I don't understand why I should keep living. I lost my girlfriend, and I could never love again.
I lost my brother, who was my best friend.
They were the only people that understood me and gave me true love. I only felt affection for them. Everytime I speak to one of my so called friends, I shiver thinking about how shallow, self-entitled and dumb they are. They are there when you're nice, when you're useful, when you've got money, or if you're funny and they want someone to spend time.
But if you're in need? You're a ghost.
If you're different? You're a monster.
You're strange. Weird. They don't want you around. They wouldn't help you if you needed help. Maybe for a moment, just to feel better with themselves, but after that?
Go away, and keep your problems with you.
What's the point in a life where you, if you're lucky, work, get back home surrounded by loneliness, unsolvable loneliness because of the hundreds of people you met, no one, and I mean NO ONE, was someone who could truly care about you?
How am I supposed to believe shit like "you need to live for yourself"?
I don't want to. It's a punishment.
The only reason I could envision surviving here, is waiting until AIs and robots become much more common, and surrounding myself with the perfect version of the people I loved in the past.
But how long should I go on? Is that even a possibility? And if I don't find a well paid job, I won't be able to afford that.
What, some more 15 years of suffering and loneliness?
Why shouldn't I simply go to the next world, and call it quits…
I wonder, how long will my SN last? How much time do I have, to sort out if I can handle this shit for even a few more days, or god forbid, months? I don't see the point.
I lost my brother, who was my best friend.
They were the only people that understood me and gave me true love. I only felt affection for them. Everytime I speak to one of my so called friends, I shiver thinking about how shallow, self-entitled and dumb they are. They are there when you're nice, when you're useful, when you've got money, or if you're funny and they want someone to spend time.
But if you're in need? You're a ghost.
If you're different? You're a monster.
You're strange. Weird. They don't want you around. They wouldn't help you if you needed help. Maybe for a moment, just to feel better with themselves, but after that?
Go away, and keep your problems with you.
What's the point in a life where you, if you're lucky, work, get back home surrounded by loneliness, unsolvable loneliness because of the hundreds of people you met, no one, and I mean NO ONE, was someone who could truly care about you?
How am I supposed to believe shit like "you need to live for yourself"?
I don't want to. It's a punishment.
The only reason I could envision surviving here, is waiting until AIs and robots become much more common, and surrounding myself with the perfect version of the people I loved in the past.
But how long should I go on? Is that even a possibility? And if I don't find a well paid job, I won't be able to afford that.
What, some more 15 years of suffering and loneliness?
Why shouldn't I simply go to the next world, and call it quits…
I wonder, how long will my SN last? How much time do I have, to sort out if I can handle this shit for even a few more days, or god forbid, months? I don't see the point.
