Venting I need to die

[Judah]

I often think this and feel weird when I feel that it is not normal.
The point is that I have concluded that my quality of life will not improve and that I will not be able to find peace of mind either, so dying has become not a tragedy, but a calming exit for me. And with the passage of time it has become a necessity.

 

[insanedoomer]

the life in yo , that keeps you alive is driving you into it anyways ; so yeah you noticed that y gonna die biologically and stop phisycal mouvement .
you only remind yrself .

 

[Wrennie]

I can relate to your situation to such a profound extent.

I've come to the rational conclusion that based on my copious medical ailments, CPTSD, OCD, BDD, PSSD, PANDAS, avoidant personality disorder & overall depressive tendencies, that my life is only a downhill slope from here on out.

Just like a long drawn-out television series that keeps being renewed despite its markedly declining quality, I too am being "renewed" long after I've passed my prime.

Logically speaking, I should put an end to things before my circumstances become even more unbearable.

My current way of living is unsustainable. There is no remedy for the 'glitches' inside of me, be they physical or mental.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel the same way. Death brings me so much comfort as it is the one solution to my problems, the one escape I have. It is gaining control over a life I never asked for in the first place. I don't see my life as improving and I have dread for the future. There is no limit as to how bad it can get.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think many of us have different problems but the quality can improve A LITTLE at least.
The problem is that depression, suicidal thoughts and so on love to make us feel like doing NOTHING.

 

[littleloup]

I, too, have that feeling creep up on me at times to the point it's almost an every day feeling. Like Matt says, quality of life can be improved by a little bit. Personally for me, that little bit isn't enough which is why I want to leave. Nothing in my life has gone the way I thought it would be with most experiences being negative. And I don't look forward to having even more negative experiences.

 

[LastFlowers]

I wouldn't say it is "calming" per se, but it has become something that simply "must be done", a necessity, as you stated.
It's the logical conclusion to an otherwise hopeless and torturous existence.

 

[listeningpost1379]

Everyone dies eventually, most people have trouble with accepting that so they build measures against thinking about it. The only people who truly should be living are those who know it will keep getting harder but want to be here regardless to see the changes (for better or worse) in themselves, in their loved ones and in the world. Wanting anything out of life other than the experience itself is inherently fruitless... just like wanting children for any other reason than to take care of another human being is wrong