S
sadandconfused
Member
- Jul 5, 2020
- 19
Well... on Saturday night I intended to drink and have a good time but that became... something else. I started googling how to remove the blades from a razor blade... unsuccessfully. So I just got a razor and ran it over my arm. The cut is nothing, looks like a cat lightly scratched me but that's not the point... I never thought I would start doing this. When I went back to my friend/ex-boyfriend (complicated situation...) he asked what happened, why I was holding my arm (I guess I wanted him to see) and I couldn't even speak... just did like the cutting motion on my arm. He didn't ask and just got a band aid. When I blacked out he went on my phone and probably saw me on this site but if he did he hasn't said anything. The whole night is a blur, I remember nothing after I cut myself except that we had sex sometime in the early morning (which he said can't happen anymore)... that sounds worse than it is, it was consensual but I just have no memory of how it happened. I've never blacked out from drinking before and I didn't even drink that much, not enough to be hungover
The fact that I was drunk scares me so much. I read about Tamar Braxton's suicide attempt after she drank and took pills and I can relate. I'm scared to drink again because who knows what else I'll try?
I don't know if this is the right section but I just needed to get this off my chest and see if anybody else has self-harmed while drinking?
The fact that I was drunk scares me so much. I read about Tamar Braxton's suicide attempt after she drank and took pills and I can relate. I'm scared to drink again because who knows what else I'll try?
I don't know if this is the right section but I just needed to get this off my chest and see if anybody else has self-harmed while drinking?