Venting i reached out to people and this is the response i got

[myopybyproxy]

for reference, this happened in a mental health and eating disorder discord server. this was the entire conversation over the course of two days last week. i dont know why i even bother. the responses and the 'help' in their suggestions make me feel even worse than i did to start. if those things dont work then i truly am beyond hope. but mostly i just feel so fucking alone in this. the mouth hole has mostly healed by now.


[me]:
spent the last hour chewing a hole in my mputh partly hanit partly anxiety i hate this i hate this i haye thid make it fucoing stop

and now intrusive thoughts tp cut my femoral artery to where i cant walk and everything is ruined i dont want to di that why is it in my head
i need to talk to someone but i have no one thrr is no oen i can trust im so fucifn tirrf
youre pathetic shut up nonone wnats to hear tour whinibg
i hate nyself j wisj i was dead​

[user 1]:
@myopy that sounds like a suicide crisis hotline or ask your parents for a trip to the ER (grippy sock) visit

Sorry none of us are equipped to handle this sort of thing priperly and ethically.​

We love u. Sorry ur suffering so.muchlately​

[user 2]: This

Please, get yourself help if you can't handle these thoughts on your own anymore​

[me]: dont pull that fucking bullshit on me

and LMAO you well meaning suggedtions are useless i already tried those
should have expected response like this whatver
people jump to psych ward when anyone whos been knows its a factory of iatrogenesis
if im triggering anyone lmk and ill shut up but dont hide behind the guise of caring
this is the sort of response i would have expected from normies​

[user 1]: No need to lash out at those just trying to offer some kind words and acknowledge your words have been seen. We all know no words are going to magically make you feel better. We've all been there and struggled with these sorts of thoughts.

We care, but that's all we can do from here Myopy.
It was a suggestion to reach out to anyone who CAN actually do something for you, not just see your pain. It's fine if that's not good enough, no one thought it was a one and done solution to your woes.​

[me]: yeah except whether they can or not, they dont do anything, they only make it worsr

my point was that there js no one that can / does​

[user 2]: Honestly, I'd rather have you pissed but alive than dead.

[me]: good god none of you fucking get it do you

its my fault for thinking this would be understandable
i would take my fucked upness somewhere else if i could but there is no place for me​

 

[Yamrajsimp]

Every server except this one has been completely useless for me. When I was trying to hang myself, I tried a bunch of those. All bullshit.

 

[fatefulstillness]

God, I'm so sorry. When it comes to the topic of suicide, people's reactions can be extremely frustrating. Not everyone is in a position to help, for sure, but the kind of rejection a suicidal person faces seems oddly scripted.

We shouldn't be avoided like we are some sort of plague or something so impossible to understand we have to be handed to someone else because we are suddenly no longer ourselves. The idea that suicide is supposedly something that can only be irrational causes so much harm. I am very angry this kind of response is so common out there. I'm sorry you were treated like this. It's not your fault.

 

[Live Free or Die]

Those are similar responses I got from friends of 30 years when I reached out when I was at my lowest. When I just needed someone there. They couldn't be bothered to offer their time to me. Time is the only thing of value we can offer anyone else. I burned those bridges, blocked them and moved on.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

View attachment 85097

Those are similar responses I got from friends of 30 years when I reached out when I was at my lowest. When I just needed someone there. They couldn't be bothered to offer their time to me. Time is the only thing of value we can offer anyone else. I burned those bridges, blocked them and moved on.

This same thing has happened to me with decades-long "friends" when I desperately needed someone to just talk with and to make me feel like at least someone cared a little bit about me. But no. I either got no response, or a smattering of fakey "I'm so sorry things are so bad for you, I hope things get better soon" triteness. WTF Of course, they have plenty of time for OTHER people, or to post photos and updates of their vacations, happy get togethers with family/friends/significant others, etc or just bullshit posts. But they had no time to help a(n alleged) friend who was in a very bad place and just needed someone to listen and care. People suck. I'm sorry you experienced the same thing with your 'friends'.

 

[LastFlowers]

[user 2]: Honestly, I'd rather have you pissed but alive than dead.

Typical. That's what the pro-life crowd always says.
"I'd rather have you [anything] but dead."
Quality of life means nothing to them, they just want us to continue inhaling and exhaling even if we're raging in suffering.

 

[_Seeking]

People have been conditioned to have such a knee jerk reaction to someone being suicidal. I've had a family member tell me suicide is always wrong, even when someone is terminal, like how does that even make sense if they are going to die shortly anyway (and in great pain)? This is the only place it can be discussed and they want to shut it down. I'm sorry you had to deal with these people's idiot responses.

 

[LoneMisery]

I found the best way is to tell people when youre not upset with something. Maybe out of the blue and try not yo use negative words like hate give up cant do it. We know its frustrating but we know for non suicidal folks its super taboo to them.
I plan on talking about it more in a more open and sober way. But i know it still wont work.

 

[Un-]

"A man walks out a homeless shelter, screaming about how they didn't give him good financial advice."

 

[myopybyproxy]

Typical. That's what the pro-life crowd always says.
"I'd rather have you [anything] but dead."
Quality of life means nothing to them, they just want us to continue inhaling and exhaling even if we're raging in suffering.

People have been conditioned to have such a knee jerk reaction to someone being suicidal. I've had a family member tell me suicide is always wrong, even when someone is terminal, like how does that even make sense if they are going to die shortly anyway (and in great pain)? This is the only place it can be discussed and they want to shut it down. I'm sorry you had to deal with these people's idiot responses.

Thank you for your solidarity. The thing that hurt the most was that I thought they would understand - they've all been suicidal at one point or another (if not currently, I've no idea). You'd think a fellow mental health struggler would get it. But they didn't. That complete disconnect was what got me. I'd expect this sort of response if I talked to my coworkers, not compatriots in an eating disorder discord server.

"A man walks out a homeless shelter, screaming about how they didn't give him good financial advice."

?