Edit: I slightly updated my post to include more details and more information.
Firstly, I am sorry if my method looks weird. I will be as brief as possible.
Some background info: From time to time I posted here and wrote I was ready. But I gave life one more chance. I guess I gave life waaaaay too many one more chances. Enough. This reason + SI + very hot weather (I need to find some abandoned, wild nature outdoors to do it, where I will be exposed to sun) + my pets + uncertainty about my method prevented me. I always talked myself off from testing my method, mainly because I knew if I test it and it turns out to be working, I will ctb.
Life just kept getting worse and worse. I said enough is enough and Today, I finally tested my method using a stopwatch. My method: 1)rapidly and deeply breathing in and out until I feel dizzy (when it happens it is so intense I can't NOT notice dizziness); 2) Holding my breath (for example, covering my nose and mouth by using (industrial tape, rat glue traps, etc).
It works! Firstly, I simply held my breath WITHOUT doing rapid breath in / outs. I could not survive more than 10 seconds. As soon as I held my breath, tension immediately started forming inside body and after 10 seconds it was unbearable. I had to breathe. Then, to compare with this, I did rapid breathing in and out until I felt so dizzy I couldn't walk properly for one minute. Fortunately for me, it takes just something like 8-10 rapid and deep breathes (Maybe I have some undiagnosed lung problem that also helps me feel dizzy faster, I don't know. But I don't cough, my lungs seem fine). After feeling dizzy, I held my breath. I was able to survive 30 seconds. AFTER 30 seconds, I still didn't feel like I was out of breath. Yes, there was little tension inside me, but I could ignore it and keep feeling fairly comfortable. But I stopped, because I was just testing my method. I don't know, maybe if I did it for 120 seconds, after 80 seconds I would feel intense tension. Next time, I will test it for 60 or more seconds to see what happens.
So, After 30 seconds, I felt like I could hold my breath for eternity with a little tension I can endure, which is a similar experience that happens to people just right before losing consciousness from shallow water blackout (according to google search). The only serious downside of this method so far was that because I was 100% conscious, after some time I start really wondering what will happen the next, will world be gradually black, will I hallucinate as I endure more, what will happen the next. Such questions trigger excitement, and also fear. SI finally kicks in. But it is way better than SI kicking in thanks to lots of tension. I can endure this SI if I feel intensely suicidal
Any questions? I tried to include everything I know. I feel happy because after years of researching, it seems I finally was able to find a method that works for me. Maybe I also need some reassurance, it isn't emotionally easy to ctb. Did this method work for you?
Edit: feel free to read my reply here for advantages and disadvantages of this method if you need to. I also slightly edited my post and my replies here to include more details.
At the end, I just need to rapidly breathe in-out until I feel dizzy, use stuff like tape or glue traps to cover my mouth / nose and wait until I lose consciousness. Optionally (this is not necessary), I can also do these steps inside sea, holding my head under water, if I have doubts it won't work. This method is similar to shallow water blackout, but no need for water.
Next time, I will test this method to see if I can survive for 60 seconds or more. Not just 30 seconds.
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