I survived my CBT attempt (Boofing Heroin)

[lwlaiet8887]

Unfortunately I managed to survive. I don't remember what happened 100% honestly. I boofed the herion and eventually fell unconscious. The update I kept on myself is what I felt during the process. I woke up at somepoint (hours later I believe) and felt like I was dying and started projectile vomiting everywhere.. I'm not sure why this happened at all but I was so much distress that I called the ER. The lady who picked me up on the ambulance seemed skeptical at first but the more she listened to my reasoning the more sympathy she seamed to have for me. I told them I tried OD and that I wasn't a recreational Heroin user. They did blood tests on me for a while and at some point I had to speak to two mental "health advisors" I'm too lazy to speak of it, but one was such some dude bro cunt who said something laughably funny (he reminded me of PC principle) I show him a picture of me next to my peers and why I was upset over my body (we were talking about other issues as well) and he just blurted out "BUT THAT GUYS BLACK!" as if that is somehow relevant to the fucking conversation, the guy was such a massive dude bro cunt moron. The other was some old cunt lady who was trying to grill me on I how I obtained illicit substances and that I didn't have a right to my life, pretty much your typical old lady cunt boomer who was trying to grill me like I was some kind of thug. They even said they'd sent people over to my HOME to speak with me when I adamantly said I didn't want them to. The other people I spoke to had the typical rhetoric except this one young lady nurse who completely understood me and admitted that the mental health services were useless and that she understood that I suffered a lot and it was my choice to personally take my own life, not my mothers, my sisters, my peers etc. I genuinely tried to kill myself last night and I'm unsure why it failed, I heard that some of the heroin can convert to Morphine if boofed so that could be the possible reason. I didn't have it in me to IV as I just wanted to go out listening to music peacefully and I believed 1.5 grams of Afghan would more than enough to kill me. I posted my body as well last night on a temporary photo so hopefully some of you can understand how distraught it makes me ontop of my numerous other issues I've spoken about before.

I'm blessed to have an absolute angel of mother who has seen how much I suffered and completely understood my situation. She's supporting me throughout and has been treating me very well despite being a Christian herself as well as her friend who is also a Christian. Not sure what I'm going to do in the future, the whole situation was oddly cathartic and now I'm getting support so I feel a bit more at ease with my living situation. I no longer have to look for work etc. I didn't have any qualms with dying last night and what triggered me is just my general dissatisfaction with life that I often retort, I had the house to myself so I would've died otherwise.


If you have any questions please do ask me (I also live in the nanny state of the UK so I'm not sure what's going to happen to me from now on)

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Wow. I'm so sorry you went through this experience. I'm glad you had an understanding nurse though among all the cunts. I hope you're feeling better physically; it sounds like mentally you're a bit more at ease. Hugs to you.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Was thinking about you today, sorry it didn't work out and you had to go through all this shit. It's completely understandable that you called the er, something must have gone wrong during the process but I don't have the knowledge to speculate. Did they send you home or are you still at the hospital?

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Was thinking about you today, sorry it didn't work out and you had to go through all this shit. It's completely understandable that you called the er, something must have gone wrong during the process but I don't have the knowledge to speculate. Did they send you home or are you still at the hospital?

I got sent home but had very bad motion sickness. They had to load me up on anti-sickness medicine. I really don't remember what happened it's a complete blur.

 

[claraisnotcarol]

I was thinking about you this morning!
I saw your thread yesterday, and I wondered what happened finally. I'm happy to see you're okay.
The most important part is your mom's support. She's the one that will love you until death. Those workers can go fuck themselves. They just want their pay, and being nice or rude is not gonna change their checks so they get to be assholes whenever they can. thank God for the nurse lady who understood you.
are you feeling better physically?

 

[nicotine_goblin]

I got sent home but had very bad motion sickness. They had to load me up on anti-sickness medicine.

I see, what are your plans now?

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

sorry it didn't go your way. i did have a question. only recently found out what boofing is (or at least think i read it right). wouldn't you get diarrhea almost right away? how do you hold it in?

 

[Suwa]

That's a cool nurse, I wish I could be appointed a nurse like that if it came down to it.

How have you been feeling after all this happened? Are you going to try again?

 

[lwlaiet8887]

sorry it didn't go your way. i did have a question. only recently found out what boofing is (or at least think i read it right). wouldn't you get diarrhea almost right away? how do you hold it in?

It doesn't make you poop at all. You just administrate is via syringe. You clean your butt beforehand and lie flat for 10 minutes.

That's a cool nurse, I wish I could be appointed a nurse like that if it came down to it.

How have you been feeling after all this happened? Are you going to try again?

