Defenestration
I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
- Oct 25, 2020
- 1,060
"I too was like you."
hello, I don't want to compare the suffering everyone has the right to suffer and there is no suffering worse than others...
but even if it's benevolent, I don't like it when someone who has been depressed for 6 months in their life tells me I too was throwing away like you ...while I have been suffering from bipolarity, social phobia, borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety for 20 years...
I suffer and hate life so much that I would rather die in my sleep than win 100 million euros .I am extremely jealous when I hear that someone has died.
In 20 years there has not been a year where I have not had strong suicidal desires...I would like to die, I am obsessed by the fact of dying, it is my goal every year I am almost there
but the survival instinct holds me back at the last moment...
I'm afraid of everything all the time I am on social security disability, I receive a disabled adult allowance. a very small, banal thing scares me. I am dependent on parents like a 12 year old child I have been treated since January 2008 by psychiatrists... my situation has only gotten worse. I am full of drugs morning and evening. I am socially isolated, I do not work. the psychologist told me that my situation was complicated and that recovery too, that I had to accept my condition.
and I feel a lot of guilt towards my mother who gave me everything and who has the beginnings of Alzheimer's. I would have loved to never be born, I hate life, I hate it...
but people as long as I haven't committed suicide don't take me seriously or don't realize the degree of my suffering
hello, I don't want to compare the suffering everyone has the right to suffer and there is no suffering worse than others...
but even if it's benevolent, I don't like it when someone who has been depressed for 6 months in their life tells me I too was throwing away like you ...while I have been suffering from bipolarity, social phobia, borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety for 20 years...
I suffer and hate life so much that I would rather die in my sleep than win 100 million euros .I am extremely jealous when I hear that someone has died.
In 20 years there has not been a year where I have not had strong suicidal desires...I would like to die, I am obsessed by the fact of dying, it is my goal every year I am almost there
but the survival instinct holds me back at the last moment...
I'm afraid of everything all the time I am on social security disability, I receive a disabled adult allowance. a very small, banal thing scares me. I am dependent on parents like a 12 year old child I have been treated since January 2008 by psychiatrists... my situation has only gotten worse. I am full of drugs morning and evening. I am socially isolated, I do not work. the psychologist told me that my situation was complicated and that recovery too, that I had to accept my condition.
and I feel a lot of guilt towards my mother who gave me everything and who has the beginnings of Alzheimer's. I would have loved to never be born, I hate life, I hate it...
but people as long as I haven't committed suicide don't take me seriously or don't realize the degree of my suffering
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