I survived... I'm sorry

[ijustwantout]

As the title said I survived. I posted a thread three days ago saying I would CTB at night. Everything was prepped, the rope, the setting, the anchor. It was perfect. I took sometime to make peace with myself and I thought I was ready and I did do it. It felt like everything was going smoothly but the for a second a sort of SI kicked in and I stood up ( my method was partial hanging). I don't know what happened. I was supposed to die. It felt like even death was rejecting me.

I want to say sorry to everyone who helped with words and information. This was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere and I felt like someone when I was with all of you. I didn't post earlier because I was depressed. I couldn't eat nor drink. I just stayed in my room. Life is exhausting but I guess it's not my time yet. Again I'm sorry I disappointed everyone.


This is not the end, I will try to research and fina a better way to do it. Hopefully one that's too quick for my SI to catch up with. Thank you everyone. Cheers .

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I dont really know you and your circumstance, but if i could impose? I hope you know there's nothing to say sorry about.
I personally do not understand why you need to apologize for kind words and information that was given. It's okay, it happens, and I don't think the support in the site would lessen because you weren't able to achieve what you wanted. We're here. Heck, im here, regardless of the fail or the success and I will be wishing you the best in your endeavors, regardless if its continue to survive or success in your chosen method.

 

[ijustwantout]

Thank you... I don't know why I felt like saying sorry.. I know I don't know anyone of you personally but for the first time ever I felt like I belonged and people welcomed me and I thought it was because I was brave enough to CTB and since I survived I thought I disappointed everyone. That's why I apologized. This constant apologizing is also a part of my depression problem. So yea

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult for us to die on our own terms, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much to cease existing. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[rozeske]

No need to be sorry. We will always be happy to hear from you, and everyone is here to support you however way you want it. I hope you recover quick from the disappointment of a failed attempt, (been there done that). Most of us here have a failed attempt of 1 or 2 partial hanging or 30 in some cases. Don't be hard on your self, it's not easy doing partial and even less easier beating SI. I wish you luck on your plans whichever path they lead you.

 

[Dot]

As the title said I survived. I posted a thread three days ago saying I would CTB at night. Everything was prepped, the rope, the setting, the anchor. It was perfect. I took sometime to make peace with myself and I thought I was ready and I did do it. It felt like everything was going smoothly but the for a second a sort of SI kicked in and I stood up ( my method was partial hanging). I don't know what happened. I was supposed to die. It felt like even death was rejecting me.

I want to say sorry to everyone who helped with words and information. This was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere and I felt like someone when I was with all of you. I didn't post earlier because I was depressed. I couldn't eat nor drink. I just stayed in my room. Life is exhausting but I guess it's not my time yet. Again I'm sorry I disappointed everyone.


This is not the end, I will try to research and fina a better way to do it. Hopefully one that's too quick for my SI to catch up with. Thank you everyone. Cheers .

Nevr apolgse fr nt takng ur lfe

U f/ nt ow tht t/ n.e1

 

[BlackMoon]

You don't have any apologies to make, also it can happens to everyone of us to be prevented even in the last seconds by SI. It doesn't make you weak or a coward at all.

You're just a living being with an SI like almost living being on this planet. You didn't make any fault or mistake.

I wish I could hug to comfort you. Love and whatever your projects after this, I wish you to find successfully your way to peace.

 

[SVEN]

You should know that, like all of us, you are one of the group and are always welcome.

 

[Forever Sleep]

There's nothing to apologise for. There's no expectation here for someone to take their own life- even if they make a goodbye thread. Even if they make ten goodbye threads. We're here to support each other throughout. I think we probably all suspect how difficult it is to go through with an attempt and win out over SI. That's in part why we're all so scared!

I'm sorry it didn't go the way you hoped. I hope you are able to be kind to yourself and collect your thoughts.

 

[UKscotty]

Sorry for what? You are welcome here no matter what.

Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise.

 

[Gonnerr]

Welcome back , dont be sorry , this is one of the hardest thing to do.

 

[sklvlp999]

As the title said I survived. I posted a thread three days ago saying I would CTB at night. Everything was prepped, the rope, the setting, the anchor. It was perfect. I took sometime to make peace with myself and I thought I was ready and I did do it. It felt like everything was going smoothly but the for a second a sort of SI kicked in and I stood up ( my method was partial hanging). I don't know what happened. I was supposed to die. It felt like even death was rejecting me.

I want to say sorry to everyone who helped with words and information. This was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere and I felt like someone when I was with all of you. I didn't post earlier because I was depressed. I couldn't eat nor drink. I just stayed in my room. Life is exhausting but I guess it's not my time yet. Again I'm sorry I disappointed everyone.


This is not the end, I will try to research and fina a better way to do it. Hopefully one that's too quick for my SI to catch up with. Thank you everyone. Cheers .

No need to say sorry to anybody we're here to help you find peace and happiness whichever way it is and it has to be one that both your body and soul are content with.
I guess this wasn't the case

 

[Manfrotto99]

no need to apologise, you're one of the group because you are still here struggling like the rest of us