Menhera Chan
Rather be asleep than awake
- Feb 13, 2023
- 10
I cant talk about suicide anywhere else. I barely talk about my attempts, I have attempted probably about 10 times, hanging, gun, pills, stabbing my throat but every time i chicken out because i dont want to make my friends more depressed than they already are, i always feel so selfish and invalid and i used to cut but my friends found my blades and threw them away, i always stop crying to make myself go help them with their problems but i get more and more tired everyday i want to die and i feel like a hypocrite and helpless and sometimes i feel like dying is better yet not. I started talking to a guy and hes made me happy i have issues trusting men but now i feel like hes tired of me and now im here cause i feel like dying. My friend called me to try to get me to feel better and while seeing her with the plushie i gave her makes me happy i still feel suicidal. I have terrible mood swings where I am happy and the next I want to die. I just sometimes wish if i died everyone else can live happy lives, that they would feel better, even to the people who did me wrong, cause i know if everyone had happy and healthy lives maybe the world would be less cruel.
Ive wanted to kill myself for years. I feel like no matter how good of a day it is i want to kill myself as soon as the joy is gone. I feel so hollow sometimes like a broken glass doll changing faces being toyed around with by the universe.
Ive wanted to kill myself for years. I feel like no matter how good of a day it is i want to kill myself as soon as the joy is gone. I feel so hollow sometimes like a broken glass doll changing faces being toyed around with by the universe.
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