M

metasticmind

Member
May 4, 2024
17
my partner, really ex partner but it hurts too much to say that, has started seeing other people. she keeps telling me that they're just distractions and she doesn't actually like them but idk how i can believe that when she's spending so much time with them. after that revelation, my appetite completely died, like completely. it's always happened when i encounter heartbreak, but this time my stomach doesn't even hurt or anything even though i haven't eaten for almost 2 whole days. it's weird, but it's also made me realise that it's probably a type of self harm if i kept it up. one of the issues that cropped up a lot between my partner and i was my self harm. our house is too small, so if it ever got too much and i tried to self harm, she would definitely see it. i didn't have any other private spaces to do it. it took a huge toll on her to see it so visibly and i was trying my best to suppress those desires. but now im realising i can just starve myself instead to do it and it wouldn't bother them, they won't even know.

i posted about this on a subreddit about self-harm and it got removed for apparently glorifying sh. i'm not trying to glorify it though. i just feel like i've found a workaround to a difficult situation. has anyone ever experienced something similar with having no private spaces to sh and needing to get creative so no one finds out?
 
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