I want to die but then people say because I haven’t done it I don’t

[xxxllrrssaa]

I have been considering suicide seriously for a few months, I went somewhere to jump but I got detained a while ago. I know the only way out of my problems is to end my life, but I'm just so scared I'll get to the cliffs again and not be able to jump and then end up being detained and be worse off. I don't really know what I'm asking but I have no one to talk to about it who isn't going to call someone. People also say if I was actually suicidal I would have jumped by now. It's another thing I'm failing at that I can't even jump

 

[RealHumanBean]

I have been considering suicide seriously for a few months, I went somewhere to jump but I got detained a while ago. I know the only way out of my problems is to end my life, but I'm just so scared I'll get to the cliffs again and not be able to jump and then end up being detained and be worse off. I don't really know what I'm asking but I have no one to talk to about it who isn't going to call someone. People also say if I was actually suicidal I would have jumped by now. It's another thing I'm failing at that I can't even jump

What you're experiencing is called "survival instinct". It's when our lizard brain kicks in and we preserve ourselves from expiring even though that disagrees with our higher-functioning feelings.

 

[Manford]

I knew someone that made a couple of attempts before succeeding. Some people thought that person was just seeking help with pseudo-attempts. Well, they were wrong. The survival instinct can be tough to overcome and jumping is particularly daunting. Don't give yourself grief for not making the jump.

 

[Charmolypi]

Ugh. Those people are emotionally invalidating you and your suffering. They are so uncomfortable with pain that they prefer to believe your condition is not completely real. They might not do so out of mere disrespect for you, but in doing so they are not treating you with empathy.
You can feel suicidal and not succeed. It's hard to do it. In fact, you can feel suicidal and not even seriously attempt. You don't have to demonstrate anything to anyone, and that's okay.

Sending you hugs.

 

[Pookie]

All I can say is that those people are absolutely clueless. Doesn't sound like they have any empathy or any understanding about mental health issues. Sorry you have to listen to such tripe and sending hugs.

And throw them off a cliff. (Joking).

 

[Thin Chew]

I once heard a guy in this forum say, it's you that want to die, but your hand and body doesn't want too.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I once heard a guy in this forum say, it's you that want to die, but your hand and body doesn't want too.

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."

 

[Sprite_Geist]

This attitude and reaction to a suicidal person is the reason why some people with suicidal thoughts do not want to "get help" in the first place. You may genuinely want to end your own life. It could be the other way around too: maybe you do not want to end your life; it is possible to think about dying without actually wanting to do it - this is called ideation. Either way, though, it does not matter because the fact that somebody is thinking about killing themselves can indicate that they are in pain, and so they should be listened to.

 

[Going Home]

You don't have to explain anything to them!

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

people don't consider all the variables involved with a successful suicide. they just don't think of it. timing, method,e.t.c.

 

[_Kaira_]

You have nothing to prove to them, let them believe what they're going to believe. Si is a difficult thing to overcome.

 

[Makko]

I say I want to be a trillionaire but because I'm not, that must mean I don't.

 

[Antigonish]

I have been considering suicide seriously for a few months, I went somewhere to jump but I got detained a while ago. I know the only way out of my problems is to end my life, but I'm just so scared I'll get to the cliffs again and not be able to jump and then end up being detained and be worse off. I don't really know what I'm asking but I have no one to talk to about it who isn't going to call someone. People also say if I was actually suicidal I would have jumped by now. It's another thing I'm failing at that I can't even jump

That's the funny thing about CTBing. You can only properly do it once. Do it when you're ready, if you'll ever be ready. Hopefully not. But what I'm saying, is you bvb cant listen to those people. They turn suicidal into suicide and dont even realize it. Just because it's been some years that you started being suicidal. Doesn't mean you've given up. To their perception. They figure if you were gonna do it, you would've done it by now. In my own personal case. They just don't know how many times I've attempted and failed. Dont force yourself, to prove a point people are disgusting. And before you try the 'final solution'; atleast consider other options. If those fail, at least you know you tried and have exhausted all other choices. Like they say about college, it's never to late. In this case, if possible just try leaving everything that draws you torment.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

they said you can't anyway. so stop talking about it, it sucks. if you can,
just do it right instead of annoying.

really?

 

[WornOutLife]

I don't believe the system is something like "If you haven't ctb, you won't do it. "
It sometimes takes YEARS for people to make a decision about ctb or not. Your ending your own life and you gotta be 100% sure because you could end up worse than before depending on the method.
So, just relax and decide what's best for you. Time will tell.

