-NH-ONO2Na
Member
- Jan 16, 2025
- 5
So I fucked up my life early and ended up doing something retarded and stupid and now I have a conviction next to my name for the rest of my life. Not to mention health issues on top of that.
I have tried to find every option to try and fix this and get my life back on track and just nothing. No one wants to hire someone so worthless.
I am at an end here and I have no other options, my partner is way better off without me and I feel that killing myself would finally give them closure to just leave and get on with their life and I would stop dragging them down.
I don't care about dying at this point it's much preferable to just existing.
But because of my circumstances I cannot apply for a shotgun license anymore so I am stuck between options of beg, borrow or steal.
Every day I think about getting wasted and going to the train station and waiting for one of the high speed trains to come past so I can just jump into it.
How do you get past this self preservation instinct? I know if someone put a shotgun in my hands I could eat a shotgun no problem but other methods I feel unsure on. I am still looking to buying SN under a Llc so that it does not get reported but every time I think about setting up the day to CTB with SN I autistically worry about it going wrong and suffering immensely, already has some overdose issues with opiates that did not kill me and suffered immensely.
I feel like a coward I want to die but I can't bring my self to do anything but one of the most secure methods of CTB e.g. shotgun to head
I have tried to find every option to try and fix this and get my life back on track and just nothing. No one wants to hire someone so worthless.
I am at an end here and I have no other options, my partner is way better off without me and I feel that killing myself would finally give them closure to just leave and get on with their life and I would stop dragging them down.
I don't care about dying at this point it's much preferable to just existing.
But because of my circumstances I cannot apply for a shotgun license anymore so I am stuck between options of beg, borrow or steal.
Every day I think about getting wasted and going to the train station and waiting for one of the high speed trains to come past so I can just jump into it.
How do you get past this self preservation instinct? I know if someone put a shotgun in my hands I could eat a shotgun no problem but other methods I feel unsure on. I am still looking to buying SN under a Llc so that it does not get reported but every time I think about setting up the day to CTB with SN I autistically worry about it going wrong and suffering immensely, already has some overdose issues with opiates that did not kill me and suffered immensely.
I feel like a coward I want to die but I can't bring my self to do anything but one of the most secure methods of CTB e.g. shotgun to head
Last edited:
