![FireFox](/data/avatars/l/16/16930.jpg?1586441459)
FireFox
Enlightened
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,551
I frequently think of death and see it as relief from all the confusion in my life.
Everyday i think of putting my arm against the oven to self harm i dont want to , i want to throw myself out of a window or i keep thinking of how much medicine i can overdose on etc.
These thoughts are like a cloud that lingers over which never goes away.
I never really wanted to die. There were loads of things i wanted to do with my life
-Go to iceland and the netherlands
- go on a eurostar train
- knit a pussy hat to protest trumps re election( i cant knit
)
- vist a hippie commune
- Fight against world injustices
- get married.
- have fun
I dont want to be those boring people who work 9-5 , pay bills and look forward to the weekend and the cycle repeats itself.
Most people my age go to the pub which is boring. Pub is big thing here in the UK.
I dont know how to live . I was never taught to how to live.
Taught to pray i was but never to cope with this disappoiment.
I built my identity around being a student now it is gone . I can see myself ever finding a new normal.
I dont know want my purpose is in this world
I dont know where i belong . I dont fit in anywhere
I realise sucide is an escpase
Most attractive solution in my situation.
I never had a job at 23. I have done voluntary work throught out university but employers are not interested.
Unemployable
I am on benefits / welfare which makes me a failure .
Everything is just a mess.
I wasted my life
Everyday i think of putting my arm against the oven to self harm i dont want to , i want to throw myself out of a window or i keep thinking of how much medicine i can overdose on etc.
These thoughts are like a cloud that lingers over which never goes away.
I never really wanted to die. There were loads of things i wanted to do with my life
-Go to iceland and the netherlands
- go on a eurostar train
- knit a pussy hat to protest trumps re election( i cant knit
- vist a hippie commune
- Fight against world injustices
- get married.
- have fun
I dont want to be those boring people who work 9-5 , pay bills and look forward to the weekend and the cycle repeats itself.
Most people my age go to the pub which is boring. Pub is big thing here in the UK.
I dont know how to live . I was never taught to how to live.
Taught to pray i was but never to cope with this disappoiment.
I built my identity around being a student now it is gone . I can see myself ever finding a new normal.
I dont know want my purpose is in this world
I dont know where i belong . I dont fit in anywhere
I realise sucide is an escpase
Most attractive solution in my situation.
I never had a job at 23. I have done voluntary work throught out university but employers are not interested.
Unemployable
I am on benefits / welfare which makes me a failure .
Everything is just a mess.
I wasted my life