So, I've said this a couple times (but I'm also new, so this is only my third or fourth post)—I have to wait for my dog to die, or for his quality of life to deteriorate so much that it becomes time for me to help him cross the rainbow bridge before I can ctb. Today has been a really shitty day, and I really want this torture called life to just end already. A (small) part of me is wishing he will go ahead and die, so I can end things. I know I'm a shitty person for feeling that way. I would never do anything to hasten his end; in fact, six months ago I made sure he got a very expensive surgery because he had a condition that would have ended his life from kidney failure (a horrible way to die). I don't regret this decision for a minute, but I'm SO ready to just end things already…
You are suffering but that doesn't make you a shitty person
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,660
It doesn't make you a bad person, you sound like you really care about your dog but when we are suffering we just want to escape it. There is only so much pain we can deal with.
You are a VERY warm and loving person, crappy?? HELL NO! Just look how you wrote your post, filled with love and compassion for your dog. YOU ARE part of a select group of humans on this rock called Earth that is such a wonderful and loving person. I am sorry but I can not get over the fact that YOU are so, so special with your loving thoughtfulness and wanting the best for your dog. This is the 1st time in almost a month that I am crying writing this as it just made my day as far as I am so, so privileged to have you as a family member on here. I am sending you all my love, caring, empathy and wishes for a great upcoming weekend filled with beautiful sunny skies and cool breezes flowing over you. Walter
newave3
I want out
- Nov 21, 2020
- 2,781
In my book, an animal lover like yourself could never be considered shitty.
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Then why, WHY has my life been one excruciating moment after another? You know, if I were asked to come up with a happy memory that does not have anything to do with my dog, I wouldn't be able to. Even the typical ones, like the births of my kids, have been sullied…
(This is somewhat of a rhetorical question…I don't expect anyone here to have an answer to it.)
You've been dealt a bad hand. Your shitty life is not your fault. Sometimes good people suffer for no reason. Life isn't fair.
I have come to understand that the concept of fairness is a social construct…fairness doesn't exist; it's an idea that people like me cling to out of hopes that one day things will get better. I don't think they do/will.
