i think im getting ready and ready, more and more

[_Minsk]

im dealing with life's hardships since too many years now, life hasn't been the same since so many years and i slowly start to don't give a damn anymore. the last few weeks i managed to get rid of most stuff like material things which i don't need anymore. i gave up on the idea of having a partner and a nice future in this life. it wouldn't even have worked out anyways since no one needs a depressed one like me, except maybe some rare people which i wont find anyways. i feel like the last couple of years have been some sort of slowly saying goodbye to this life. the only things left for me were basic cleaning up things like my rooms, starting to write notes to explain why i want to leave and such. there is still just a small amount of stuff i need to get done to not leave my work up to others when im gone. if im done with these things, i will be hopefully free, ready anytime, to pack my stuffs and go with my ctb plan whenever i feel to. i wish i could just go the next weekends, in case i will be no longer online for at least a month, i will have succeed my drowning method. im not sure if i will be able to write a goodbye message, but just in case i won't, thanks a lot to this loving community, each and everyone i have encountered here was loving and caring, i wish people irl would be that way. thanks for all the love and support you have been sharing, there is no other place where i have been feeling more accepted and loved like in here!
edit: sorry for all the delays in replying, not replying in threads, i'm just too depressed and dead inside. i will try to distract myself with some video games meanwhile, i have send a quit letter to my job place yesterday. will try to stick around for as long as i can, if i can write a final goodbye, i will

 

[death137]

You seem a very peaceful person. I read drowning is painful but I hope consciousness is lost after few seconds. If you don't post no more then bye and I wish you the best.

 

[Cherrypea]

Sounds like you are ready, wishing you peace x

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'll miss you when you're gone, _Minsk.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Depression is a vicious cycle sadly. The worse things get the less you push and this only allows things to keep slipping. It ends up feeling like life is slowly coming to a halt

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i hope you find peace.