 

[wunschtraum]

yes. theY mean it is my decision but they dont want have sth to do with that. but they controlled me for a while. (I am bedridden, it was easy to control me)

 

[Makko]

I read some of your posts before joining and got the "genius vibe" from you. Hope you enjoy compliments on suicide forums from mentally challenged man-children.

I joined just to post the classic "my story" thread but I'm hopelessly stuck writing it. So meanwhile I go around enlightening you lesser beings with my astute and indefatigable intelligence. It might be more therapeutic, actually.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I joined just to post the classic "my story" thread but I'm hopelessly stuck writing it. So meanwhile I go around enlightening you lesser beings with my astute and indefatigable intelligence. It might be more therapeutic, actually.

Do you like riddles?

 

[Antigonish]

I joined just to post the classic "my story" thread but I'm hopelessly stuck writing it. So meanwhile I go around enlightening you lesser beings with my astute and indefatigable intelligence. It might be more therapeutic, actually.

I was definitely like yay, until the lesser beings part.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I was definitely like yay, until the lesser beings part.

Geniuses do these kinds of things as subconscious tests to see if people have the wherewithal to ignore the superficial and focus on what's important, methinks. Also if they were neglected or their abilities not recognized they might have the need for someone to love them so much that no matter how thorny they are they'll still get hugged. Idk, I just like the sensation of typing.

 

[Makko]

 

[fent_dnm27]

I have been considering suicide seriously for a few months, I went somewhere to jump but I got detained a while ago. I know the only way out of my problems is to end my life, but I'm just so scared I'll get to the cliffs again and not be able to jump and then end up being detained and be worse off. I don't really know what I'm asking but I have no one to talk to about it who isn't going to call someone. People also say if I was actually suicidal I would have jumped by now. It's another thing I'm failing at that I can't even jump

Sounds like you need a different method. Jumping sounds hard - i don't think i could do it unless I was totally out of options. Even then, as long as I had access to sharp objects i'd still rather slit my wrists and bleed out.

 

[xxxllrrssaa]

I know I am being annoying which makes me feel like I just have to do it more

 

[Mentalmick]

i'd still rather slit my wrists and bleed out.

Tried that 3 times. Last time I thought I'd go down the way. (bound to fuck up an artery that way) Turns out that sitting on a park bench at night isn't ideal conditions for precision surgery. Missed by about 10mm and all I got was a lot of blood and funny looks. And also a trip to a&e the next day for stitches and a guilt trip.

 

[xLosthopex]

Ugh I hate when people say that.... my Mum says it to me sometimes
Like do people not realize how bloody difficult it is to plan out your ctb?? There are so many things that can go wrong, and I absolutely do NOT want to end up in a vegetative state, that would just be my worst nightmare
I've failed like 10 attempts already so I have to be very careful to make my next attempt as foolproof as possible, non-suicidal people need to shut the f*** up

 

[Antigonish]

Geniuses do these kinds of things as subconscious tests to see if people have the wherewithal to ignore the superficial and focus on what's important, methinks. Also if they were neglected or their abilities not recognized they might have the need for someone to love them so much that no matter how thorny they are they'll still get hugged. Idk, I just like the sensation of typing.

I gave you a hug, kind felt like that was what you were asking for. Have fun typing.

 

[262653]

I joined just to post the classic "my story" thread but I'm hopelessly stuck writing it. So meanwhile I go around enlightening you lesser beings with my astute and indefatigable intelligence. It might be more therapeutic, actually.

Huh, I was quite sure indefatigable was used an intentional malapropism on your part to give a sarcastic flavor to your statement (with the confused term being inexhaustible), until I bothered to check the dictionary. A fine addition to my collection.

I was definitely like yay, until the lesser beings part.

I was like yay, and after the lesser beings part I've become yay.

Geniuses do these kinds of things as subconscious tests to see if people have the wherewithal to ignore the superficial and focus on what's important, methinks. Also if they were neglected or their abilities not recognized they might have the need for someone to love them so much that no matter how thorny they are they'll still get hugged. Idk, I just like the sensation of typing.

I like the sensation the feel-good chemicals produce in my brain when I hear fancy, unfamiliar to me words, like wherewithal. OMG it's soooo good.

 

[lugerepair]

People also say if I was actually suicidal I would have jumped by now.

That just makes no sense and is incredibly invalidating. By that logic, people could only be called suicidal in retrospect, after they've already killed themselves. Everyone who has ever killed themselves was alive at some point, wishing to be dead. They were suicidal, and not dead yet.