I think I’m going to be alone forever because I’m the ugly fat girl.. are there any men who could ever love me?

[protector_iorek]

Why does everyone hate me? I'll never find love I realized.. I'll never have a boyfriend or husband. I'll never be held. I'll probably never have any sexual experiences again.. I'm going to be alone forever. I'm 34 and single and this is it for me. I'm ugly and fat and I know that's why. I've lost tons of weight before but I always gain it back. I've lost 100lbs twice in my life and gained it back TWICE.. I even ran 2 marathons.. My therapist dx'ed me with BED..

It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter what diets I do (I've done them all). I've heard all the advice. I've dieted to the ends of earth and back. I know the calories in everything. I'm tired of fucking diet advice. I'm tired of keto this keto that. I'm tired of being recommended fucking WLS. I don't want any of this crap. Dieting is a trap to just gain the weight right back in 5 years or less. If I get one more piece of "advice" or "I lost XYZ pounds by doing XYZ" I'm going to freak the fuck out.

I'm just tired. I'm just this way. And when I try not to be this way I can be successful for a bit but not forever. I've been fat since I was a child. It's like I was born cursed, born to suffer, born to be a punching bag. I just wish I could stop. I wanna get off this train. I just wanna be accepted for me.

Why does my whole life have to revolve around how I look? This is all I boil down to when people see me. I'm just a bag of flesh. Just FAT. It's like I have no personality, no brain, no soul. I don't even exist to people. People see people like me and just pretend I don't exist because they don't want me to exist. They want me dead. You want me dead. You just don't know it but you do. With the ingrained biases drilled into you against fat people, especially fat women. You all hate me.

I really want to end it. I can't live in this body anymore. Any body actually. Because no matter what body I live in I'll always just be exactly that: a body. Nothing more. I hate being a woman. A body is all the worth I seem to have.

I wish I wasn't such a piece of shit and had the courage to just end it.

You always see bigger guys with a beautiful girl.. You never see a big girl with a gorgeous guy. I know men hate me. But I love big men, I love fat men. But they don't love me.. no one will have me.

I'm so angry. I hate being alive. I just don't want to exist anymore. I wish I'd get hit by a bus or shot somehow. I know I have everything it takes to have a relationship, it's just that I know NO ONE will ever love me or want me because of this body. All I'll ever be is a fetish to somebody or a waste of space. And that's all.

I'm really spiraling rn.. I can't do this. I just can't.. I hate society too much to live in it. I don't belong. I'm too ugly. I'm tired. I can't take the pain anymore.. I'm gonna go self harm or something..

 

[zixd]

hey .. take it easy , i get yr pain and how society shapes it , i was fat too but i accepted myself cause i couldnt do anythint about it , i wish i can help ..

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

it fucking hurts being fat and i completly relate to your hate towards society. Love will find you in a one way or another one thing u can take as a postive from it u are scaring away people who only look for a quickie or who only care about looks. U will find someone who will love you for who u really are, im one of the people who dont give a fuck about it and my existance only proves that they are more people like me. Good things will come your way im sure and dont try to change yourself for aprove of other. Much love

 

[felloffmydinosaur]

I'm 35 ugly, fat and stupid. I'm married. But never thought I would be.

How big are we talking? Because you may perceive yourself worse than anyone else does.

 

[Sn0wy0wl]

I'm 35 lost my job two days ago and registered on this forum.
So we have different problems.
Self worth comes from different types of validation. Not everyone validates through looks and relationships.
How about success in some other fields? Can you focus on your career? Anything else?

 

[lowres]

Meeting people can be really challenging, being lonely is a tough issue to have and its a big struggle to make meaningful relationships. I can't offer too much advice on how to get into meeting people as that is stuff that I'm also trying to figure out lol. anecdotally i've seen quite a few of sculpted dudes with chubby girls, I wouldn't say its common but its certainly not impossible. I myself am a chubby guy with a chubby gf and I find her very beautiful. There are certainly others like me out there wishing they could find a beautiful woman they can be fat with lol.

I know its not really much but I am certain that you can be loved and there are one hundo percent people who fw your body type.

Calorie counting limited diets are not sustainable in my opinion, unless ur like a guy who wants to get all oiled up on a stage and flex and its like ur job or some shit. Self control is good but finding balance in what you eat is key imo, I often eat some not great meals, but mostly avoiding sugary treats has helped me maintain my current weight for the last few years, everyone is different, a huge variety of changes can affect everyone differently, could be thyroid shit, finding that key can help at least maintain ones body.

I find myself getting more confident despite still having a big gut the more I work out and improve my physical capability, also just dressing in nice clothes and carving out my own style has helped for my confidence, I'm into weird shit so it was pretty scary dressing the way i wanted at first.

