NSFW i think my fetish is gonna ruin my life

[theRapDiablo]

title pretty much explains it, i got this weird kink for fattening someone until they are completely reliant on me, completely destroying their lives until they eventually die. or someone doing that to me. i guess it's a weird version of something called feedism, or feederism. i've gone through ups and downs with it but recently it's been dominating my daily thoughts, and i'm become legitimately scared of devolving into some psychotic freak killer. don't know what to do, pretty sure i am not suicidal but i have been wondering if it would be better to off myself then submit to my fantasies. some of my close friends just think i'm into fat girls (which don't get me wrong i totally am), but they have no clue how deep the rabbit hole truly goes. just looking for some advice. should i try to enjoy it in moderation/responsibly? in which case i'd have to somehow find a girl whose already into that (feels impossible) or convince an otherwise normal girl to gain weight for me (feels awful to pressure another human into altering their body for my sexual gain, total objectification). or should i just try to shut it out completely? any advice appreciated. :)

 

[cryone]

hm. while my response isn't formulated on any evidence or anything, I would advise shutting down your fetish. I definitely object to convincing a girl to become obese for you. For the other scenario...even if you found a girl who was into that, i feel like it's a bad idea to foster their weight gain to a point where they can't function without your help.

i also have concerns for long term consequences. If the kink becomes less and less appealing to u over time (which is not a small possibility) and you have a gf who cannot operate basic functions w/o u, its game over.

the other possibility is that your gf stops wanting to be obese...if that happens, it would be immensely difficult for her to become healthy again.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I want to respond without sounding really judgemental. So, initially, I want to say I believe we can't exactly help what we're in to. So- I don't think you should feel guilty about the thoughts themselves. They are just thoughts at the moment.

That said, this behaviour would be hurting soneone else. It is a form of abuse in a way if you are getting a sense of pleasure out of deliberately and purposefully incapacitating someone. They will very likely suffer morbid obesity related illnesses too which would be horrible for them.

If I'm honest, I can't see how you could work around this fetish without causing harm to another. Even if the woman became morbidly obese by her own choosing, you would encourage and want to keep her like that, no matter what she wanted presumably? None of us can promise to be a certain way forever. She might get to a point where doctors tell her she needs to lose weight. She may want to do it for herself.

Do you suppose it's the idea of someone being totally reliant on you that you enjoy? Or, it it more a fat fetish? Maybe you need to explore what it is that attracts you to the idea. It's hard to say if you could indulge in it safely without hurting soneone else though.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

I want to respond without sounding really judgemental. So, initially, I want to say I believe we can't exactly help what we're in to. So- I don't think you should feel guilty about the thoughts themselves. They are just thoughts at the moment.

That said, this behaviour would be hurting soneone else. It is a form of abuse in a way if you are getting a sense of pleasure out of deliberately and purposefully incapacitating someone. They will very likely suffer morbid obesity related illnesses too which would be horrible for them.

If I'm honest, I can't see how you could work around this fetish without causing harm to another. Even if the woman became morbidly obese by her own choosing, you would encourage and want to keep her like that, no matter what she wanted presumably? None of us can promise to be a certain way forever. She might get to a point where doctors tell her she needs to lose weight. She may want to do it for herself.

Do you suppose it's the idea of someone being totally reliant on you that you enjoy? Or, it it more a fat fetish? Maybe you need to explore what it is that attracts you to the idea. It's hard to say if you could indulge in it safely without hurting soneone else though.

This + talk to a doctor/psychiatrist, maybe a sex therapist if you think you are at risk of hurting yourself or others

You don't have to disclose any of your activity here of course!

 

[mortuarymary]

So basically you're a feeder?

 

[theRapDiablo]

I want to respond without sounding really judgemental. So, initially, I want to say I believe we can't exactly help what we're in to. So- I don't think you should feel guilty about the thoughts themselves. They are just thoughts at the moment.

That said, this behaviour would be hurting soneone else. It is a form of abuse in a way if you are getting a sense of pleasure out of deliberately and purposefully incapacitating someone. They will very likely suffer morbid obesity related illnesses too which would be horrible for them.

If I'm honest, I can't see how you could work around this fetish without causing harm to another. Even if the woman became morbidly obese by her own choosing, you would encourage and want to keep her like that, no matter what she wanted presumably? None of us can promise to be a certain way forever. She might get to a point where doctors tell her she needs to lose weight. She may want to do it for herself.

Do you suppose it's the idea of someone being totally reliant on you that you enjoy? Or, it it more a fat fetish? Maybe you need to explore what it is that attracts you to the idea. It's hard to say if you could indulge in it safely without hurting soneone else though.

i think it's definitely more of a fat fetish. the idea of a girl gaining any amount of weight is a huge turn on to me, but the reliance/obesity stuff seems like the sort of "ultimate fantasy" (which is obviously terrible, but i can't deny how i feel). i am pretty ashamed of it.

