raindrops
Someday, eventually
- Mar 29, 2020
- 447
I keep typing this everywhere I go on this site, I'm sorry. I don't expect anyone to read my rubbish.
It feels good to type it out though, I know I type a lot I'm sorry.
I was with my partner for 11 years, since I was 15. The only boyfriend I've had.
He left me so unexpectedly, I went to work, come home and he was gone, now I'm indefinitely alone.
Everyday I think I'd love some friends, ffs I mean I am 27!! I'd love a partner and I want it to be like my last relationship
we were stuck together, we did everything together, some say that's unhealthy, I can see why, deep down though that was the best love of my life!
Some say "I'm alone" yet they usually have children or actual real friends that would do something for them, I have none of that.
No one to even borrow a £1 from, I don't like saying these negative things, I want to manifest positivity into my life.
With this virus I can't do anything about socialising, a part of me wishes I could meet new people. I want life to be back to normal.
The only person I have is my grandmother and I'm not exaggerating.
My grandmother I love so much, she is amazing, honestly don't know where I'd be without her.
It's my own fault for being alone, I avoided friends for 11 years, they've become different people now, people I don't "vibe" with
(I'm currently reading Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King, some self help because I need positivity to keep going)
Yeah I talk a lot of crap here but in person I'm quite chill, easy to talk with, understanding.
I have a good sense humour and I'm actually shy, not always a good trait.
I'm not a know-it-all, I truly love to listen, learn something new and be around people.
Some people from work ask me how I am sometimes over fb, let's face it though, they're just work colleagues
none of them are my age, I love them they're great people but I want friends my age with similar interests.
I say I want friends, a partner but I don't want to talk with people in person, I don't trust people anymore
I'm scared I'll be hurt if I make a close connection to someone.
For 11 years my daily conversations were with him, only him. If I needed to talk about annnnnything, it was with him.
Maybe this is too soon, I've been single 3 months but I want a partner, a soulmate, a best friend all in one.
I had all of that but he didn't want me, in the end I become a different person in our relationship, I wasn't chill, easy to talk with or understanding.
Now I see where I went wrong, I want to love again.
God I'm feeling so sorry for myself, pathetic really. I really love my body, I love it, I hate to say I love anything about myself...
but my body I love, sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror, I think about being intimate and held by someone who truly loves me.
I quite like my smile too.
The thing is I worry about getting & being older, I worry what I'll look like at 35/40/50...60!
My smile will change, my teeth wont always be this way, the same goes for my body
I wish I had someone to love now, I wish I had someone who loved me now, loved my body and smile now.
Don't know why I thought of this song
It feels good to type it out though, I know I type a lot I'm sorry.
I was with my partner for 11 years, since I was 15. The only boyfriend I've had.
He left me so unexpectedly, I went to work, come home and he was gone, now I'm indefinitely alone.
Everyday I think I'd love some friends, ffs I mean I am 27!! I'd love a partner and I want it to be like my last relationship
we were stuck together, we did everything together, some say that's unhealthy, I can see why, deep down though that was the best love of my life!
Some say "I'm alone" yet they usually have children or actual real friends that would do something for them, I have none of that.
No one to even borrow a £1 from, I don't like saying these negative things, I want to manifest positivity into my life.
With this virus I can't do anything about socialising, a part of me wishes I could meet new people. I want life to be back to normal.
The only person I have is my grandmother and I'm not exaggerating.
My grandmother I love so much, she is amazing, honestly don't know where I'd be without her.
It's my own fault for being alone, I avoided friends for 11 years, they've become different people now, people I don't "vibe" with
(I'm currently reading Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King, some self help because I need positivity to keep going)
Yeah I talk a lot of crap here but in person I'm quite chill, easy to talk with, understanding.
I have a good sense humour and I'm actually shy, not always a good trait.
I'm not a know-it-all, I truly love to listen, learn something new and be around people.
Some people from work ask me how I am sometimes over fb, let's face it though, they're just work colleagues
none of them are my age, I love them they're great people but I want friends my age with similar interests.
I say I want friends, a partner but I don't want to talk with people in person, I don't trust people anymore
I'm scared I'll be hurt if I make a close connection to someone.
For 11 years my daily conversations were with him, only him. If I needed to talk about annnnnything, it was with him.
Maybe this is too soon, I've been single 3 months but I want a partner, a soulmate, a best friend all in one.
I had all of that but he didn't want me, in the end I become a different person in our relationship, I wasn't chill, easy to talk with or understanding.
Now I see where I went wrong, I want to love again.
God I'm feeling so sorry for myself, pathetic really. I really love my body, I love it, I hate to say I love anything about myself...
but my body I love, sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror, I think about being intimate and held by someone who truly loves me.
I quite like my smile too.
The thing is I worry about getting & being older, I worry what I'll look like at 35/40/50...60!
My smile will change, my teeth wont always be this way, the same goes for my body
I wish I had someone to love now, I wish I had someone who loved me now, loved my body and smile now.
Don't know why I thought of this song
