I so desperately want to be seen and heard in real life without people trying to "fix" me or change anything

[wordsonscreen]

idk where to begin. I'm so so so tired. I am ready to leave in a few weeks- doing final prep. I just wish someone could hold me and listen to everything I have to say and just be with me in my suffering. Like GENUINELY listen and be present without trying to change anything at all. I also have a lot of sexual trauma in my past so it is very difficult to let people touch me. That is why it especially hurts that people I trusted have harmed me and shut me out when I needed them most. I bet they will cry wolf when I am gone and talk about "oh poor girl how sick she must've been". I want my emotions and my experiences to be validated. I've had a shit few decades. I need people to just support me as I prepare to leave. I wish it didn't have to be this way. No one WANTS to die out of nowhere- we all have valid reasons behind it. A lot of shit got me to this point. Dying is not easy either. I just can feel that people who I need right now and are not there for me and are in fact adding to my suffering will continue to devalue my life and experiences even when I am gone.

I am just so grateful for this place where I can be honest and not have people guilt me or shame me or try to gaslight me when I am already suffering.

 

[Sea Turtle]

Sorry about all of them, I hope you can find some of the support that you need here and know that you are valid. I'm here if you need to chat

 

[wordsonscreen]

Sorry about all of them, I hope you can find some of the support that you need here and know that you are valid. I'm here if you need to chat

Thank you so much!

 

[WornOutLife]

Imagine if all the people here on SS could meet IRL! I bet we'd have so much fun and such interesting conversations!

 

[the_final_countdown]

I'm sorry you feel that way. Hope you feel better. Warm showers and hot chocolate make me feel better on hard days.

There's a Japanese man that started a service where he does nothing except listen and stand around.

People started using his services when they went on dates or when they wanted someone to talk to.

He wasn't a therapist and wasn't advocating for any kind of treatment. He just listened without judgement.

 

[wordsonscreen]

I'm sorry you feel that way. Hope you feel better. Warm showers and hot chocolate make me feel better on hard days.

There's a Japanese man that started a service where he does nothing except listen and stand around.

People started using his services when they went on dates or when they wanted someone to talk to.

He wasn't a therapist and wasn't advocating for any kind of treatment. He just listened without judgement.

Ugh need more.

Imagine if all the people here on SS could meet IRL! I bet we'd have so much fun and such interesting conversations!

YES! We could do a final trip :)

 

[noaccount]

hi, i'm listening <3

 

[Fizz]

@sunbug I relate to you so much. People panicking about me wanting to die but not doing anything to help only ramps up my own anxiety and guilt. People say they'll talk and then ignore you for weeks.

I wish people could respect my choices considering I have done everything to help myself. The therapy, the crisis lines, the friends, journalism, mood diary, the psychs the meds. At what point have I suffered enough? People want me to exist but if there's no help is that really living?

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You're not crazy or wrong for wanting it to end. If that means death, than I guess that's where a lot of people are at. I wish you had someone IRL you could talk to about all of this. I wish that for all of us.

There's a Japanese man that started a service where he does nothing except listen and stand around.

People started using his services when they went on dates or when they wanted someone to talk to.

He wasn't a therapist and wasn't advocating for any kind of treatment. He just listened without judgement.

I'm probably just being cynical, but seems kind of scammy to me. Getting paid to literally do nothing. Then again, if it helps, it helps and I do realize he really may have good intentions.

 

[whitefeather]

I'm sorry you feel that way. Hope you feel better. Warm showers and hot chocolate make me feel better on hard days.

There's a Japanese man that started a service where he does nothing except listen and stand around.

People started using his services when they went on dates or when they wanted someone to talk to.

He wasn't a therapist and wasn't advocating for any kind of treatment. He just listened without judgement.

google Dr. Carl Rogers

 

[wordsonscreen]

hi, i'm listening <3

whoa I look back at my activity and its crazy how we keep resonating! You're the maybe boston vacation person <3 :) am here for you too and I hope you are well <3

@sunbug I relate to you so much. People panicking about me wanting to die but not doing anything to help only ramps up my own anxiety and guilt. People say they'll talk and then ignore you for weeks.

I wish people could respect my choices considering I have done everything to help myself. The therapy, the crisis lines, the friends, journalism, mood diary, the psychs the meds. At what point have I suffered enough? People want me to exist but if there's no help is that really living?

So sorry fizz.. that can be very disappointing. I think we have to respect our own choices enough sometimes to be okay with others disrespecting what we want and letting them do it in their own corner.

"At what point have I suffered enough? People want me to exist but if there's no help is that really living?"
These are important questions and deserve genuine introspection <3 Sending you so much love and strength! I hope you are well and please do reach to folks that feel good to you to create your own community. That community can come from SS or any new platform online or irl <3

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You're not crazy or wrong for wanting it to end. If that means death, than I guess that's where a lot of people are at. I wish you had someone IRL you could talk to about all of this. I wish that for all of us.

Thank you <3 That is my wish for everyone as well :) Genuine connections heal.