kate_rd

kate_rd

Member
Mar 26, 2020
22
so im planning to ctb in 2 days (Saturday). I have tried to get SN but its just taking too long. on Saturday night (uk) Im going to leave, I will walk into the tide on the beach..probably drunk&high.. I read online it takes around 6 minutes to drown and with lockdown the beach should be pretty quiet (it'll probably be around 4am) so im hoping I don't get disturbed but I can go to 3 other beaches if anything goes wrong. I have done practically every therapy available, took all kinds of meds but nothing has worked. I think something has clicked this past week or so, I no longer feel guilty or scared..I just want this to be over already. I would do it sooner but its just not possible (without involving others and possibly causing them trauma too) until Saturday, I have to wait. Im scared of being found, with lockdown all it takes is police to drive past and they'll wonder why im out and stop me before I can leave this place. does anyone know if this method is reliable or if theres anything I can do to make sure it works?
thanks
 
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