I want to recover even though I truely think I'm too far gone (been struggling with ideation for over 12 years) and I've been trying to reach out for as long as I could remember.
When I was a minor I had the barrier of my parents sheltering me and refusing to let me talk to anyone or even get a diagnosis of even depression.
College came and I tried reaching out. Was referred to outpatient heard nothing back. Following year different doctor, same thing. Referral new meds. Nothing. I stopped for a while there then tried again. Third doctor basically refused to prescribe me anything and straight up told me I'm just lonely and need more people (very well wasn't the case).
I finally got my own GP about 3 years ago and he's referred me to outpatient and was refused. He tried again, they took me, the psychiatrist had me spill my life story to them only to be told I'm fine and nothing is wrong with me and basically don't come back without even giving an assessment of any sort.
My GP was trying to handle it since then but last 6 months have been brutal with how fixated I am on CTB so he referred me again in hopes we get somewhere.
I truely don't think it'll get anywhere even if I'm lucky enough to get an appointment. I simply don't have the effort in me to keep trying to reach out again and again as it's been 6 years of me doing so.
The healthcare system in completely flooded. Even people who go to the ER who are actively dying have been turned away because "it's the usual" and have unfortunately passed.
How do you keep holding on and reaching out when clearly there's no one there?
When I was a minor I had the barrier of my parents sheltering me and refusing to let me talk to anyone or even get a diagnosis of even depression.
College came and I tried reaching out. Was referred to outpatient heard nothing back. Following year different doctor, same thing. Referral new meds. Nothing. I stopped for a while there then tried again. Third doctor basically refused to prescribe me anything and straight up told me I'm just lonely and need more people (very well wasn't the case).
I finally got my own GP about 3 years ago and he's referred me to outpatient and was refused. He tried again, they took me, the psychiatrist had me spill my life story to them only to be told I'm fine and nothing is wrong with me and basically don't come back without even giving an assessment of any sort.
My GP was trying to handle it since then but last 6 months have been brutal with how fixated I am on CTB so he referred me again in hopes we get somewhere.
I truely don't think it'll get anywhere even if I'm lucky enough to get an appointment. I simply don't have the effort in me to keep trying to reach out again and again as it's been 6 years of me doing so.
The healthcare system in completely flooded. Even people who go to the ER who are actively dying have been turned away because "it's the usual" and have unfortunately passed.
How do you keep holding on and reaching out when clearly there's no one there?
