Help i want to ctb but i cant bring myself to because i always have this hope that things will get better in the future.

[myaccount1104]

i just want to die now but i always end up stopping myself because i cant stop thinking about the future and how it might get better.

 

[mafuyu]

it could. it could also get worse. fun part about life is you have to wait in order to find out…

 

[starlightsun]

If you think it could get better than why not try to make that happen? There's a quote that "you can always kill yourself tomorrow", if things don't get better that option is always there, but why not try to live a better life first if you can.
I hope things work out for you.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Somehow I can relate to this. Every time I come close to CTB I get FOMO of life what I could miss out although actually there's nothing to miss out and most likely nothing's gonna be better either. But things really can go in both directions that's what we don't know that's the gamble of life.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Its what im struggling with aswell. Mentally I keep getting worse, but its the small goals that keep me going. Im getting sn delivered soon, already got most things taken care of, thinking everyday I was dead while harming myself... But what if I get better and I will miss out on everything??
The mind can be real tiresome.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I am with starlightsun on this. I find this sounds like hope... not optimism but hope... What are your biggest "reasons" and what is your current "therapy" status? If you don't mind answering?
I am currently in the process, where I don't care anymore if there is a better tomorrow and stopped believing in getting better physically (completely dependent on others and the "functioning" of the system... The pain I am in, and the options and availability does not weigh up (does this make sense in english?) future betterings...
I am sending a virtual hug!