I fainted and suffered from the most intense dizziness and all over sick feeling a few months ago. I went to the hospital convinced I was going to die. Except for very low blood pressure, tests have come back normal and after lying down for a few hours I was sent home with instructions to follow up with my GP. More tests came back negative. From research online I think I have MS or POTS - who knows - except for that horrible episode and on and off intense dizziness, its not disabling my day to day life so I doubt they'll look further.
From all of this, I realized how ready I am to die. I felt so horrible as this episode (or whatever it was) kept me so dizzy I couldn't walk for very long or far for days, and I thought I can accept this. On the one hand I really want a correct diagnosis. On the other hand I think wouldn't it be great if its terminal and I can stop working and stay home and die! Some people get sick and realize how much they love life, want to live, blah blah blah. I realized how easily I can accept death.
I don't believe in signs but if there is one, this may be my sign to make sure my will and everything is up to date. Perhaps - wishful thinking here - its a sign that I will die soon. Fingers crossed.
From all of this, I realized how ready I am to die. I felt so horrible as this episode (or whatever it was) kept me so dizzy I couldn't walk for very long or far for days, and I thought I can accept this. On the one hand I really want a correct diagnosis. On the other hand I think wouldn't it be great if its terminal and I can stop working and stay home and die! Some people get sick and realize how much they love life, want to live, blah blah blah. I realized how easily I can accept death.
I don't believe in signs but if there is one, this may be my sign to make sure my will and everything is up to date. Perhaps - wishful thinking here - its a sign that I will die soon. Fingers crossed.
