Venting I really need to vent, please hear me out

[struggles_inc]

I've been suffering nicotine and alcohol withdrawal for a week now. Nervous tics and tremors are normal for me now.
It's my 4th month in a completely new country. Acclimatising hits hard sometimes. I don't find common ground with everyone.
I'm finally doing something good with my business. But it's nerve wrecking, because my idea is risky. On Thursday I have a really important and stressful meeting.
Since I'm completing my Master's degree, I also have exams this month, but frankly it doesn't worry me as much as everything else. You can retake an exam but can't retake life.

I'm fucking going nuts. Constantly on the edge. I'm trying to do something good with my life, going to the gym, meeting people, but… fuck, my nerves are just… on fire.

I think it was a bad idea to withdraw from cigarettes and alcohol at the same time. Double withdrawal makes me go literally crazy.

 

[matt1968]

Well done for doing what you're doing. That's a lot while feeling as you are.

 

[struggles_inc]

Well done for doing what you're doing. That's a lot while feeling as you are.

Thank you. Maybe that's too much. I feel irritated every time someone asks me about some task. Overwhelming.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Hi. I have gotten rid of the craving for cigarettes by eating nicotine packs. I've noticed how my health has improved in the last couple of weeks and it's encouraged me to stay on the path I've chosen, but every now and then when strong emotions (e.g. sadness) fall, I'd like to seek relief from this or alcohol. It's harder to give up alcohol, but I've noticed that when I drink black tea, I don't have as strong an urge to drink alcohol. I guess it's because l-theanine produces alpha waves in the brain just like alcohol.

 

[Hardcore_Henry]

you're going through hell im sure, but at least you're taking steps. and congratulations on your masters! i'm doing the same and i know it's a bitch to do lol.

 

[struggles_inc]

Hi. I have gotten rid of the craving for cigarettes by eating nicotine packs. I've noticed how my health has improved in the last couple of weeks and it's encouraged me to stay on the path I've chosen, but every now and then when strong emotions (e.g. sadness) fall, I'd like to seek relief from this or alcohol. It's harder to give up alcohol, but I've noticed that when I drink black tea, I don't have as strong an urge to drink alcohol. I guess it's because l-theanine produces alpha waves in the brain just like alcohol.

Someone suggested eating nicotine, but the issue is, that's still nicotine. I don't have a problem with lungs thankfully but I have heart issues. I guess for heart it doesn't matter in which form nicotine gets into blood.
I'll try tea. Hopefully it will help, because the cravings are insane.
Thank you so much

you're going through hell im sure, but at least you're taking steps. and congratulations on your masters! i'm doing the same and i know it's a bitch to do lol.

Yeah. Especially group assignments. I hate them so much.
Had one for every subject this semester. Drives me mad.

 

[CocoToxBase]

Stranger to stranger I am genuinely proud of you and you should be yourself. Personally as a child I watch my mum grow up abusing alcohol and it was the saddest thing to see. I would beg and cry my eyes out to her but she never listened because of the addiction. When I was 12 she started abusing drugs as well ad alcohol. 4 months ago she got rushed into hospital because her liver started failing after 13 years of drinking and drugs. She was in hospital for 3 months so she had no option to quit. It was hard to watch especially with her losing so much weight. Talking to my mum for the first time not intoxicated was strange but it's something I'll have to get used to because she swears she will never do it again. So I am genuinely proud of you, withdrawals suck but I believe you can get through this

 

[struggles_inc]

Stranger to stranger I am genuinely proud of you and you should be yourself. Personally as a child I watch my mum grow up abusing alcohol and it was the saddest thing to see. I would beg and cry my eyes out to her but she never listened because of the addiction. When I was 12 she started abusing drugs as well ad alcohol. 4 months ago she got rushed into hospital because her liver started failing after 13 years of drinking and drugs. She was in hospital for 3 months so she had no option to quit. It was hard to watch especially with her losing so much weight. Talking to my mum for the first time not intoxicated was strange but it's something I'll have to get used to because she swears she will never do it again. So I am genuinely proud of you, withdrawals suck but I believe you can get through this

Hopefully your mom will get better soon. It's never too late.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

Hey man, I've been suffering from nicotine and alcohol addiction for over a few years now. I drink myself to sleep, I wake up wishing that last night was truly my last. I'm putting off responsibilities, I'm sabotaging everything in my life and I still don't feel like quitting. I would blame it on some parasite inside my head which is compelling me to make all these irrational choices, but I know that's not true. I know it's just me. I know I'm the reason I'm in the position I am. I'm pretty sure when I CTB, if someone tried to trace back where it all went wrong, it'd be my substance abuse.

