attackingvertical
Member
- Oct 20, 2025
- 26
I got hired recently at a new job in a bakery. My roommate works there as a baker and helped me get the job. I've worked not even fourteen days over the span of a month and a half. I worked my first couple days, and then left for christmas break. The local uni goes on break, and since students are their main customers, there's no hours basically and the manager was fine with me going. However, this did hurt my training.
I haven't really had much training at all. Mostly computer based training and one day + a couple hours of someone actually showing me what to do and how to do it. I work as a clerk, so I pack bread and pastries out, pull stock from the freezers and put them out, bake cookies and pack them out, and take cake orders. I have no idea what I'm doing most the time and I keep struggling to finish my tasks on time. I keep having to ask people questions all the time and I still manage to mess things up. I've never been this bad at a job before.
I feel like I'm dragging everyone else down whenever I work. Sometimes I'm tempted to just text the manager and tell her I'm not coming in anymore. Everytime I'm there I'm so horribly anxious and sad. I keep thinking: this is it. I've been struggling and failing for so long to get a degree. I'll never get my dream career, and I'll be stuck working customer service and being miserable forever. It makes me want to die.
Honestly though, I'm not even sure if I want to die, or I just want to escape my current life. I moreso want to sleep forever. I've been under constant stress since august last year due to varying reasons (job struggles, moving, roommate issues, electrical bill battle), and I don't know how much more I can take. Whenever I'm at work I just wanna pick up the bread knife and cut myself. I feel so pathetic. Everyone else around me can handle working just fine, but i get so anxious over every little thing. My meds arent doing anything.
I haven't really had much training at all. Mostly computer based training and one day + a couple hours of someone actually showing me what to do and how to do it. I work as a clerk, so I pack bread and pastries out, pull stock from the freezers and put them out, bake cookies and pack them out, and take cake orders. I have no idea what I'm doing most the time and I keep struggling to finish my tasks on time. I keep having to ask people questions all the time and I still manage to mess things up. I've never been this bad at a job before.
I feel like I'm dragging everyone else down whenever I work. Sometimes I'm tempted to just text the manager and tell her I'm not coming in anymore. Everytime I'm there I'm so horribly anxious and sad. I keep thinking: this is it. I've been struggling and failing for so long to get a degree. I'll never get my dream career, and I'll be stuck working customer service and being miserable forever. It makes me want to die.
Honestly though, I'm not even sure if I want to die, or I just want to escape my current life. I moreso want to sleep forever. I've been under constant stress since august last year due to varying reasons (job struggles, moving, roommate issues, electrical bill battle), and I don't know how much more I can take. Whenever I'm at work I just wanna pick up the bread knife and cut myself. I feel so pathetic. Everyone else around me can handle working just fine, but i get so anxious over every little thing. My meds arent doing anything.
