Venting i need love so much it physically hurts

[obsessiveDreamer]

i can't go on like this. i want to love somebody and i want somebody to love me. i have bpd so all my youth i've been obsessing over people who don't give a flying fuck about me. i just want to hold someone close, to hear someone say i should live, that someone would be very sad if i kill myself, but i can't just find that person. nobody i ever liked cared about me. i'm nothing to them. if only i had someone, i would acquire the meaning to live, to get off the bed, to study, to make art, to feel emotions, to exist.

i don't feel "whole". i feel like there's a gaping hole in the core of my personality. sometimes i feel like i don't exist at all.

i feel lost all the time, i feel like i'm the only one who's factory defect everywhere. if only somebody loved me… if only i was needed and wanted… i would feel "completed". i would feel "correct" and "right". i would feel i exist.

i have so much love inside me, actually. i just have no one to give it to.

 

[EternalShore]

yeah, I completely understand and same~ :( nobody wants to talk to me at all irl, and I always do my best to be sooo nice to everyone, and all they do is just use and abuse me! :/ it sucks lots! :(((
Living life without love when you need it is the worst~ :( And then people hate and abuse you for being depressed when their lack of love for you is exactly what's causing it in the first place! >:( it's like no one cares, and everyone is selfish~ :(
I wish both of the best in finding love~ <3

 

[SuicidalMob]

I'm really sorry to hear the I have been lonely for about 1.5 year now I really want to talk to someone, Idk if you wanna talk, I'm also very nice to people and everybody hates me. Litterly no one loves me.
Haven't talked to anybody since we shifted to a new place, I told my friends that I'm suicidal they straight up ignored me, ...... Idk if we can talk I'll be more than happy to listen to your stuff and share mine.You can private message *PM* me if you wanna talk I think it will really help us both. I don't know what this called but I. Getting these heatwaves of sadness while I'm writing this.AND YEAH THIS DOES HURT PHYSICALLY And EMOTIONALLY
Ok, take care ❤ I hope you and I can find a better life, I'll be waiting for your response☺

 

[rebelnow111]

i can't go on like this. i want to love somebody and i want somebody to love me. i have bpd so all my youth i've been obsessing over people who don't give a flying fuck about me. i just want to hold someone close, to hear someone say i should live, that someone would be very sad if i kill myself, but i can't just find that person. nobody i ever liked cared about me. i'm nothing to them. if only i had someone, i would acquire the meaning to live, to get off the bed, to study, to make art, to feel emotions, to exist.

i don't feel "whole". i feel like there's a gaping hole in the core of my personality. sometimes i feel like i don't exist at all.

i feel lost all the time, i feel like i'm the only one who's factory defect everywhere. if only somebody loved me… if only i was needed and wanted… i would feel "completed". i would feel "correct" and "right". i would feel i exist.

i have so much love inside me, actually. i just have no one to give it to.

i know the feeling

 

[allgoodthanks]

i can't go on like this. i want to love somebody and i want somebody to love me. i have bpd so all my youth i've been obsessing over people who don't give a flying fuck about me. i just want to hold someone close, to hear someone say i should live, that someone would be very sad if i kill myself, but i can't just find that person. nobody i ever liked cared about me. i'm nothing to them. if only i had someone, i would acquire the meaning to live, to get off the bed, to study, to make art, to feel emotions, to exist.

i don't feel "whole". i feel like there's a gaping hole in the core of my personality. sometimes i feel like i don't exist at all.

i feel lost all the time, i feel like i'm the only one who's factory defect everywhere. if only somebody loved me… if only i was needed and wanted… i would feel "completed". i would feel "correct" and "right". i would feel i exist.

i have so much love inside me, actually. i just have no one to give it to.

Hope you will find that person, and that you will find them soon! My story is similar to yours so I understand every word :). Having someone to love is like an anchor you can hold on to that can keep you from falling into the abyss. Or maybe it's just us who think this way because we are suicidal. Maybe nobody really cares about others and they want to be around people who bring some value into their lives. We may never know, because plenty of people still ctb even if they have someone to love. Probably we just have this idealistic, comforting opinion about love, it just feels like fantasy, something we can think about to escape the turmoil inside our heads!