What you did took a lot of courage. I've fucked my life up beyond measure and I'm still going down the same path with my foot on the accelerator. You chose to hit the brakes and see if it was still possible to stop. Thing is, it takes a while after you press the brakes and the car comes to a stop. Most people are too afraid of that "While", to even hit that brake. I think your frustration and anxiety and all these feelings which are rushing through your head that makes you want to reach for that bottle or that last pack of cigarettes are all valid. But ask yourself this, do you really want to go back to where you were before you decided to stop?

None of us in this forum are "Healthy" or "Happy" or whatever positive adjectives normal people like to use, but I don't think any of us want the others to be miserable just cause they are as well. I can't win over my demons, but if you're trying to fight them, I'll root for you.

 

[struggles_inc]

Hey man, I've been suffering from nicotine and alcohol addiction for over a few years now. I drink myself to sleep, I wake up wishing that last night was truly my last. I'm putting off responsibilities, I'm sabotaging everything in my life and I still don't feel like quitting. I would blame it on some parasite inside my head which is compelling me to make all these irrational choices, but I know that's not true. I know it's just me. I know I'm the reason I'm in the position I am. I'm pretty sure when I CTB, if someone tried to trace back where it all went wrong, it'd be my substance abuse.

What you did took a lot of courage. I've fucked my life up beyond measure and I'm still going down the same path with my foot on the accelerator. You chose to hit the brakes and see if it was still possible to stop. Thing is, it takes a while after you press the brakes and the car comes to a stop. Most people are too afraid of that "While", to even hit that brake. I think your frustration and anxiety and all these feelings which are rushing through your head that makes you want to reach for that bottle or that last pack of cigarettes are all valid. But ask yourself this, do you really want to go back to where you were before you decided to stop?

None of us in this forum are "Healthy" or "Happy" or whatever positive adjectives normal people like to use, but I don't think any of us want the others to be miserable just cause they are as well. I can't win over my demons, but if you're trying to fight them, I'll root for you.

I'll try to beat it for you my dude. If I can do it, you can too.

 

[absolutelyyou]

I've been suffering nicotine and alcohol withdrawal for a week now. Nervous tics and tremors are normal for me now.
It's my 4th month in a completely new country. Acclimatising hits hard sometimes. I don't find common ground with everyone.
I'm finally doing something good with my business. But it's nerve wrecking, because my idea is risky. On Thursday I have a really important and stressful meeting.
Since I'm completing my Master's degree, I also have exams this month, but frankly it doesn't worry me as much as everything else. You can retake an exam but can't retake life.

I'm fucking going nuts. Constantly on the edge. I'm trying to do something good with my life, going to the gym, meeting people, but… fuck, my nerves are just… on fire.

I think it was a bad idea to withdraw from cigarettes and alcohol at the same time. Double withdrawal makes me go literally crazy.

Holy shit dude this is amazing. Like not only are you going through withdrawal (shit is awful and going off more than one thing at once is exponentially harder!!), you're in a new country, keeping up with personal and mental hygiene by staying active and putting yourself out their socially, all while trying to balance a Masters program. I'm in awe, genuinely. I feel like you are living in the (rightful) stress of it all and aren't able to see it like a stranger looking in can- you are doing incredibly even if it feels like drowning. You dont know me but I am so proud of you. With time life will settle down and hopefully your stress levels can drop, the feeling of drowning can stop and you'll manage to just float while you take time breathe, and maybe soon enough you'll be walking out of the water entirely, friend. You'll adapt more to your new environment. You'll find people, places, and/or things (everyone needs nouns!) that make where you are slowly feel more like home whether or not you find lots of people you relate to deeply. Your words speak of stress and anxiety but I read a lot of hope in them and I have a lot of hope for you too. I'm here if you ever wanna talk :)

Edit: I didnt even mention the business venture!! I'll be sending you good energy tomorrow!

 

[struggles_inc]

Holy shit dude this is amazing. Like not only are you going through withdrawal (shit is awful and going off more than one thing at once is exponentially harder!!), you're in a new country, keeping up with personal and mental hygiene by staying active and putting yourself out their socially, all while trying to balance a Masters program. I'm in awe, genuinely. I feel like you are living in the (rightful) stress of it all and aren't able to see it like a stranger looking in can- you are doing incredibly even if it feels like drowning. You dont know me but I am so proud of you. With time life will settle down and hopefully your stress levels can drop, the feeling of drowning can stop and you'll manage to just float while you take time breathe, and maybe soon enough you'll be walking out of the water entirely, friend. You'll adapt more to your new environment. You'll find people, places, and/or things (everyone needs nouns!) that make where you are slowly feel more like home whether or not you find lots of people you relate to deeply. Your words speak of stress and anxiety but I read a lot of hope in them and I have a lot of hope for you too. I'm here if you ever wanna talk :)

Edit: I didnt even mention the business venture!! I'll be sending you good energy tomorrow!

Thank you so much for your kind words. There are not too many people who care. I wish I could give you some of my hope and make you happier too, because you are so kind and you deserve that.