I probably shouldn’t have told him

[lithium_flower]

I probably shouldn't have told my boyfriend I attempted to hang myself before he came home from work.

I gave up after a few tries. I wanted to tell him because I'm desperately seeking help and comfort. He responded well and supportive but I feel he's getting distant. He says he isn't mad or upset or anything.

My mother thinks my condition is a joke. She thinks the meds are screwing me up and comes from the "buck up and suck it up" generation, so I can barely talk to her about these things without driving her crazy.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

Welcome.

He may need some time to adjust and he may be afraid. Did he know this might be coming?

I'm sorry you felt the need to do this, and to find us. The upside is that we're very good listeners and you can discuss any and all of your feelings here.

 

[Worndown]

How did he take the news?
I hope it allows him to be more supportive and help you to a better future.
Kind of like a Phoenix rising from the ashes.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If this just happened today, I recommend giving him space to process. Something I admire about men in general, what I've observed and that we women don't always understand (assuming OP is female), is that when things get overwhelming, guys will back off for awhile to regulate themselves and re-center. This is a really healthy way to manage. Then when they're ready, they can better address what's going on. Have you noticed this about him? Have you noticed how long it takes him to re-center? Once he has, is he open to re-engaging with the issue, or does he totally compartmentalize it and refuse to bring it back out?

 

[BearNoMore]

Please be understanding for him the same way he is about what you're going through. This is probably very hard for him to digest and surely it is scary for him to think about what to do. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions too fast. Give him some time to process things as he supports you.

I'm dealing with having told my girlfriend too (or ex, not sure if we're together at this point...but that's irrelevant here). She has been very distant after comforting me that night. Only a few words over text each day the past 5 days or so. I have my SN ready. I bookmarked my hotel. I'm thinking Friday or Saturday is my day. I'm trying to resist telling her anything, but I feel guilty if I say nothing and she's just left to find out and stuck with questions.

The bigger point is: This is hard for partners to process. Someone they love is attempting to CTB and obviously they don't want that for their partner or for the hurt it will cause them. Try not to mistake the processing for anger/mistreatment/lack of care/etc.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

I'm sure he's just glad it failed, same as we all are. Please reconsider, you have people who clearly love you. Your mom may not understand but you have your own life to live,

If you don't mind me asking what meds are you on? Asking cause anti psychotics fucked me up

Sending u good energy

Please be understanding for him the same way he is about what you're going through. This is probably very hard for him to digest and surely it is scary for him to think about what to do. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions too fast. Give him some time to process things as he supports you.

I'm dealing with having told my girlfriend too (or ex, not sure if we're together at this point...but that's irrelevant here). She has been very distant after comforting me that night. Only a few words over text each day the past 5 days or so. I have my SN ready. I bookmarked my hotel. I'm thinking Friday or Saturday is my day. I'm trying to resist telling her anything, but I feel guilty if I say nothing and she's just left to find out and stuck with questions.

The bigger point is: This is hard for partners to process. Someone they love is attempting to CTB and obviously they don't want that for their partner or for the hurt it will cause them. Try not to mistake the processing for anger/mistreatment/lack of care/etc.

Hey man I hope you're doing okay, can you share why youre deciding to CTB

 

[BearNoMore]

Hey man I hope you're doing okay, can you share why youre deciding to CTB

I tried to CTB a year and a half ago. I've had ideation first years. Honestly, I am at the lowest point of my life by far.

I don't want to hijack this thread though, so if you want to read why I'm deciding to CTB please go to my thread and reply. I'm happy to chat there:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/final-days-why-has-it-never-gotten-better.31667/

 

[lithium_flower]

Please be understanding for him the same way he is about what you're going through. This is probably very hard for him to digest and surely it is scary for him to think about what to do. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions too fast. Give him some time to process things as he supports you.

I'm dealing with having told my girlfriend too (or ex, not sure if we're together at this point...but that's irrelevant here). She has been very distant after comforting me that night. Only a few words over text each day the past 5 days or so. I have my SN ready. I bookmarked my hotel. I'm thinking Friday or Saturday is my day. I'm trying to resist telling her anything, but I feel guilty if I say nothing and she's just left to find out and stuck with questions.

The bigger point is: This is hard for partners to process. Someone they love is attempting to CTB and obviously they don't want that for their partner or for the hurt it will cause them. Try not to mistake the processing for anger/mistreatment/lack of care/etc.

Thank you. This makes a lot of sense. I will give it time. I hope you will be ok. I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. I support whatever decision you make. Please keep us updated, I hope she responds for you.

I'm sure he's just glad it failed, same as we all are. Please reconsider, you have people who clearly love you. Your mom may not understand but you have your own life to live,

If you don't mind me asking what meds are you on? Asking cause anti psychotics fucked me up

Sending u good energy


Hey man I hope you're doing okay, can you share why youre deciding to CTB

thank you, it is much needed I'm on lexapro and buspirone. I was on abilify for a bit until it worsened my anxiety. Do you think I should start weening off?

 

[bananabear]

Usually its best to quit meds under supervision of a doctor, and just saying that it has harmful side effects that you cant handle should be enough for them to give you a plan to cut it down and wean off of it. Definitely bring it up with your doctor if youre comfortable or if you end up in the hospital they also can help change your meds or give you something new. I tried cold turkey three meds at once and boy am i never doing that again.

As for the original situation, if I were imagining myself in his shoes, Id probably be scared to say anything out of fear it could be the wrong thing. Would figuratively kill me if I knew there was a chance something i said could be the cause of someone elses decision to ctb, plus sensitive topics like this can easily lead to misunderstandings and arguments. Its stressful for everyone involved