i was in a bad relationship for about 5 and a half years, starting from when i was 16. Im turning 22 now. graduating college soon. Feels weird. I've been in a downward spiral ever since I got into this relationship. Now im facing the after-effects of all the rape and breach of boundaries and trust. And I need to get a hold of my life soon. I need to find a job and save and contribute financially to the household. But i also am in such a bad place mentally, constantly. And i keep blaming the ex for my wanting to die. and my lack of motivation for my future. But thats cringe (for lack of a better term lmao). i need to get my shit together. and i need to stop making excuses. But i also dont want to. I just dont want to feel like this anymore. I dont know what to do for my future since i never planned to get this far. But im going to have to go a little farther if i want to be useful.
Emotionally, I feel as though no one would care if i died. No one wants me. They only want me if they have something to gain from me. But logically i think that may not be true. Idk man. Im just tired i think.
Emotionally, I feel as though no one would care if i died. No one wants me. They only want me if they have something to gain from me. But logically i think that may not be true. Idk man. Im just tired i think.
