I assume you can see that self-pity used as a manipulative tool will only work for so long. Also, self-pity when applied internally, tends to be a barrier to moving on. In a way it can become a type of prison. Immobilization can be deadly. We can experience traumatic events that can parallel a car accident. If we don't get treatment or begin therapy, we tend to remain at our initial point of injury or even worsen.
.Letting go of the familiar, even if painful, can be difficult. It may be helpful to start with very small steps. For example, a person may be unemployed, but know he needs to get a job. If the idea of getting employment seems to high a hurdle, it might be made smaller by practicing with an imaginary job. If the newspaper list a particular job as being available, he might consider imagining calling the company and for an interview. He could even practice making the call with a friend.
You might wish to occasionally practice a coping skill to make sure you can call upon them if needed. In this way, should you find that circumstances change and you need to do more coping, that you won't be at as much of a disadvantage.
