I want to die today this stops me

[1964dodge]

what is the one most important thing that makes you want to die today and what is the one most important reason you won't today me it's pain and hurting my family is why I won't today

 

[Desperate_Soul]

To get it over with. To stop the constant suicidal thoughts. To finally feel at peace without anything to worry or stress about.

Failing. Fear. Hope. Regret.

 

[Merseymike]

Because I still haven't worked up the courage to do so and because I'm starting some work next week.
But mostly needing the courage to actually commit the act which sounds pathetic

 

[1964dodge]

Because I still haven't worked up the courage to do so and because I'm starting some work next week.
But mostly needing the courage to actually commit the act which sounds pathetic

it's not pathetic there is nothing wrong with suicide but only after you tried everything to be even a little ok and it sounds like you have something to look forward to the new job remember suicide is permanent there's no turning back good luck on your new job

 

[Merseymike]

But some work won't even begin to make up for everything else. No...Need to die and soon.

 

[Mr2005]

Me too. No turning back in life either. What's done is done. That's precisely why I need to die. The difference being once dead I won't know anything about it. Theres a couple of reasons I'm not. Unfinished business and actually having a method I can stomach

 

[1964dodge]

Me too. No turning back in life either. What's done is done. That's precisely why I need to die. The difference being once dead I won't know anything about it. Theres a couple of reasons I'm not. Unfinished business and actually having a method I can stomach

you can't turn back what you have done in life but you can correct them and make things right

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

Just being fed up of the usual day in day out life.

Not having tied up loose ends eg what to do with things like my phone contract, possessions, savings. Also the upset it will cause my family.

 

[blueming]

Living makes me want to die. I feel like life is meaningless and I don't want to suffer anymore.

I guess I need some closure first. Goodbyes with family who are in another country, things like that. And I just haven't worked up the courage to do it yet, so I'm procrastinating haha. There are also a few things I'm kind of looking forward to, stupid things like new movies and music... hopefully I'll gain enough courage and do it soon.

 

[Merseymike]

A lot of us have courage issues

 

[1964dodge]

Living makes me want to die. I feel like life is meaningless and I don't want to suffer anymore.

I guess I need some closure first. Goodbyes with family who are in another country, things like that. And I just haven't worked up the courage to do it yet, so I'm procrastinating haha. There are also a few things I'm kind of looking forward to, stupid things like new movies and music... hopefully I'll gain enough courage and do it soon.

don't rush it enjoy all you can on earth first

 

[blueming]

don't rush it enjoy all you can on earth first

To be honest I don't enjoy anything anymore. I just keep delaying, I need to make sure that my method is suitable and I won't back out at the last minute.

 

[Kim]

Today I've very dark thoughts about CTB. I think I take some drugs later and visit my friend... I've promised that I visit him tonight and do nothing stupid till there ...

Fucking life...

 

[Mr2005]

you can't turn back what you have done in life but you can correct them and make things right

Not always. My only way is with a gun. Who knows I might have to do it all again anyway which would be fab

 

[deadinwaiting]

my mental state

 

[Nem]

Holding me back...? I would say I'm waiting for the right time to finish myself off for good. It's kind of cold out lately so I will wait a bit to do d a warm day and then find a spot to tie the rope properly and then either hang or drive away fast

 

[bigj75]

i used to be like that but then realized my parents are the one who caused all this. So fuck family.

 

[Duqu]

I hurt so so much (even just physically if you want to take out mental problems).

What stops me? My cat. He adores me and is always at the door when I come home and comes in to get pets and tummy rubs (yes my cat is weird that way) every morning and night when I'm going to bed. He pines when I'm not away (seriously last time I was in the hospital he lost 3 lbs). If I died he'd go to a shelter, and he is feline leukeumia (FelV) positive so I'm certain he'd be put down right away. He's never given it to another cat (despite being around a lot and most of them weren't vaccinated against it regularly) and he's only been sick once, when he was a kitten and initially dxed. They told me he wouldn't live another 2 months (he was 5 months old then) and he's 11 now! Hasn't been sick since! I adore this cat.

 

[1964dodge]

I hurt so so much (even just physically if you want to take out mental problems).