I'm still very insecure about my body but my point is that ev

My perspective and experience is also different as a man, my gf has told me about difficulties she faced socially growing up and being obese and its an incredible challenge, despite that shes made it through, she still struggles with body image but its been getting better with time.

I hope im not just yapping 2 much abt my own shit, im kinda rambling. I'm just hoping to give you another perspective from someone who is also fat and has struggled with loving themselves and finding love.

Even without body image issues finding meaningful connections is hard, its an uphill battle but developing yourself emotionally and putting urself into circles that you might meet people are worthwhile.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Why does everyone hate me? I'll never find love I realized.. I'll never have a boyfriend or husband. I'll never be held. I'll probably never have any sexual experiences again.. I'm going to be alone forever. I'm 34 and single and this is it for me. I'm ugly and fat and I know that's why. I've lost tons of weight before but I always gain it back. I've lost 100lbs twice in my life and gained it back TWICE.. I even ran 2 marathons.. My therapist dx'ed me with BED..

It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter what diets I do (I've done them all). I've heard all the advice. I've dieted to the ends of earth and back. I know the calories in everything. I'm tired of fucking diet advice. I'm tired of keto this keto that. I'm tired of being recommended fucking WLS. I don't want any of this crap. Dieting is a trap to just gain the weight right back in 5 years or less. If I get one more piece of "advice" or "I lost XYZ pounds by doing XYZ" I'm going to freak the fuck out.

I'm just tired. I'm just this way. And when I try not to be this way I can be successful for a bit but not forever. I've been fat since I was a child. It's like I was born cursed, born to suffer, born to be a punching bag. I just wish I could stop. I wanna get off this train. I just wanna be accepted for me.

Why does my whole life have to revolve around how I look? This is all I boil down to when people see me. I'm just a bag of flesh. Just FAT. It's like I have no personality, no brain, no soul. I don't even exist to people. People see people like me and just pretend I don't exist because they don't want me to exist. They want me dead. You want me dead. You just don't know it but you do. With the ingrained biases drilled into you against fat people, especially fat women. You all hate me.

I really want to end it. I can't live in this body anymore. Any body actually. Because no matter what body I live in I'll always just be exactly that: a body. Nothing more. I hate being a woman. A body is all the worth I seem to have.

I wish I wasn't such a piece of shit and had the courage to just end it.

You always see bigger guys with a beautiful girl.. You never see a big girl with a gorgeous guy. I know men hate me. But I love big men, I love fat men. But they don't love me.. no one will have me.

I'm so angry. I hate being alive. I just don't want to exist anymore. I wish I'd get hit by a bus or shot somehow. I know I have everything it takes to have a relationship, it's just that I know NO ONE will ever love me or want me because of this body. All I'll ever be is a fetish to somebody or a waste of space. And that's all.

I'm really spiraling rn.. I can't do this. I just can't.. I hate society too much to live in it. I don't belong. I'm too ugly. I'm tired. I can't take the pain anymore.. I'm gonna go self harm or something..

Besides therapy, have you gotten actual help from a psychologist/psychiatrist for your disorder? BED is just as bad as AN, they are two sides of the same coin. It's a disorder, and deserves to be treated with the love and support any other eating disorder would. I hope you're able to ease your pain.

 

[outrider567]

Why does everyone hate me? I'll never find love I realized.. I'll never have a boyfriend or husband. I'll never be held. I'll probably never have any sexual experiences again.. I'm going to be alone forever. I'm 34 and single and this is it for me. I'm ugly and fat and I know that's why. I've lost tons of weight before but I always gain it back. I've lost 100lbs twice in my life and gained it back TWICE.. I even ran 2 marathons.. My therapist dx'ed me with BED..

It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter what diets I do (I've done them all). I've heard all the advice. I've dieted to the ends of earth and back. I know the calories in everything. I'm tired of fucking diet advice. I'm tired of keto this keto that. I'm tired of being recommended fucking WLS. I don't want any of this crap. Dieting is a trap to just gain the weight right back in 5 years or less. If I get one more piece of "advice" or "I lost XYZ pounds by doing XYZ" I'm going to freak the fuck out.

I'm just tired. I'm just this way. And when I try not to be this way I can be successful for a bit but not forever. I've been fat since I was a child. It's like I was born cursed, born to suffer, born to be a punching bag. I just wish I could stop. I wanna get off this train. I just wanna be accepted for me.

Why does my whole life have to revolve around how I look? This is all I boil down to when people see me. I'm just a bag of flesh. Just FAT. It's like I have no personality, no brain, no soul. I don't even exist to people. People see people like me and just pretend I don't exist because they don't want me to exist. They want me dead. You want me dead. You just don't know it but you do. With the ingrained biases drilled into you against fat people, especially fat women. You all hate me.

