I think im going to try it today/Tomorrow

[_Minsk]

I haven't sleep much the past months and im getting worse each day. I take a lot of anxiety and sleep meds lately but I still cant sleep.
I will try to ctb today or tomorrow. I got some benzos, meto, vodka and some herbal downers.
I will try to drown in a lake. Once I took all meds and drunk as much as I can, I will go into the lake. Its a very rural place with no people around.
I will go as far into the lake as I can but I will make sure that my chin is still above water surface so I can still breathe.
I will carry all things in a backpack, which I later will use for weights.
I hope I will pass out but I believe it will take a while till im gone enough to drown.

I dont have access to sn sadly so I will stick to this plan. I might post here some updates once im there

 

[whywere]

I understand where you are coming from, but always around if you decide differently.

Walter

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that life brought you to this point. I wish you all the best with your plan and I hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[canibesaved]

i hope all went well and if you're still here we can talk

 

[why am i alive?]

I hope u can find peace somehow.

 

[http-410]

I hope you are ok wherever you are. If you are still with us, don't be afraid to tell us what happened and how you are doing...

 

[_Minsk]

thanks everyone for commenting, sorry for not having given any updates. I did head to a friend to give them my remaining belongings but during traveling I felt so crappy and exhausted that I decided to postpone. Now I dont feel that impulsively anymore. I will wait a bit till feel more impulsively again and ship the belongings so I have more energy for the ctb part. Sorry, I feel like a fraud.

 

[http-410]

Although I understand where you are coming from, there is no need to feel like a fraud. Aborting or postponing an attempt (for whatever reason) happens to many of us, and is alright. Thanks for the update.

 

[chinadoll]

I hope you find another way. You do still have options and hope you find solace in life.

 

[amb.boardman]

thanks everyone for commenting, sorry for not having given any updates. I did head to a friend to give them my remaining belongings but during traveling I felt so crappy and exhausted that I decided to postpone. Now I dont feel that impulsively anymore. I will wait a bit till feel more impulsively again and ship the belongings so I have more energy for the ctb part. Sorry, I feel like a fraud.

You are not a fraud, its ok its a hard thing to do