Help I Really Hate Life But Can’t KMS

[DeIetedUser4739]

I didn't have an easy method up until a few days ago and thought it'd be great as I could die anytime I wanted, but now whenever i look at the packet my mind goes blank and I can't even open it.

It's the exact same feeling like when I've been standing on a bridge and looking down just feeling frozen unable to move with no thoughts whatsoever.

I'm not even thinking about the attempt failing or what happens after we die - just completely nothing, like my mind shuts down to prevent it killing itself.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

I didn't have an easy method up until a few days ago and thought it'd be great as I could die anytime I wanted, but now whenever i look at the packet my mind goes blank and I can't even open it.

It's the exact same feeling like when I've been standing on a bridge and looking down just feeling frozen unable to move with no thoughts whatsoever.

I'm not even thinking about the attempt failing or what happens after we die - just completely nothing, like my mind shuts down to prevent it killing itself.

wow i'm exactly the same
it's as if i have no thoughts at all

 

[cowboypants]

I didn't have an easy method up until a few days ago and thought it'd be great as I could die anytime I wanted, but now whenever i look at the packet my mind goes blank and I can't even open it.

It's the exact same feeling like when I've been standing on a bridge and looking down just feeling frozen unable to move with no thoughts whatsoever.

I'm not even thinking about the attempt failing or what happens after we die - just completely nothing, like my mind shuts down to prevent it killing itself.

Same. I'm not sure if I'm peace with ctbing. I feel numb about it. Even though I have been suicidal most of my life. I feel like I can do it but i have thoughts like this is the only life I got

 

[Dark Window]

I didn't have an easy method up until a few days ago and thought it'd be great as I could die anytime I wanted, but now whenever i look at the packet my mind goes blank and I can't even open it.

It's the exact same feeling like when I've been standing on a bridge and looking down just feeling frozen unable to move with no thoughts whatsoever.

I'm not even thinking about the attempt failing or what happens after we die - just completely nothing, like my mind shuts down to prevent it killing itself.

May I ask the reasons for you wanting to CTB?

 

[lizzywizzy09]

And it sucks because pro lifers will gloat and say "See!? You want to live!" No. I want to not be alive, it's just that the act of making that happen on your own goes against hardwired instincts we have no control over.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

May I ask the reasons for you wanting to CTB?

Brain damage from Antipsychotics and the feeling life is pointless.

 

[dinosavr]

I don't get it why so many of us feel this way and yet there's no place for us to go. You won't get help unless you truly want to contribute to therapy, engaging good habits etc. But what if we don't? Personally, I would love to want it but I just don't. So what if what we want is to die? And if it's not a temporary idea but constant state of mind? Are we supposed to just rot in here and wait for death to set us free??? Sick!!!!!!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Living is difficult dying is even more difficult. Unfortunately most of us are suffering from this fact.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Survival instinct is a fucker.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

Same. I'm not sure if I'm peace with ctbing. I feel numb about it. Even though I have been suicidal most of my life. I feel like I can do it but i have thoughts like this is the only life I got

feeling of numbness is the worst

 

[korobka_s_konfetami]

Same. Last summer I almost managed to CTB, but at the last moment something clicked in me, and I just sat there crying for maybe half an hour. Then I made some pancakes and started watching Breaking Bad. As it was mentioned before in this thread, "Living is difficult, but dying is even more difficult". Let's hope everyone in this forum finds peace of mind - one way or another

 

[Onelegman]

Living is difficult dying is even more difficult. Unfortunately most of us are suffering from this fact.

No, living is difficult, dying is easy, as long as you are not the one who causes your death.

 

[lnlybnny]

Been wanting to ctb for over 10 years but now that I have a plan I even lack the courage to buy the materials

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

There are competing different beliefs in the brain. For example I can say I want to quit watching youtube and work on this project but then I end up watching youtube for 6 hours. 2 competing different beliefs.

Imo we are given zero education about what a human is , how the brain works how to change habits , what is reality even etc . The fact is a human is just a brain . Now shouldn't they tell how it works? So people then fall for all this afterlife , reincarnation, soul , ghost bs

Here is excerpts from a summary of book about the brain.

Incognito by David Eagleman

This is a book summary of Incognito by David Eagleman. Read this Incognito summary to review key ideas and lessons from the book.

jamesclear.com

The Book in Three Sentences

"Conscious thought has a surprisingly small impact on your life and most of your behaviors are driven by the unconscious mind. There are competing beliefs within your unconscious mind that are all battling for the single output of your conscious behavior. The complex interactions between your genetics and your environment determine the trajectory of your life."

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer, it must be dreadful and tiring being stuck in that situation. But anyway best wishes.

 

[itsneverbeenmoreove]

The numbness really sucks. For me it's been leading to dissociation and derealization and it's just a really unpleasant experience, worse than the normal suffering. I just want the pain and the dread and the meaninglessness and the hopelessness and everything else to stop, but I can't make it stop.

 

[F@#$]

I didn't have an easy method up until a few days ago and thought it'd be great as I could die anytime I wanted, but now whenever i look at the packet my mind goes blank and I can't even open it.

It's the exact same feeling like when I've been standing on a bridge and looking down just feeling frozen unable to move with no thoughts whatsoever.

I'm not even thinking about the attempt failing or what happens after we die - just completely nothing, like my mind shuts down to prevent it killing itself.

I think I have the same issue.