M
MeOP
New Member
- Oct 31, 2020
- 4
I've been saying for a long time that there's certain freedom in not having hope.
Evolution however does not exactly support this notion. Survive at any cost...
Whenever I thought I have no hope left, unfortunately there has always been the last little bit in the back of my head, somewhere. Just annoying me and waiting to strike and turn into more pain.
Again and again.
Finally. I'm free.
For a while I've only been living for one thing. Only today I learned how close I was to achieving my goal. A finger's reach. Just close my eyes and push a tiniest bit further.
But no, of course that can't be. I had to fuck it up. Again.
I still care. But now I'm also free. Living is way too hard. Unbelievably hard. Especially with a life like mine.
I don't know if suicide is easy. But I know death can't be worse.
Technically speaking I still have a tiniest sliver of chance. But I'm not holding my breath anymore. I'm free.
Wish me strength guys. No date set but I hope I'll get to it soon. Let's see if there's something I manage not to fuck up.
Evolution however does not exactly support this notion. Survive at any cost...
Whenever I thought I have no hope left, unfortunately there has always been the last little bit in the back of my head, somewhere. Just annoying me and waiting to strike and turn into more pain.
Again and again.
Finally. I'm free.
For a while I've only been living for one thing. Only today I learned how close I was to achieving my goal. A finger's reach. Just close my eyes and push a tiniest bit further.
But no, of course that can't be. I had to fuck it up. Again.
I still care. But now I'm also free. Living is way too hard. Unbelievably hard. Especially with a life like mine.
I don't know if suicide is easy. But I know death can't be worse.
Technically speaking I still have a tiniest sliver of chance. But I'm not holding my breath anymore. I'm free.
Wish me strength guys. No date set but I hope I'll get to it soon. Let's see if there's something I manage not to fuck up.