I'm not sure how I feel, it helps that mom is angelic and really understands where I'm coming from. Getting extra support is going to make my life a lot more livable. I don't think I'm going to try again but I'm not sure whether I'll be unhappy again in the future. Still, I'm just very disappointed with life. I think I crave some authentic companionship, I don't really get "lonely" but if I weren't so lonely I probably wouldn't be so unhinged. Not sure how go about that all though because I've never met anyone who makes me fulfilled and isn't overbearing. The nurse was an amazing lady I feel that she really understood me and how awful the treatment in this country is.

I see, what are your plans now?

Save money. I either want to get limb lengthening surgery or just become a growth hormone ogre. I still hate my fucking body to an extreme. I'm just chilling out at the moment I guess eating/sleeping/playing games, I just need a time of long rest and then some kind of forward action.

I was thinking about you this morning!
I saw your thread yesterday, and I wondered what happened finally. I'm happy to see you're okay.
The most important part is your mom's support. She's the one that will love you until death. Those workers can go fuck themselves. They just want their pay, and being nice or rude is not gonna change their checks so they get to be assholes whenever they can. thank God for the nurse lady who understood you.
are you feeling better physically?

Those mental health people were some of the strangest people I've ever had the displeasure of talking to and I'm not joking. The guy was the human embodiment of PC principle or your typical chad douche bro. They wanted to know why I tried to CTB but wouldn't even let me finish what I was saying half time and kept on badgering me about why I'd kill myself.(especially with herion as if opiod overdose isn't one of the most lethal and non-pauinful methods available) MH normies just don't understand that some people just have it so rough that they get fed up and decide to end it.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Good luck with everything man, hopefully whatever you decide to do helps you and your life becomes more bearable

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

why I'd kill myself.(especially with herion as if opiod overdose isn't one of the most lethal and non-pauinful methods available)

missed opportunity to ask for better methods. kidding! hey if you still have after effects, i hope you get better soon.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

missed opportunity to ask for better methods. kidding! hey if you still have after effects, i hope you get better soon.

Lol, they were such clueless morons. Will never forget about that duo of freaks.

 

[HollowDrop]

I have a friend in UK who works in the mental care field and I've sure heard how bad things really are there. I'm glad your mom is supporting you and not gnawing your ass off about this.

 

[avaruus]

I hope life gets better for you.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Unfortunately I managed to survive. I don't remember what happened 100% honestly. I boofed the herion and eventually fell unconscious. The update I kept on myself is what I felt during the process. I woke up at somepoint (hours later I believe) and felt like I was dying and started projectile vomiting everywhere.. I'm not sure why this happened at all but I was so much distress that I called the ER. The lady who picked me up on the ambulance seemed skeptical at first but the more she listened to my reasoning the more sympathy she seamed to have for me. I told them I tried OD and that I wasn't a recreational Heroin user. They did blood tests on me for a while and at some point I had to speak to two mental "health advisors" I'm too lazy to speak of it, but one was such some dude bro cunt who said something laughably funny (he reminded me of PC principle) I show him a picture of me next to my peers and why I was upset over my body (we were talking about other issues as well) and he just blurted out "BUT THAT GUYS BLACK!" as if that is somehow relevant to the fucking conversation, the guy was such a massive dude bro cunt moron. The other was some old cunt lady who was trying to grill me on I how I obtained illicit substances and that I didn't have a right to my life, pretty much your typical old lady cunt boomer who was trying to grill me like I was some kind of thug. They even said they'd sent people over to my HOME to speak with me when I adamantly said I didn't want them to. The other people I spoke to had the typical rhetoric except this one young lady nurse who completely understood me and admitted that the mental health services were useless and that she understood that I suffered a lot and it was my choice to personally take my own life, not my mothers, my sisters, my peers etc. I genuinely tried to kill myself last night and I'm unsure why it failed, I heard that some of the heroin can convert to Morphine if boofed so that could be the possible reason. I didn't have it in me to IV as I just wanted to go out listening to music peacefully and I believed 1.5 grams of Afghan would more than enough to kill me. I posted my body as well last night on a temporary photo so hopefully some of you can understand how distraught it makes me ontop of my numerous other issues I've spoken about before.

I'm blessed to have an absolute angel of mother who has seen how much I suffered and completely understood my situation. She's supporting me throughout and has been treating me very well despite being a Christian herself as well as her friend who is also a Christian. Not sure what I'm going to do in the future, the whole situation was oddly cathartic and now I'm getting support so I feel a bit more at ease with my living situation. I no longer have to look for work etc. I didn't have any qualms with dying last night and what triggered me is just my general dissatisfaction with life that I often retort, I had the house to myself so I would've died otherwise.