What stops me? My cat. He adores me and is always at the door when I come home and comes in to get pets and tummy rubs (yes my cat is weird that way) every morning and night when I'm going to bed. He pines when I'm not away (seriously last time I was in the hospital he lost 3 lbs). If I died he'd go to a shelter, and he is feline leukeumia (FelV) positive so I'm certain he'd be put down right away. He's never given it to another cat (despite being around a lot and most of them weren't vaccinated against it regularly) and he's only been sick once, when he was a kitten and initially dxed. They told me he wouldn't live another 2 months (he was 5 months old then) and he's 11 now! Hasn't been sick since! I adore this cat.

actually if you suffer from chronic pain depression is almost automatic the more pain the worse the depression I know how you feel and I hope you find something to help with the pain

 

[Duqu]

actually if you suffer from chronic pain depression is almost automatic the more pain the worse the depression I know how you feel and I hope you find something to help with the pain

Thanks. I already take two strong opioids (morphine and dilaudid) to deal with the pain and it only helps about 4 points on the "10 point pain scale where 0 is no pain and 10 is I'm dying" lol so if I'm only at a 6 it'll bring me down to a 2 which is a blessing but I'm having to take twice my prescribed dose to get the same effects so I'm afraid of running out. I probably won't run out of morphine since I have an extra backup bottle but dilaudid....ugh.

But yeah it does make the depression worse. I'm actually bipolar 2 but I tend to lean toward the depressive side (my anti-seizure meds take care of my manic side)

 

[1964dodge]

Thanks. I already take two strong opioids (morphine and dilaudid) to deal with the pain and it only helps about 4 points on the "10 point pain scale where 0 is no pain and 10 is I'm dying" lol so if I'm only at a 6 it'll bring me down to a 2 which is a blessing but I'm having to take twice my prescribed dose to get the same effects so I'm afraid of running out. I probably won't run out of morphine since I have an extra backup bottle but dilaudid....ugh.

But yeah it does make the depression worse. I'm actually bipolar 2 but I tend to lean toward the depressive side (my anti-seizure meds take care of my manic side)

that's strange i'm on morphine sulfate and hydromorphone (generic dilaudid) also along with other meds my doctor is trying duloxetine an antidepressant for pain i'm just starting so i'm not sure if it will work I feel for you people who don't have chronic pain don't understand I hope you can get some relief

 

[davidlynchfan666]

I want to die because my life is hopeless and just one awful situation after the other.

The one thing thats stopping me is fear of failure and ending up in an even worse situation.

 

[Deutschv2]

I can't order anything online cause my parents go through my mail and I'm a jobless fuckup. I really wish I could get my hands on some formic acid...

 

[Mr2005]

I want to die because my life is hopeless and just one awful situation after the other.

The one thing thats stopping me is fear of failure and ending up in an even worse situation.

Mulholland drive captures it so well. (Spoiler) The dream of what could have been and the reality of how it actually is driving her to suicide, at least that's how I interpret it and it's a less fantastical version of that hell that I 'm experiencing. It's almost worth living just to see it again though is it not?

 

[1964dodge]

I want to die because my life is hopeless and just one awful situation after the other.

The one thing thats stopping me is fear of failure and ending up in an even worse situation.

almost all suicide attempts fail and a lot of the serious attempts have serious and sometimes permanent health problems the best thing is to try to work on your life and then if you have to make sure you have a perfect method remember suicide is permanent there is no turning back

 

[Deutschv2]

almost all suicide attempts fail and a lot of the serious attempts have serious and sometimes permanent health problems the best thing is to try to work on your life and then if you have to make sure you have a perfect method remember suicide is permanent there is no turning back

>almost all suicide attempts fail
no, that includes cries for attention and people not educated on suicide, so saying that on this website where almost all people are suicidally literate is pretty misleading
>a lot of the serious attempts have serious and sometimes permanent health problems
how do you know which ones are serious and which ones not? where did you get such info?
>the best thing is to try to work on your life
that is a good solution, but you are billing it as the only one. think about other people's positions please

 

[davidlynchfan666]

Mulholland drive captures it so well. (Spoiler) The dream of what could have been and the reality of how it actually is driving her to suicide, at least that's how I interpret it and it's a less fantastical version of that hell that I 'm experiencing. It's almost worth living just to see it again though is it not?

Its one of my all time favorite movies. Lost Highway is really great too.

 

[davidlynchfan666]

almost all suicide attempts fail and a lot of the serious attempts have serious and sometimes permanent health problems the best thing is to try to work on your life and then if you have to make sure you have a perfect method remember suicide is permanent there is no turning back

The fact that its permanent is why im so keen on ctb. To me life is just this free fall into nothingness. The finalness of suicide is comforting.

 

[1964dodge]

The fact that its permanent is why im so keen on ctb. To me life is just this free fall into nothingness. The finalness of suicide is comforting.

i'm just saying be sure because it is permanent but if a person is sure it's their decision

 

[Trashcan]

I need the supplies. I ordered the gun I and it's going to be shipped to a shop within the next 1-2 weeks. (The gun I wanted it out of stock there). Then I can pick it up, get ammo, and everything else I need. I can't imagine it will be much longer after that.