Venting i truly think this is the worst ive ever felt

[maidens]

I can't even put how I feel into words. it's torture. I have absolutely no reasons to keep on living, but I keep chickening out of CTBing. I don't know whats stopping me, I already have something to hang myself with. I know I have no future and I won't be missed for long.

nothing is comforting. I posted my art on Twitter twice this week, and they got more likes than usual, but it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it'd be. I don't understand why, it's what I wanted.

my friends don't truly care about me. actually, this morning, I had another conflict with a friend, they were the cause of someone indirectly making fun of me. I can't take it anymore, there were so many things I could've done today if I had motivation, but my mental illness has been untreated for so so many years, it's worsening and preventing me from doing so much. I can't take it anymore, I really can't, but there's nothing I can do.

 

[foxgirl]

I hear you, even down to the art-posting not bringing any joy or satisfaction.. I do art for a living and it is all I wanted but now I'm just so exhausted. I too struggle with just pushing myself to ctb. Hopefully here you can find talking to people you can relate to brings you some comfort. Best of luck to you in managing these feelings. You aren't alone

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I think everyone on the side of SaSu echo the exact same sentiment. The older we get, the more we realize how shitty other people are. Human exsistence is such a joke. Livng is intolerable, but there aren't many easy ways to go.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

I feel the same. I detest myself and my life, I don't even know how to live anymore, but I just can't get enough courage to end all of this suffering. This is truly miserable

 

[reaching_zer0]

I hope you will find peace some day. I think it's cool that even if you are feeling so down with no motivation at all, you manage to make some arts and share it. May you find some joy with it, take care

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's dreadful feeling so trapped in this existence but anyway I wish you the best, it's awful to me how it's not more straightforward to just cease existing on our own terms.

 

[Levia@than]

I get it. It's not easy to word how you feel sometimes. For me personally, it's very hard for me to open up because I don't know how to verbalize my emotions. Chickening out of cbt is another thing I can relate to a lot. Humans instinctively want to survive so your body actively rejects killing yourself, regardless of how badly you want to. I understand it's hard, but I belive in you. We are all in this together.