If you have any questions please do ask me (I also live in the nanny state of the UK so I'm not sure what's going to happen to me from now on)

I was watching your posts yesterday and wondering about you. Sometimes I wonder if it would be the way to go as it looks peaceful (Trainspotting generation )
but as someone who has never done it I know I wouldn't have a clue what I was doing and would end up being conned and messing it up. Thanks for posting about your experience.

 

[Dying Knight]

and I believed 1.5 grams of Afghan would more than enough to kill me

Drug dealers often dilute heroin, you never know how much you get.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Drug dealers often dilute heroin, you never know how much you get.

I don't think so, I buy from a very good source ( a popular darknet vendor) and lots of it gets tested at Wendigos, a drug testing lab based in the UK. There's a very big drug scene here so people really care about the quality. I think I survived because I ate a really big meal and lots of fluid beforehand. It probably slowed down the digestion process and when it was being absorbed through my stomach caused me to vomit. I literally vomited out my whole dinner chunks included. I don't think anyone has tried boofing to OD until now and it was only briefly mentioned on the mega thread so there was always potential for failure. I really didn't feel like IV as I was too lazy and just wanted to go out as peacefully as possible. It's whatever really I'm feeling a bit more cathartic now and I'm actually getting the support I need so there's not so much pressure on me anymore. I can just take it easy until I decide to revaluate my life. I also have a very high drug tolerance naturally I believe. Takes me a lot to get drunk, I've eaten a ridiculous amount of edibles at time, binged on benzos etc, took really high does of psychedelics etc. Not in a braggart way anyways I just seem to be able to take a lot of substances.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Even though I'm doing better I still can't say I'm not disappointed with life when I really think about it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that failed. I wish you all the best and hope you recover quickly from this attempt.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Even though I'm doing better I still can't say I'm not disappointed with life when I really think about it.

I'm sorry for.this experience. I advise you to just take your time to reflect an collect yourself before you decide what direction to move in.

 

[backtoearth]

I'm sorry it went that way, the services here are horrible. Sending love to you, I hope you recover from this quickly and that the support you have lasts <3

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Does anyone know if it's possible to throw up from boofing? I'm curious as to why it failed. Thinking of trying the same method but with IV.

 

[Quinton Coldwater]

Unfortunately I managed to survive. I don't remember what happened 100% honestly. I boofed the herion and eventually fell unconscious. The update I kept on myself is what I felt during the process. I woke up at somepoint (hours later I believe) and felt like I was dying and started projectile vomiting everywhere.. I'm not sure why this happened at all but I was so much distress that I called the ER. The lady who picked me up on the ambulance seemed skeptical at first but the more she listened to my reasoning the more sympathy she seamed to have for me. I told them I tried OD and that I wasn't a recreational Heroin user. They did blood tests on me for a while and at some point I had to speak to two mental "health advisors" I'm too lazy to speak of it, but one was such some dude bro cunt who said something laughably funny (he reminded me of PC principle) I show him a picture of me next to my peers and why I was upset over my body (we were talking about other issues as well) and he just blurted out "BUT THAT GUYS BLACK!" as if that is somehow relevant to the fucking conversation, the guy was such a massive dude bro cunt moron. The other was some old cunt lady who was trying to grill me on I how I obtained illicit substances and that I didn't have a right to my life, pretty much your typical old lady cunt boomer who was trying to grill me like I was some kind of thug. They even said they'd sent people over to my HOME to speak with me when I adamantly said I didn't want them to. The other people I spoke to had the typical rhetoric except this one young lady nurse who completely understood me and admitted that the mental health services were useless and that she understood that I suffered a lot and it was my choice to personally take my own life, not my mothers, my sisters, my peers etc. I genuinely tried to kill myself last night and I'm unsure why it failed, I heard that some of the heroin can convert to Morphine if boofed so that could be the possible reason. I didn't have it in me to IV as I just wanted to go out listening to music peacefully and I believed 1.5 grams of Afghan would more than enough to kill me. I posted my body as well last night on a temporary photo so hopefully some of you can understand how distraught it makes me ontop of my numerous other issues I've spoken about before.

I'm blessed to have an absolute angel of mother who has seen how much I suffered and completely understood my situation. She's supporting me throughout and has been treating me very well despite being a Christian herself as well as her friend who is also a Christian. Not sure what I'm going to do in the future, the whole situation was oddly cathartic and now I'm getting support so I feel a bit more at ease with my living situation. I no longer have to look for work etc. I didn't have any qualms with dying last night and what triggered me is just my general dissatisfaction with life that I often retort, I had the house to myself so I would've died otherwise.


If you have any questions please do ask me (I also live in the nanny state of the UK so I'm not sure what's going to happen to me from now on)

What did he mean when he said but he's black?