I tried so many times but I failed

[ijustwantout]

I'm writing this right after I just tried to CTB not once but atleast 3 times. I chose partial hanging because I couldn't do anything else. I'm done. I just want it to be over. I tried rope and even a necktie but I feel the pressure build up in my head and then nothing...i don't pass out or anything. I'm jealous of the ones who succeeded. I just want to stop existing. Why am I still here ? Please someone help me die . I JUST WANT TO FUCKIN DIE...


I'm living on an island so if there is any over the counter drug cocktail that can do pls suggest or tell me cause I'm done... I just want out

 

[rozeske]

Am sorry it's a terrible spot to be in. OTC meds are not going to work but it seems like you are not doing the partial method correctly. The exploding head feeling indicates you are not applying enough pressure and was only blocking the jugular veins and not the carotid arteries. Partial is a bit difficult to get right but constitutes majority of hanging reports.

 

[ijustwantout]

Am sorry it's a terrible spot to be in. OTC meds are not going to work but it seems like you are not doing the partial method correctly. The exploding head feeling indicates you are not applying enough pressure and was only blocking the jugular veins and not the carotid arteries. Partial is a bit difficult to get right but constitutes majority of hanging reports.

I think you're right. Maybe I was just blocking my jagular instead of the carotid. It was difficult and painful when I did it but I guess I was just too desperate.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Can't you do full suspension? What about ceiling hooks of your chandeliers in your flat/house? I'm sorry you failed and it's so agonizing. May I ask you why you want to die so badly? Here's a partial guide, maybe this could help you. I'm sorry u have to go through this.

Best way to succeed partial hanging

Last week, I have been practicing different ways of doing partial hanging and will share which method has worked the best out of all. In order to succeed partial hanging, is to fully block the carotid arteries on both sides of your neck, around 80-90% of the blood flow in the blood vessels has...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[ijustwantout]

Can't you do full suspension? What about ceiling hooks of your chandeliers in your flat/house? I'm sorry you failed and it's so agonizing. May I ask you why you want to die so badly? Here's a partial guide, maybe this could help you. I'm sorry u have to go through this.

Best way to succeed partial hanging

Last week, I have been practicing different ways of doing partial hanging and will share which method has worked the best out of all. In order to succeed partial hanging, is to fully block the carotid arteries on both sides of your neck, around 80-90% of the blood flow in the blood vessels has...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I lost almost everything I had. The girl I love is almost gone, my grades are getting worse, my mental health is getting worse and worse day by day. The final final exams are creeping up and the pressure is immense. I'm on multiple mental health medication and therapy. I've got no friends or anyone's rely on. I'm always alone in my room with my sickening thoughts. It's exhausting. It really really is. Everyday waking up and going through this is exhausting. Every day feels like a year. I end up crying in the bathroom alone everyday but when I come out I put a smiley face. I'm tired and scared and exhausted and I can't move an inch forward. It's hard... No happiness is permanent in my life... I have no talent or anything to show. I'm just a meat punching bag for life to play with. That's it. That's me. I'm the punching bag of life. That's why I want to die. Because I don't want to be a punching bag anymore.

 

[rozeske]

I lost almost everything I had. The girl I love is almost gone, my grades are getting worse, my mental health is getting worse and worse day by day. The final final exams are creeping up and the pressure is immense. I'm on multiple mental health medication and therapy. I've got no friends or anyone's rely on. I'm always alone in my room with my sickening thoughts. It's exhausting. It really really is. Everyday waking up and going through this is exhausting. Every day feels like a year. I end up crying in the bathroom alone everyday but when I come out I put a smiley face. I'm tired and scared and exhausted and I can't move an inch forward. It's hard... No happiness is permanent in my life... I have no talent or anything to show. I'm just a meat punching bag for life to play with. That's it. That's me. I'm the punching bag of life. That's why I want to die. Because I don't want to be a punching bag anymore.

