Venting I wanna scream and cry everyday but I can't

[SwanLakeDance]

I wanna die I wanna CTB I wanna do it so so so so so so fucking bad, I feels empty eeveryday every single day of my life and I couldnt vent it out to anyone. absolute noone! why?? Noone would litsen to me ofcourse. I got money I got everything that could make normal human being happy but nah I'm fucking depressed, i feels lonely and hopeless thinking about dying every single night. overdosing and cutting self alot while hiding it and telling others that 'im fine' but im fucking not. everytime i type or say that 'im fine' i wanna fucking tear my facee off and bang my head against the wall. Waking up everyday feels hard and exhausting, it feels so empty and so hopeless i feels like everything is out of my control and noone could help me. I can't even ta;l about or act about something I love without being ignore or make fun of, I'm fucking miserable. living in a world where everyone could express their feelings out without being judge and being taken care eof while you're completely the opposite feels so fucking worse. though i might be online with alot of people, shared a laugh and game everyday, I STILL FUCKING FEELING LONELY AND EMPTY LIKE SERIOUSLY??? I COULDNT VENT BECAUSE IT'LL ONLY HURT OTHERS AND NOONE WOULD SUPPORT ME AND EVENTUALLY ABANDON ME IF I VENT?? WHY?? AM I NOT A FUCKING HUMAN BEING EVEN TOWARD MY FRIENDS OR PERSON I TRULY LOVE?? WHY THEY HAVE TO DESPISE ME JUST BECAUSE I VENT AND HAVING THIS FUCKING DISEASE I DONT EVEN WANT IN A FIRST FUCKING PLACE. I NEVER GET A HEALTHY SLEEP ITS EITHER OVERSLEEP OR LACK OF SLEEP. I SHOULD BE WAKING UP EARLY TOMORROW BUT HERE I AM. STILL UP AND ONLINE VENTING SHIT TO SOME WEBSITE IDK IF PEOPLE WILL READ THIS OR NO BUT I FR DONT CARE ANYMORE, IF I CANT VENT THEN NOONE WILL KNOWS ABOUT MY FUCKING MISERABLE LIFE. THEN IF I DIE I WONT EVEN TELL THEM TOO, FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL FUCK THE SOCIETY AND FUCK MYSELF TOO. IM JUST A FUCKING FREAK TOWARD THEM THEY DONT CARE,. NOT EVEN MY FAMILY NOONE CARES IF IM OGING TO LIVE OR DIE NOONE ABSOLUTET NO FUCKING ONE

 

[wantittoendsoon]

I wanna die I wanna CTB I wanna do it so so so so so so fucking bad, I feels empty eeveryday every single day of my life and I couldnt vent it out to anyone. absolute noone! why?? Noone would litsen to me ofcourse. I got money I got everything that could make normal human being happy but nah I'm fucking depressed, i feels lonely and hopeless thinking about dying every single night. overdosing and cutting self alot while hiding it and telling others that 'im fine' but im fucking not. everytime i type or say that 'im fine' i wanna fucking tear my facee off and bang my head against the wall. Waking up everyday feels hard and exhausting, it feels so empty and so hopeless i feels like everything is out of my control and noone could help me. I can't even ta;l about or act about something I love without being ignore or make fun of, I'm fucking miserable. living in a world where everyone could express their feelings out without being judge and being taken care eof while you're completely the opposite feels so fucking worse. though i might be online with alot of people, shared a laugh and game everyday, I STILL FUCKING FEELING LONELY AND EMPTY LIKE SERIOUSLY??? I COULDNT VENT BECAUSE IT'LL ONLY HURT OTHERS AND NOONE WOULD SUPPORT ME AND EVENTUALLY ABANDON ME IF I VENT?? WHY?? AM I NOT A FUCKING HUMAN BEING EVEN TOWARD MY FRIENDS OR PERSON I TRULY LOVE?? WHY THEY HAVE TO DESPISE ME JUST BECAUSE I VENT AND HAVING THIS FUCKING DISEASE I DONT EVEN WANT IN A FIRST FUCKING PLACE. I NEVER GET A HEALTHY SLEEP ITS EITHER OVERSLEEP OR LACK OF SLEEP. I SHOULD BE WAKING UP EARLY TOMORROW BUT HERE I AM. STILL UP AND ONLINE VENTING SHIT TO SOME WEBSITE IDK IF PEOPLE WILL READ THIS OR NO BUT I FR DONT CARE ANYMORE, IF I CANT VENT THEN NOONE WILL KNOWS ABOUT MY FUCKING MISERABLE LIFE. THEN IF I DIE I WONT EVEN TELL THEM TOO, FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL FUCK THE SOCIETY AND FUCK MYSELF TOO. IM JUST A FUCKING FREAK TOWARD THEM THEY DONT CARE,. NOT EVEN MY FAMILY NOONE CARES IF IM OGING TO LIVE OR DIE NOONE ABSOLUTET NO FUCKING ONE

there are many people here you can talk to, just reach out

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing really is torture, that is for certain. I hope that you find freedom from what you are going through as it sounds like you suffer so unbearably and of course it's beyond awful feeling so trapped in this world.

 

[Rainy_days]

Yeah a lot of times I wish I could cry and scream out loud too. A long time ago, someone who was trying to help me took me to the beach and said swim underwater, and scream there as much as I needed to. That was helpful since there's not really anywhere that is socially acceptable to be screaming in pain.

 

[outrider567]

Yeah, its not just tears that consume me, many times I wish I could just scream.... just miss her so much

 

[mojabaka]

Same. I want to cry everyday, but I don't have the energy anymore.

 

[SwanLakeDance]

Same. I want to cry everyday, but I don't have the energy anymore.

Same! sometime i feels like im going mad and i just wants to sleep then never waking up again. its kinda suck tho ngl. maybe crying is better

Yeah, its not just tears that consume me, many times I wish I could just scream.... just miss her so much

My love cheated on me and ignored me despite me fallen unconscious due to sickness, they didnt even notice that i was gone LOL its been year, yet I couldnt get over it.