I say too much online

[sserafim]

It really shouldn't take a manic episode to remind me of the magnitude of which I spew personal (or impersonal) information on online spaces that none really need to know. Only someone of importance should be so concerned with the prospect of digital archival coming to consume them in the future, but my fragile soul cannot take the implication of being perceived as none more than Rōnin, wandering among the ravines of the web to cause minor forgettable issues the disappear back into the abyss.

It reminded me of Andrew Keen's book The cult of the Amateur

It began as a moral dilemma. Should you plan sex before meeting a cyber lover? she asked the search engine on April 17, 2006.
The problem was that she was married but in love with another man, as she confessed to the search engine on April 20.
A week later, she had made up her mind to meet her Internet lover. What do men think is sexy? she inquired ten days later as she finalized her plans—the plane tickets, the hotel and restaurant reservations—to fly from her home in Houston to meet him in San Antonio.
She spent the night of May 4 with him in San Antonio's Omni Hotel. It was a disaster. i met my cyber lover and the sex was not good, she confessed on May 8. Online friend is horrible in person.
Does God punish adultery? She asked on May 13.
How do I know all these intimate details about a stranger?
I know it because I've read her entries on her AOL search engine. I've scanned every entry she made between March 1, 2006, and May 31, 2006.
She had opened her heart to this technology, transforming her search-engine queries into a window to her soul. She's as real as lonelygirl15, the fictionalized actress on YouTube, is fake. The thoughts and feelings that she poured into AOL's search engine reveal a woman struggling to maintain her sanity in the face of despair.
From March through the end of May, she fed 2,393 questions into the search engine—questions that she would have been too shy to ask even her closest friends; questions about her body, male sexuality, Internet addiction, and God's justice. She was a digital Madame Bovary, with just one caveat—her entries in the AOL search engine weren't intended to be published. There was no Flaubert behind her confessions. They weren't supposed to be read by anyone.
Amid her snoring spouse, her invisible children, her heartbreaking adultery, her struggle to make sense of God's word, it was her sole confidante, the one certainty that could never let her down.
How wrong she was. Her utter frankness with the search engine represented her most serious misjudgment, one even more misguided than her decision to spend the night with her Internet lover. For soon the Internet turned her into a global media celebrity. Her search engine entries between March and May—all 2,393 of them—would be released on the Internet for public consumption. Her confessions would be read and "interpreted" by thousands of voyeuristic bloggers. Little did AOL user #711391 know that she would become one of the first casualties of a digital surveillance culture in which our deepest fears and most intimate emotions can be broadcast, without our knowledge or permission, to the world

It is far too late to seek a caveat to this issue, so I considered a philosophy of disconnection, maybe even a consideration of the outside beyond the world I've created in my little box of pleasure. But alas, who am I kidding? I will come home expecting immediate pleasure from the doses of attention internet strangers give me for nonsensical rambling I copy-paste from more competent netizens. Perhaps all those threats of "kill yourself!" were prophecies rather than goofy threats to lighten the already deaf mood. Worse yet, I will forget all of this once 2 hours pass and come crawling to do the same. It is in my genes to act aggressive rather than rational after all.

networktion is completely possible + constant; disconnection is completely impossible, 0% chance, & must not be looked away from — it:s a pure faith based concept, realized as a spirituality through several tortures.

first torture: miscommunication; forced to communicate but constantly be misunderstood; a person can speak with a clear enheart1 but be misunderstood by the sheer saturation of lucifer2 and only be understood through this way. a completely clear enheart can speak, and only ever be further misunderstood by defending its sincerity versus the saturation of lucifer — specifically: this misunderstanding comes from subtle social hypnosis and creates a sparkling abyssal loneliness for engrammatic life. communication becomes painful, because even if the mind understands that language-is-being-understood, the heart (& enheart) knows that its expressions are being misunderstood. the mind warps the language of the heart into a miscommunication, and the person becomes a further oppressor against their own heart (& enheart).