Am so sorry, I hope you are able to find your peace soon, one way or the other.

 

[matt1968]

I lost almost everything I had. The girl I love is almost gone, my grades are getting worse, my mental health is getting worse and worse day by day. The final final exams are creeping up and the pressure is immense. I'm on multiple mental health medication and therapy. I've got no friends or anyone's rely on. I'm always alone in my room with my sickening thoughts. It's exhausting. It really really is. Everyday waking up and going through this is exhausting. Every day feels like a year. I end up crying in the bathroom alone everyday but when I come out I put a smiley face. I'm tired and scared and exhausted and I can't move an inch forward. It's hard... No happiness is permanent in my life... I have no talent or anything to show. I'm just a meat punching bag for life to play with. That's it. That's me. I'm the punching bag of life. That's why I want to die. Because I don't want to be a punching bag anymore.

I am so very sorry you're feeling like this.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I lost almost everything I had. The girl I love is almost gone, my grades are getting worse, my mental health is getting worse and worse day by day. The final final exams are creeping up and the pressure is immense. I'm on multiple mental health medication and therapy. I've got no friends or anyone's rely on. I'm always alone in my room with my sickening thoughts. It's exhausting. It really really is. Everyday waking up and going through this is exhausting. Every day feels like a year. I end up crying in the bathroom alone everyday but when I come out I put a smiley face. I'm tired and scared and exhausted and I can't move an inch forward. It's hard... No happiness is permanent in my life... I have no talent or anything to show. I'm just a meat punching bag for life to play with. That's it. That's me. I'm the punching bag of life. That's why I want to die. Because I don't want to be a punching bag anymore.

That's really rough. That's far too much pressure u have to endure. I'm sorry I can't do more but sending a strong virtual HUG to you. I hope you find a way to deal with it, whatever you decide I hope you find peace!

 

[ijustwantout]

That's really rough. That's far too much pressure u have to endure. I'm sorry I can't do more but sending a strong virtual HUG to you. I hope you find a way to deal with it, whatever you decide I hope you find peace!

Thank you ... I really needed that hug

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so horrible how it's so unnecessarily difficult to just cease existing on our own terms, it's so cruel how we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace, we really shouldn't have to suffer so much to leave this world. I also very much envy those who managed to cease existing on their own terms as they are at peace now but anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[ijustwantout]

I find it so horrible how it's so unnecessarily difficult to just cease existing on our own terms, it's so cruel how we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace, we really shouldn't have to suffer so much to leave this world. I also very much envy those who managed to cease existing on their own terms as they are at peace now but anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

Thank you for your kind words and yea I agree

 

[cosmic_traveler]

We tried partial hanging for over 2 hours at multiple lengths/positions. We passed out several times but kept recovering. Looking back, I believe the biggest problem is how thin our neck is while having a very pronounced goiter. We tried to use socks against our carotid arteries but it didn't seem to help. We're going to buy some bean bags like the night-night method suggests.

I hope you find peace. Be well on your journey.

 

[ijustwantout]

We tried partial hanging for over 2 hours at multiple lengths/positions. We passed out several times but kept recovering. Looking back, I believe the biggest problem is how thin our neck is while having a very pronounced goiter. We tried to use socks against our carotid arteries but it didn't seem to help. We're going to buy some bean bags like the night-night method suggests.

I hope you find peace. Be well on your journey.

That's exactly what I did. I tried the socks and I even lubed the rope. But I guess I didn't hit the right spot

 

[cosmic_traveler]

That's exactly what I did. I tried the socks and I even lubed the rope. But I guess I didn't hit the right spot

That's rough. With socks we couldn't seem to pass out, without them we kept recovering. I think we weren't low enough, if our necktie would have been below our goiter we might have succeeded.

We're going to practice the night-night method a few times with bean bags as suggested. We know the body tingling sensation that comes before we pass out, it's just keeping the pressure on those areas for enough time.