braziliansuicidegirl
Member
- Nov 9, 2020
- 37
I want to die, but I don't want to kill myself. I find myself constantly thinking that I don't want to live anymore, but when I think about taking my own life, I no longer have the same courage I felt a few years ago, not out of a fear of dying, but a fear of the consequences of that choice. I feel that nowadays I'm more aware of the impact my death would have on my family and friends, I didn't want them to know that I gave up.
I feel it would be easier if it were an accident, a physical illness, or anything that stripped me of the responsibility of leaving them. I find myself constantly thinking about how I'd like to die accidentally, hoping for something to just happen and take the responsibility of doing it away from me. Some days I even fantasize about the idea of hiring someone to kill me, it sounds like something that only works in books and movies, but it would also be much easier. Other days, I just feel like making all sorts of reckless and impulsive decisions, hoping they might kill me. Does anyone else find themselves thinking like this?
I feel it would be easier if it were an accident, a physical illness, or anything that stripped me of the responsibility of leaving them. I find myself constantly thinking about how I'd like to die accidentally, hoping for something to just happen and take the responsibility of doing it away from me. Some days I even fantasize about the idea of hiring someone to kill me, it sounds like something that only works in books and movies, but it would also be much easier. Other days, I just feel like making all sorts of reckless and impulsive decisions, hoping they might kill me. Does anyone else find themselves thinking like this?
