Venting I really wish that the view on suicide wasn't so dark for a lot of people.

[AkaRed]

Hey, just want to get some stuff off my chest for two seconds.
Honestly think this site is going to be my saving grace, apart from one other person in my life right now. Because apparently the thoughts and feelings I have regarding CTB are just, too much. Even for therapists (I usually just get drugs thrown my way or am told to go outside more lol).

One weird thing about me is, the human mind is interesting to me, and the topics discussed on this site are exactly what piques my interest. I don't mean to scare people when I talk about how fascinatingly fragile the human body can be, and yet how difficult it is to CTB in this modern society despite how easy it COULD be. Survival instinct plays such a huge part for those who do have the resources to move forward, and that in of itself is interesting.

I had a bit of an emotional moment the other day with my significant other. It was a rough day and we both had some really dark things spiraling in our minds. It didn't take a lot to guess what was going on through his head, but he's extremely shut off to talking about things so it made it difficult to try and even listen. I, on the other hand, accidentally overshared about the things I'd seen from here (not actually mentioning SaSu specifically), to do with the effects of SN (Without naming SN or what it was), different methods and their specifics, and how all it can take is just a few kg of pressure and an iron will to achieve what you truly desire.

Long story short, I inevitably got shut down. It was too much. But he had been a bit of a dick to me throughout the day from his med withdrawals, so it felt super disheartening to know I couldn't talk to him about these things. I do love him, but I wish I could talk more openly about this stuff. It'd be nice to have a society where these topics aren't automatically taboo and freakish, because under the surface there's so much to uncover.
<3

 

[Rumi]

Long story short, I inevitably got shut down.

For most people, suicide is unfathomable; it is an either indication of weakness, or a sign of mental illness.

They cannot compute that some people just don't want to live; that there are people for whom the daily requirements of life are a chore, and for whom suicide is a relief from constant suffering.

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

Completely agree that there are so many interesting discussions and ideas that go undiscovered because of how taboo this all is. Thankfully I've made a couple of friends willing to go the entire distance when I discuss my thoughts and feelings with them. Sometimes I forget others don't want to hear about anything CTB related in the slightest because it frightens them to the core, and I feel very disconnected from those I can't share what's on my mind with.

Ironically, I think having deep or painful discussions about the why and how of attempting to CTB can help people better understand themselves and for some, even have them choose to keep living. If they truly wanted to stop people from CTBing they wouldn't threaten them with hospitalizations and shut down all conversations with them, they'd have to sit down and discuss some scary things. Things many people are too comfortable to ignore.

If we are given the opportunity to sit down and discuss with someone our raw thoughts and emotions without having to filter them because they're taboo, we can better understand ourselves, others, and the universe as a whole. I think that's exactly why this website is so important and has been a positive experience for many. When the discussion can be had, we can lay out all our options like it's any other important decision and really understand what the outcomes are going to be. Be it emotional, philosophical, or even what happens to your loved ones afterward.

There's so much still to discuss and explore about subjects like these, and I would be a less developed and less wise person without being able to read people's perspectives on here.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I really wish it wasn't so stigmatized as well. For me I only talk about it with friends who are pro-choice and do understand the nature of my decision and mind. So many people say "Let's hope they survived" when I talk about someone killing themselves.

I don't have it in me to shut them down and say no, they wanted to die and I hope they are.

The right to die is so taboo in society but here it's very normal, I appreciate this site for letting me say what I want to without judgement, stigma or intervention.

 

[groucho]

I do wonder how many people enjoy life really. I'm nearly 40 and I'm done, i don't enjoy life, i'm bored with most things, had a lot of experiences including most of the big ones e.g. relationships, school, travelling, career etc and it all becomes monotonous.

I spent a lot of my youth consuming media and I realised that's because it was preferable to my experience of life.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I do wonder how many people enjoy life really. I'm nearly 40 and I'm done, i don't enjoy life, i'm bored with most things, had a lot of experiences including most of the big ones e.g. relationships, school, travelling, career etc and it all becomes monotonous.

I spent a lot of my youth consuming media and I realised that's because it was preferable to my experience of life.

I've been wondering the same thing, how are people content in this world? There must be something of value but I just can't see it.

