Method I think I’ll CTB tonight with Bleach then hanging

[BrainSplatter]

I've taken some xanax ket crack an heroin I feel so calm now that im able to follow throug all I have to hand right now is a range of cleaning products bleach toilet gel and I've attached a picture for full suspension hanging is it. I used a hangman knot with a scarf I had. Angry at myself so I couldn't even hold on long enough to write my own Willl and will my my son the pain is too much. I know I want him planning to but I couldn't even do that. I'm selfish more selfish. I don't wanna be in pain anymore at the same time. I just feel so calm now especially now I've set up full suspension it hanging it seems so easy idk what's rappelling it's just I was trying to make everything easier for everyone else or .what about me what about me living in this torment? Every single day? I'm not gonna be alive to see these people suffer. I'm not gonna be alive to see these people in pain why should it matter so much? It doesn't

So my question is bleach is enough to keep what amount idc mines half empty

 

[timeisrunning]

Hey mate. I'm sorry you're experiencing so much pain.

 

[Sphinxi]

I would strongly consider if you want to die while on a cocktail of drugs

 

[U. A.]

Put away the bleach and abandon this plan. You're too fucked up for anything good to happen. Just chill out and rest.

 

[RunDown]

Hope you're doing alright. Sorry you're suffering so much. In my experience, making decisions, carrying out plans or actions while high on hard drugs never works out. I'm not sure what you're trying to do with the bleach but I can't imagine being necessary for anything. If you do ctb you deserve a painless dignified exit. Let's take a step back and regroup.

 

[asthedayends00]

I wonder what it felt like waking up

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

range of cleaning products bleach toilet gel

Okay, I'm actually so concerned that they created mustard gas...

 

[BrainSplatter]

q

I wonder what it felt like waking up

I woke up on the floor I put my head through the noose but I didn't tie it properly to the wooden beam obviously I was too high so it unravelled and I just dropped. 3 times it now and tested it with my weight it can hold me I've covered the windows with brown wrapping paper so no one can see in. it will definitely work ive adjusted the height of it so it's higher so I'm unable to save myself not that I'm planning to but yeah SI but yeah, I haven't done it. Why. I feel so ready. I cut my arm so much past muscle it need stitches maybe I'll pour bleach in them I keep getting that thought come in my mind anyway but I don't care. Maybe I'll die from the infection. I still feel in so much pain. Will appointments is around the 28th that feels like lifetime. I'm trying to do right by everyone else particularly my son it is so so painful. All I wanna do is just get as fucked up as possible when I'm high it somewhat dulls the pain but for another month I won't have even be here tomorrow.

I'm not taking any Xanax this time I've got one but I found so I'll probably just take that. Does everything look right about the way I've tied it? I don't wanna drop again. I've made sure how quick is it. People say it takes half an hour. I don't even know why I'm contemplating that anymore because I already said you know once it's over it won't take long. It'll be very very quick and easy and now I've come back to that.

I've given away most of my stuff in my house now I've got people coming to collect things constantly like three people are coming to get today to collect things that I'm giving away for free. I don't know whether to wait until that house is empty. It's not like a dead person can giveaway their belongings not that they have any value whatsoever I'm a worst human being everything that surrounds me is if anything it will only bring them misery because it seems surrounded by my negativity

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I cut my arm so much past muscle it need stitches maybe I'll pour bleach in them I keep getting that thought come in my mind anyway but I don't care.

As someone who used to put cuticle dissolving solution in my smaller cuts, if you're considering doing this, then you are not in the headspace to attempt again.

I'm serious. If you keep going like this, you'll just end up so fucked up that you'll be stuck in the hospital and unable to move. This won't end well for you.