I really want to end it. I can't live in this body anymore. Any body actually. Because no matter what body I live in I'll always just be exactly that: a body. Nothing more. I hate being a woman. A body is all the worth I seem to have.

I wish I wasn't such a piece of shit and had the courage to just end it.

You always see bigger guys with a beautiful girl.. You never see a big girl with a gorgeous guy. I know men hate me. But I love big men, I love fat men. But they don't love me.. no one will have me.

I'm so angry. I hate being alive. I just don't want to exist anymore. I wish I'd get hit by a bus or shot somehow. I know I have everything it takes to have a relationship, it's just that I know NO ONE will ever love me or want me because of this body. All I'll ever be is a fetish to somebody or a waste of space. And that's all.

I'm really spiraling rn.. I can't do this. I just can't.. I hate society too much to live in it. I don't belong. I'm too ugly. I'm tired. I can't take the pain anymore.. I'm gonna go self harm or something..

Well, that's not true that all men only like thin women, most of my girlfriends were well overweight, some near 200 lbs, and i've always been pretty thin myself, and anyway the fact that you lost a lot of weight twice before shows that you do possess plenty of willpower to better yourself

 

[endlessmelancholy]

I'm 32 m. I had lost 55 kgs but I 20 kgs back. I know people judge us by the way we look. I experience it. I hope you find happiness beyond your physical appearance.

 

[Dejected 55]

I can honestly say that when I was younger and in very good shape, women didn't like me any more than they like me now old and overweight. I've been attracted to women of all shapes,sizes, and colors. I can't deny physical appearance plays a part, but it really is so much more than that for me. If I like someone, I like her body. If I don't like her, it doesn't matter what kind of body she has.

And, as I said, in my experience it's not like women wanted me when I was in shape and stopped when I fell out... they just never want me, period. I don't know if that helps, but it is truth.

 

[Hotsackage]

Im bigger to, but that doesn't define the person you are. I know that sounds cliche, but don't let society define who you are as a person, im sure there's someone out there for you.

 

[protector_iorek]

I'm 35 ugly, fat and stupid. I'm married. But never thought I would be.

How big are we talking? Because you may perceive yourself worse than anyone else does.

I find that beautiful.. I just wish I could meet someone who loves me for me, and who I AM. Not just superficiality.. I feel like as a society we are getting more and more shallow. Everything is about money when it comes to men; and everything is about looks or "beauty" when it comes to women. I'm genuinely sick of this boring ass shit! Idgaf what someone looks like, but if I have an easy flowing intelligent conversation with them, we understand each other, there's natural chemistry and warmth? I fuck with that shit. I just feel like no one cares about that anymore.. it's all about "who's the richest guy I can pull to have status" or "who's the hottest girl I can pull to have status" .. it's just genuinely depressing.

Anyway, I'll be honest I don't know how much I weigh rn. I guess I don't care and I realized the scale has never been a long term solution for me to any of my problems. But I'm definitely over 300. Actually fat not just "chubby cute fat"

I'm 35 lost my job two days ago and registered on this forum.
So we have different problems.
Self worth comes from different types of validation. Not everyone validates through looks and relationships.
How about success in some other fields? Can you focus on your career? Anything else?

Thank you.. I'm sorry to hear about your job. I got fired once and it was devastating, it took me 2+ years to stop thinking about it everyday. How are you coping?

I feel like I have a lot of success in other areas.. I'm highly educated, I guess that's a success? And I wouldn't say I'm financially thriving but I'm pursuing something I love and putting my all into it everyday..

But I still have this emptiness, this gnawing loneliness.. no matter how much success or distraction I find in work or other things, I come home to no one and nothing. I don't have anyone to share my life with.. It's gotten so hard to cope with that.

Besides therapy, have you gotten actual help from a psychologist/psychiatrist for your disorder? BED is just as bad as AN, they are two sides of the same coin. It's a disorder, and deserves to be treated with the love and support any other eating disorder would. I hope you're able to ease your pain.

Thank you so much.. my therapist is an eating disorder specialist, but other than that I don't have a psychiatrist or psychologist. Unfortunately I can't afford one. I'm on a sliding scale for my therapist so I can afford that, but anything more would be a little difficult for me financially. I'm pushing hard to pay off some debt and keep growing my small savings account.. maybe I'll be able to afford a psychiatrist in the future. I really want more help but it's hard financially.

Well, that's not true that all men only like thin women, most of my girlfriends were well overweight, some near 200 lbs, and i've always been pretty thin myself, and anyway the fact that you lost a lot of weight twice before shows that you do possess plenty of willpower to better yourself

Why does being thinner = bettering myself? That attitude is the entire problem I'm talking about. What makes me worth more or less than you or anyone else?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Why does being thinner = bettering myself? That attitude is the entire problem I'm talking about. What makes me worth more or less than you or anyone else?

People can deny it all they want, but fatphobia is a real phenomenon that we should be fighting against.

