Story I think im going to kill myself

[tuesdayyousay]

Im kind of done with living. I've been in and out of psych wards, in and out of my my parents homes. Im 18 i have nothing no ambitions no dreams im just an addict so i dont know if i want to keep on living Its too much work to keep on going, im homeless everyone is disappointed in me, i lost my job, i dont have a diploma or a degree. Im in the psych ward ive been here for 6 weeks i dont want to continue on, i cant find an apartment because of the housing crisis i have no where to go. I have no income. No family no friends no acquaintances, im alone in this, im alone in life. Im a thief and a liar. Im a horrible person. I want to find a painless way to die. A peaceful death.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

Hey there.

Your situation seems bad indeed.

However, you're still very young. I would recommend sticking around for a while, it might get better and you won't get suicidal thoughts anymore. Your life could turn around with some effort and help.

It's ok to have no ambitions, some people just live and enjoy living without having any ambitions.
I hope that you can reconnect with your parents, maybe they could offer some help and a place to stay. You need some time to recover.
It's never too late to get a degree.

 

[sos]

you "think" that you're going to kill yourself
but you also "want" to find a painless way to die
i don't think that you're quite there yet as to whether you actually wanna ctb or not

sure, your situation seems to suck but there's always a way out of it

do they have any plans for you in the psych ward? anything to offer you help in some kind of way?

 

[tuesdayyousay]

you "think" that you're going to kill yourself
but you also "want" to find a painless way to die
i don't think that you're quite there yet as to whether you actually wanna ctb or not

sure, your situation seems to suck but there's always a way out of it

do they have any plans for you in the psych ward? anything to offer you help in some kind of way?

I've felt enough pain in my life to want a painless death. I want my last moments to be peaceful, to let go, and let god.

 

[Cheksome]

I feel exactly like you do, even though I still have some of these things (for now)
I've spent weeks just crying on the internet begging for sympathy, and as pathetic as it is it's kept me going in some way
I don't think it's over for you. I attempted suicide on my 20th birthday and ended up spending the rest of the day in the psych ward, and I might spend more days there in the end too. But I want to try some things before I let go, and the premise of letting go has been a lot less out of reach which has ironically helped me do things since (like getting my driver's license, since dying isn't as much of a worry)
I don't know if you want help exactly but I'm here for you if you want to talk regardless. Hope it gets better

 

[Evelyn Lane]

I'm not like the others. I believe your body, your choice. I won't stop you. You'd be surprised how many people get suicidal thoughts before even hitting puberty. Hey, advising suicide methods is not allowed here, but if you need someone that you want to talk to, I'm here for you. Just hit me up when you're able to chat and I'll make you feel welcome. Good day to you :)