second torture: subtle social hypnosis; miscommunication is reinforced through mass filtration established around the hearts of any who have allowed themselves to be subsumed; language is a broad filter against the heart; friend groups are another against the heart; subtle social hypnosis spreads the filter to adjacents via input/outputs; the filter that subsumed hearts are constrained by is outputted whenever they convey their feelings, and is inputted into any person who would listen; inputs impregnate the person with a larvae that forms the basis for simple thought control; example:
disagreement between my mystic understanding versus the lucifer understanding of my new filter

the filter stays forever, and has to now be manually deknitted3 from active thought processes to maintain clear communication of the enheart — but the fragment of filter stays stuck to the heart; even in writing this, i can think nothing but: "a reader will only see this as affirmation of self-harm, and enabling of their delusion" — i am impure, and this impurity demands i hate my reader: and i do, if my heart is misunderstood as wanting to encourage someones self-destruction, then i hate the reader that misunderstands that.

third torture: shame. i hate myself for being misunderstood.

against the network: a person subscribing to a network spirituality is believing in a possible spiritual ecstasy coming from the inherent connection they feel with every-other in the network; the milady-believers cling to a filter/language of "network spirituality" with a (enheart) pure-feeling that they are involved in a bleeding-edge internet art movement: it:s just like lain — but the spirituality part is insincere. to the bulk believers of milady, networking spirituality is another dishonest filter they miscommunicate their feelings through: they:re default server-bugs chirping out "community" through a thousand different bleeding-edge filters placed around their heart. it:s the same for wired-believers. it:s the same for christians. show up to church, learn the language, the rules, the lucifer of bible, and never feel anything. never feel connected to your belief, and never feel disconnected, either, because the constant nerve-tapping won:t let you feel nothing.

from: https://demon5equal10birth5day3equal8.substack.com/p/i-long-for-disconnection-spirituality

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I had a whole new conception of you for a minute before I saw the link this came from at the bottom.

 

[SmallKoy]

Just a reminder that I do genuinely consider you to be a friend of mine-- and I really hope that you are safe and not interacting with people who only want to cause you harm.

 

[derpyderpins]

I will come home expecting immediate pleasure from the doses of attention internet strangers give me for nonsensical rambling I copy-paste from more competent netizens.

Meta af

 

[ClownWorld2023]

Embrace the mania, but do take care of your personal information (don't reveal it).



They're watching...

 

[sserafim]

Embrace the mania, but do take care of your personal information (don't reveal it).



They're watching...


View attachment 141183

I don't have mania; I copied this thread from another forum. I do say too much online though. I have to stop oversharing, but I use this forum to vent, so I naturally overshare

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't have mania; I copied this thread from another forum. I do say too much online though. I have to stop oversharing, but I use this forum to vent, so I naturally overshare

Most people overshare a lot. Talking about ourselves, even when it's in a more neutral or mundane context, causes the pleasure centre of the brain to activate. We like talking about ourselves because, whether we want to admit or not, it feels good. The internet has allowed for us to part take in this particular activity a lot more, since we can now spend all day talking about ourselves on forums, social media, under comment sections, etc.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's alright I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me in real life and stumbles upon this site would immediately be able to tell it was me due to not being able to hide my fixations and interests very well.

I think as long as you don't reveal your full name and location, the average SS user would not even be able to pinpoint your identity even if they wanted to bother with that. Maybe if you end up on the news like other SS users have it might happen though.

 

[Dark Moon]

I don't have mania; I copied this thread from another forum. I do say too much online though. I have to stop oversharing, but I use this forum to vent, so I naturally overshare

Most people overshare a lot. Talking about ourselves, even when it's in a more neutral or mundane context, causes the pleasure centre of the brain to activate. We like talking about ourselves because, whether we want to admit or not, it feels good. The internet has allowed for us to part take in this particular activity a lot more, since we can now spend all day talking about ourselves on forums, social media, under comment sections, etc.

This is also Sanction Suicide and people here overshare their situations, I know I have done that and I need to stop doing it myself.

 

[jarik]

Same….