So basically you're a feeder?

i guess so.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

the reliance/obesity stuff seems like the sort of "ultimate fantasy" (which is obviously terrible, but i can't deny how i feel). i am pretty ashamed of it.

I was historically involved in kink communities in varying degrees, so my view is perhaps a little different. Feedism is one of those fetishes that is particularly controversial and little understood by those outside of it. As a woman who used to be very large (and I'm still a bit overweight now), my experiences ended up overlapping with this particular community.

There's a term for the specific desire you have described. It's called death feedism and the overwhelming majority of the time, it's a fantasy for people who are into it. Only a miniscule minority of people in the feedism community endeavour to do it in real life (due to ethical, health and practical reasons). Most of them roleplay and find alternative ways of satisfying this fantasy.

Just like how people who are into Consensual Non-Consent - for example - aren't all closet perpetrators, people into death feedism aren't all secretly potential murderers.

My experience is that for many, the appeal is not truly death itself. It is the taboo aspect of this kink, and the idea of taking that irreversible step - becoming so uncontrollably big that there's no going back. Another common theme is perceiving it as the ultimate act of indulgence and letting go. Personally, it's not my thing at all. As a chronically ill and disabled person, I simply cannot find immobility erotic. However, being in some kink communities has helped me to understand it better.

There may be healthy, fulfilling ways of exploring this kink without actually enacting it, and I'm sure you'd find some understanding if you joined an online feedism community and shared your feelings. Having this fetish doesn't make you some sort of dangerous killer. The fat fetish community is diverse and there's a lot of potential, non-harmful and mutually consensual outlets if this is a significant kink for you.

 

[theRapDiablo]

I was historically involved in kink communities in varying degrees, so my view is perhaps a little different. Feedism is one of those fetishes that is particularly controversial and little understood by those outside of it. As a woman who used to be very large (and I'm still a bit overweight now), my experiences ended up overlapping with this particular community.

There's a term for the specific desire you have described. It's called death feedism and the overwhelming majority of the time, it's a fantasy for people who are into it. Only a miniscule minority of people in the feedism community endeavour to do it in real life (due to ethical, health and practical reasons). Most of them roleplay and find alternative ways of satisfying this fantasy.

Just like how people who are into Consensual Non-Consent - for example - aren't all closet perpetrators, people into death feedism aren't all secretly potential murderers.

My experience is that for many, the appeal is not truly death itself. It is the taboo aspect of this kink, and the idea of taking that irreversible step - becoming so uncontrollably big that there's no going back. Another common theme is perceiving it as the ultimate act of indulgence and letting go. Personally, it's not my thing at all. As a chronically ill and disabled person, I simply cannot find immobility erotic. However, being in some kink communities has helped me to understand it better.

There may be healthy, fulfilling ways of exploring this kink without actually enacting it, and I'm sure you'd find some understanding if you joined an online feedism community and shared your feelings. Having this fetish doesn't make you some sort of dangerous killer. The fat fetish community is diverse and there's a lot of potential, non-harmful and mutually consensual outlets if this is a significant kink for you.

thank you for such a well-written reply. maybe i'll look into these online communities, but i can't lie even knowing that it's still something that i feel pretty ashamed of. i really can't imagine myself indulging in it, even in a safe manner, without being totally embarrassed by my friends and family. plus, it makes me feel like i'm objectifying my partner by being sexually attracted to her weight rather than herself. it's a lose-lose, at least in my head.

 

[LikeAPendulum]

before internet
want to fuck toasters
grow out of fetish and moves on with life

after internet
want to fuck toasters
find toaster fucking community
ruin life

Seriously though, it seems that most people agree that when your fetish involves you projecting some life-altering effect on another human being, it's not a healthy fetish to continue having.

 

[theRapDiablo]

before internet
want to fuck toasters
grow out of fetish and moves on with life

after internet
want to fuck toasters
find toaster fucking community
ruin life

Seriously though, it seems that most people agree that when your fetish involves you projecting some life-altering effect on another human being, it's not a healthy fetish to continue having.

any advice on how to get rid of it? or am i just going to have to live with these desires and shut out any opportunity to act on them (speaking of the internet here). growing out of it seems impossible at this point. i've jerked off to so much fucked up shit that sometimes when i get a blowjob i have to imagine the girl on me getting fatter to stay hard. it doesn't feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel if i just go cold turkey.

 

[Downdraft]

Having a kink isn't bad, acting on it is. You can't control being into something and it's not your fault, don't involve anyone real and you'll be fine. Most kinks can't be cured, you have to overcome your guilt and understand it's not your fault to just feel.

 

[DarkRange55]

Probably just enjoy it responsibly in moderation with the right partner that enjoys it. There are plenty of woman that enjoy that, especially in America…
Fetishes by definition are obsessions. Nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people have them, not fetishist will be open about them.
To each, their own. I think responsible exploration is healthy.