Venting I think I have OCD and it's ruining my life. does anyone have advice.

[colorlesshue]

i try to keep off this site but my thoughts are ruining my life. My brain keeps trying to convince me im awful things, and I know they're not true and these are just intrustive thoughts but it's gone on for so long that I dont even have a reaction anymore. I think I was groomed into these thoughts, and my inability to quit thinking them is making them worse. therapy isn't an option for me anymore, I just want input or I guess advice on how to deal with these disgusting ideas in my head.

 

[soul2realm]

Just let them flow out of you. Don't delve on them, dont worry or act on them. It will take a few days but gradually it will go away. Make sure to stay away from anything that reminds you of those thoughts. Sending you loads of blessings.

 

[colorlesshue]

Just let them flow out of you. Don't delve on them, dont worry or act on them. It will take a few days but gradually it will go away. Make sure to stay away from anything that reminds you of those thoughts. Sending you loads of blessings.

woaw,,, thank you lots, random internet stranger. sending you love back

 

[sanctionedusage]

II think I was groomed into these thoughts

so was i! by a therapist who didnt care to acknowledge the multiple obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors i was displaying (anorexia nervosa/body checking, trichotillomania, pedophilia anxiety, spiritual/religious preoccupation, asthenophobia that disabled me, severe health anxiety) and encouraged random thought cycles bc he thought they were cool and interesting. i wish i was joking or exaggerating. he was a polyvagal, spiritual, trauma specialist therapy so it checks out. he chose to see my behaviors as either valid/true and interesting, or a result of trauma (literally can't be proven) and talked about random adverse events i had 15 years ago instead of treating the obvious, deadly frontliners. he was totally fixated on this theory even though some of the issues i had began since i was a toddler/infant, preceding the traumatic events.

prozac, disengagement and NERs, acknowledging what my problem really was (anxiety/ocd, not hidden, 'repressed' ptsd and not 'trauma stored in the body'), and also taking myself out of the active grooming environment for them all drastically improved my condition to the point im no longer disabled about 1 yr and 4 months later. after quitting the therapy i also joined a therapy abuse subreddit which helped me feel okay with disengaging with the thoughts at all, since a part of me still believed all of them were justified/not irrational and my therapist was right. id suggest finding a similar support group whatever that looks like for you, but i only gave myself a few months to rely on their reassurance before leaving & focusing on my own ability to dismiss it without external reassurance