With that out of the way, being fat doesn't make you ugly or lesser than. There are plenty of cute and iconic fat women (and just fat people in general) out there. There are also plenty of fat people in happy and loving relationships. Despite the narrative that society likes to push, that only men with fat fetishes like fat women, that is far from the case. My mother's friend is fat and she is in a loving relationship. Jessica Blair, who is known for her videos that often revolve around styling outfits, is both incredibly beautiful and in a happy relationship.

 

[protector_iorek]

Im bigger to, but that doesn't define the person you are. I know that sounds cliche, but don't let society define who you are as a person, im sure there's someone out there for you.

Thank you so much.. I needed to hear this.

 

[bankai]

Hopefully you'll be fine and find someone who loves you like you deserve. Looks always fade with time. But kindness and caring from our partners will see us through till the end of time.

 

[felloffmydinosaur]

I do not think losing weight equals bettering yourself, and I do think there are men out there who like heavier women. Not just as a fetish, just as a preference. I do know people who genuinely don't care, and have seen date obese women and also thin women. There may be dating apps for that, I don't know. I think it's usually just chance. I think a lot of people find personality more important. You seem nice enough, if you're not constantly self deprecating in front of others, that is a turn off. Then there probably shouldn't be a reason you can't find someone. You also may not actually be ugly either. Even if you are, I know plenty of not conventionally attractive people who are married. Albeit most have had a harder time finding someone.

Also, I'm jealous of you for having ambitions. I'm 35 and feel like I've accomplished absolutely nothing. I have goals I wish I felt I were capable of doing, and working a career. I've just been a stay at home mom, foster parent, babysitter, and nothing else. I want to go to school and be a NICU nurse. So on the opposite coin, I'm very glad that you have enough self confidence to do these things. Especially if you're doing something you like. So kudos there.

Hopefully you'll be fine and find someone who loves you like you deserve. Looks always fade with time. But kindness and caring from our partners will see us through till the end of time.

This is what I always say. Even now, in my 30's, plenty of the people I had crushes on or thought were beautiful in elementary through high school, are genuinely not attractive anymore. I've also seen vice versa as well. But the people who grew up attractive don't seem to be as nice towards others. People I know who had to work for friendships, because they were judged by their appearance, are generally much more fun to be around.

 

[Redacted24]

I can't add much to the wisdom and kindness others have offered here. I'm just an average guy, nothing special. But I agree that anyone that dismisses you on looks ... isn't worth an iota of your time.

You are what you believe yourself to be.
You radiate that to others. They pick up on that and that's the sense they take away.

I've been told I'm a horrible human being. An embarrassment. A truly evil person. This by immediate family. But I try to be kind and caring, and think of myself that way. And for some reason, I seem to be the one in my office that people come to when they're struggling or worried. They come to the guy that's browsing for suicide supplies on a Sunday afternoon!

I guess what I'm suggesting is that you are more than you think you are. That temporary flesh house that you inhabit is just a place for you to be. But the you, the essence of you, is more than her.

Sorry for the rambling reply. But here's an anecdote - years ago I rode a motorcycle, it was my sole means of transport. I had a second helmet for a friend (another guy or a girlfriend).

I met a lady at work and got to know her over months. She was sweet and smart and funny. Had a terrific smile. So we went out a few times. We liked each other and were getting serious.

I bought a bigger motorcycle with more power so we could go riding in the mountains. She was a big girl and my old bike didn't have enough HP to carry us both.

Please believe in yourself. And when someone glances your way, don't be shy to glance back. He might be as nervous and afraid of rejection as I am, always...and too shy to make a move.

 

[bankai]

They come to the guy that's browsing for suicide supplies on a Sunday afternoon!

I can honestly relate so hard. Your not the only one

This is what I always say. Even now, in my 30's, plenty of the people I had crushes on or thought were beautiful in elementary through high school, are genuinely not attractive anymore. I've also seen vice versa as well. But the people who grew up attractive don't seem to be as nice towards others. People I know who had to work for friendships, because they were judged by their appearance, are generally much more fun to be around.

I remember recently reading about a cute quote of yours about something regarding a hamster and a Bunny. Or a mink and a Bunny?lol.that was awesome

That's some creative problem solving right there.

 

[kitkat9234]

I relate to so much of what you said. I'm so disgusting and obese. I can't stand going out in public because I'm so gross. I used to be fit and attractive but these meds have ruined me. I'm divorced and fucked up my marriage because I was selfish. Looking back it was the best thing to happen to me. Was in a relationship three years ago with an abusive alcoholic who literally drank himself to death. Now I'm alone and have no one. Will never have anyone ever again because I'm so ugly and overweight. I guess I just accepted that I will be alone for the rest of my life. It sucks. Hugs to you and everyone suffering.