19 years old, Biologically male here. I live with two racist and sexist family members being my dad and brother. I've been struggling with the idea of doing you know what for a few years now.
Some general background: I've been dragged across the country for a few years now, was born somewhere near the ocean then moved to Ohio, then finally in the sunhell state known as Florida.
The town I live in how it generally works is there's the suburbs then the actual city portion is located downtown. It's like two miles away from my house. Wouldn't be that big of a deal except for the fact I've developed leg issues in my left leg and I can't walk for long periods of time without getting violent pain in it.
I've repeatedly tried looking for an online job people from a shitty company known as "TelUS" and they never replied to a single email I sent across multiple accounts, I've tried looking into multiple charities yet I need *actual* money. Most have this hair brained moronic idea that Florida needs "education" and they'll only send money to people who supposedly deserve it.
I've contacted multiple people online, friends, found my cousins who are older and they didn't give a shit, contacted people who live in Florida and other things like that. And I can't get a single person to help me, I even asked a few people on Reddit if this one charity to drive people to Minnesota was legit and they keep intentionally ignoring my messages for some reason.
It feels like people are naive and think "Don't worry, your situation will get het" Yet better never comes at all. I've been trapped in this mold infested shithole house where my dad threatens to rape me while drunk and my brother constantly defends his actions, even when my dad starts launching plates at me. Going into the morality of starting an argument and saying "you should have just gone into your room!" When he's saying he doesn't love me while there's 30 beer bottles on the floor.
The last thing that made me snap today was me saying the entire house stunk because it smelled of beer and he nearly punched me, ran into the bedroom and slammed the door, screaming incorrectly about me needing to go and get a job and saying I'm an asshole just for the simple comment about the house fucking stunk.
My online friends have this fucking insane idea where they think it'll get better when better never comes. I live with an emotionally abusive man child as my brother and father, and the police say "well, it's a civil issue and we can't really help you. Sorry."
"So anything short of him trying to kill me you're not going to listen to me."
"No, probably not that either. Like I said it's a civil issue and you need to work it out with him. We don't really respond to murders anymore."
And all of this was told with a straight face while my dad was laughing his ass off. Ever since the police told him he can do whatever he wants he just runs around the house terrorizing me at night while my brother just runs away outside saying he's not going to get involved.
I've tried contacting charities, I've tried contacting friends, I've tried contacting family, yet nobody genuinely gives a shit. It seems like everyone around me thinks my situation is magically going to improve itself and I'll somehow get a job and move out. Besides making pennies a day on prolific I don't have any income.
It just sucks. I did everything right and nobody seems to care. I feel like blowing my brains out because at least then maybe someone would care about me. At least someone would examine my story and prevent it from happening to others. But either way that's why I'm posting on here, I feel like I've lost control of my life and don't have any options anymore.
Some general background: I've been dragged across the country for a few years now, was born somewhere near the ocean then moved to Ohio, then finally in the sunhell state known as Florida.
The town I live in how it generally works is there's the suburbs then the actual city portion is located downtown. It's like two miles away from my house. Wouldn't be that big of a deal except for the fact I've developed leg issues in my left leg and I can't walk for long periods of time without getting violent pain in it.
I've repeatedly tried looking for an online job people from a shitty company known as "TelUS" and they never replied to a single email I sent across multiple accounts, I've tried looking into multiple charities yet I need *actual* money. Most have this hair brained moronic idea that Florida needs "education" and they'll only send money to people who supposedly deserve it.
I've contacted multiple people online, friends, found my cousins who are older and they didn't give a shit, contacted people who live in Florida and other things like that. And I can't get a single person to help me, I even asked a few people on Reddit if this one charity to drive people to Minnesota was legit and they keep intentionally ignoring my messages for some reason.
It feels like people are naive and think "Don't worry, your situation will get het" Yet better never comes at all. I've been trapped in this mold infested shithole house where my dad threatens to rape me while drunk and my brother constantly defends his actions, even when my dad starts launching plates at me. Going into the morality of starting an argument and saying "you should have just gone into your room!" When he's saying he doesn't love me while there's 30 beer bottles on the floor.
The last thing that made me snap today was me saying the entire house stunk because it smelled of beer and he nearly punched me, ran into the bedroom and slammed the door, screaming incorrectly about me needing to go and get a job and saying I'm an asshole just for the simple comment about the house fucking stunk.
My online friends have this fucking insane idea where they think it'll get better when better never comes. I live with an emotionally abusive man child as my brother and father, and the police say "well, it's a civil issue and we can't really help you. Sorry."
"So anything short of him trying to kill me you're not going to listen to me."
"No, probably not that either. Like I said it's a civil issue and you need to work it out with him. We don't really respond to murders anymore."
And all of this was told with a straight face while my dad was laughing his ass off. Ever since the police told him he can do whatever he wants he just runs around the house terrorizing me at night while my brother just runs away outside saying he's not going to get involved.
I've tried contacting charities, I've tried contacting friends, I've tried contacting family, yet nobody genuinely gives a shit. It seems like everyone around me thinks my situation is magically going to improve itself and I'll somehow get a job and move out. Besides making pennies a day on prolific I don't have any income.
It just sucks. I did everything right and nobody seems to care. I feel like blowing my brains out because at least then maybe someone would care about me. At least someone would examine my story and prevent it from happening to others. But either way that's why I'm posting on here, I feel like I've lost control of my life and don't have any options anymore.