I asked a few people about it and got responses like 'it's fun' or 'to follow my dreams'. Those didn't really help my understanding, I guess it'll be a mystery for as long as I live.

 

[SilentSadness]

Suicidal people are persecuted in the same way other groups were in history. The past just repeats itself again and again as people refuse to see its connections with their current reality. I wish suicidal people weren't abused and gaslighted the way they are as well, but sadly they will continue to be. Maybe some time in the future, people will be able to kill themselves peacefully, but unfortunately it probably won't be any time soon. I hope you don't get shut down again.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think the reality is that so many people are in denial, they don't wish to accept the fact that wanting to die is perfectly logical in this world and makes so much sense to avoid all future suffering and harm. We are all destined to die anyway so to me it would be preferable to take control over my inevitable fate but I just think that it's best not to talk about this topic at all, as many people fear death and they fear what suicide represents which is death being the preferable option. In this world many people are obsessed and so focused with life, they see something so futile and worthless as life as ironically being valuable so they don't want to face the reality that suicide is a valid option.

This is just the way that things are sadly, but maybe people's attitudes would be different if something happened to make them suicidal themselves, but suicidal people deserve to have their decision accepted, it should be able to be discussed openly but the problem lies in people's delusional beliefs which therefore mean that suicide is so stigmatised.

 

[ThisIsLife]

how fascinatingly fragile the human body can be, and yet how difficult it is to CTB in this modern society despite how easy it COULD be.

That is indeed fascinating. Everywhere, every day, people die from almost nothing. Some people die because they got up too fast, or from a heart attack because plaque penetrated their gums and blocked their arteries, or just fell and instantly died (i've witnessed this exact situation by the way: the guy was sitting still on his motorcycle just talking, engine was not even running, he just lost balance, fell, and "poof" he was gone).

It drives me nuts because on the other hand, so many survive on a lot of damage inflicted to their body.

Maybe you heard about that russian guy who recently fell from the 19th floor onto a car and survived... He just got away with a concussion and a little bit damage to his spine.

I've witnessed a family member get drunk as fuck all day everyday all my life (i'm 36), and he started drinking 15 years before i was even born. He's still alive and have no health issue whatsoever. I don't know if you've ever watched Trailer Park Boys (hilarious show btw), but if you have, he's Jim Lahey. He IS the liquor.
Honorable mention to rock stars that spent all their lives excessively doing drugs and getting drunk who outlived the most healthy people on earth.

That's mad when you think about how difficult it is to die when you want to, and how easy it could be, as you said. I believe we could have a society where when you decide it's time for you to go, you'd just go to your doctor and have prescription of N or go to a clinic and have a nitrogen setup ready for you.
But i think that if we were all able to do that so easily, on one hand big pharma would do crazy shit to insanely profit from it, and on the other, governments would try to use it as a mean to get rid of dissidents, hiding behind fallacious arguments such as mental illness. History has already proven many times that both never have given a damn about our interests and well-being. After all, we've all witnessed recently with covid how things could go tits up and how easily they've put people in categories and punished them based on their opinion. In my country, a few doctors that didn't agree with the covid vaccine were put in mental institutions. That's scary.

I'm all for right to die, but i don't think right to die could last because of the endless possibilities of abuse that come from it. There's always a very thin line that separates our freedom and our society becoming a dystopian nightmare.

I believe that it would be better if we focused on how science could give us more means to CTB than to ask/wait for our governments to have the right to do it: finding ways to peacefully CTB with a few every day things we buy at the supermarket would be much more efficient than have our government authorisation to buy a specific toxic product. Look at how fast it got hard to buy SN. We could easily get it form Am**on in a few clicks no questions asked months ago. Guess how fast it's going to be regulated; weeks or months separate us from SN becoming worldwide regulated and exclusive to biochemistry labs use. How much would you bet it'll soon become a common darknet product along with drugs and firearms ? That's insane and pro-lifers certainly don't help and will go harder on suicidal people in the future, cause you know... good guys yada yada yada... They already have gone really far to prevent us from... just talking to each other on a forum.

 

[HopefulSleep]

They mostly don't care how people feel until they ctb cause empathy doesn't equal understanding emotions, it is just thinking they understand the emotion of others