fleetingnight
incapable of shutting up
- May 2, 2024
- 454
I've been putting most my random thoughts on my profile lately, but maybe this post is worth a discussion.
It accidentally turned into a rant about my family issues, lol. Please feel free to just reply to the title, even if your thoughts aren't related to family, I'm still curious to her your POV
It started with a horrible thought. I was reading someone's story of a parent disowning them, and thought, "I was I was in there place." I instantly realized how fucked up that it. It's not so simple. Even if your parents are shitty, abandonment still fucks with your mental health. I wouldn't want that.
Though, for many years, I've wished I wasn't part of my family, or any family. It'd make sense if my family did something really unequivically awful to me, but they didn't. They fucked up, but they could've been so much wose. I've only ever been hurt so lightly it didn't leave a mark. They've hurt me emotionally, but never denied me all the extensive, expensive healthcare I needed. I've been yelled at for "choosing" to be queer, but they've changed their minds since and are allies now. Not that good, but for me to have such a serious reaction seems overdramatic in comparison
I've slowly started to hate having any close relationships at all. I used to just feel anxious around people irl, but now I feel annoyed or disgusted, too. I know I should feel bad for my friends and family, but I hardly do. They're better off without me, anyways.
I wish they'd realize and be the ones to cut me off. I can't be shitty to them on purpose just to make them leave, though. I know that's selfish (Trust me, I've been on the other end of it)
It accidentally turned into a rant about my family issues, lol. Please feel free to just reply to the title, even if your thoughts aren't related to family, I'm still curious to her your POV
It started with a horrible thought. I was reading someone's story of a parent disowning them, and thought, "I was I was in there place." I instantly realized how fucked up that it. It's not so simple. Even if your parents are shitty, abandonment still fucks with your mental health. I wouldn't want that.
Though, for many years, I've wished I wasn't part of my family, or any family. It'd make sense if my family did something really unequivically awful to me, but they didn't. They fucked up, but they could've been so much wose. I've only ever been hurt so lightly it didn't leave a mark. They've hurt me emotionally, but never denied me all the extensive, expensive healthcare I needed. I've been yelled at for "choosing" to be queer, but they've changed their minds since and are allies now. Not that good, but for me to have such a serious reaction seems overdramatic in comparison
I've slowly started to hate having any close relationships at all. I used to just feel anxious around people irl, but now I feel annoyed or disgusted, too. I know I should feel bad for my friends and family, but I hardly do. They're better off without me, anyways.
I wish they'd realize and be the ones to cut me off. I can't be shitty to them on purpose just to make them leave, though. I know that's selfish (Trust me, I've been on the other end of it)
