I nearly killed myself this year because i couldn't cope anymore with the online social media abuse and mob mentality

[FireFox]

I never used to understand how an individual can be driven to suicide from social media comments on a screen sent from strangers you will never see until only this year when I became so low and suicidal over months of social media abuse mob mentality after making controversial comments on a platform. It was NEVER my intention to upset anyone. I have apologised for the harm and feel remorse. I am here to talk about how online hate really feels and why an individuals end up killing themselves. I am very open about my anoxeria and body image issues, I am annoymus online. I wish I had normal thoughts,.

Here is the full story which I shared on here about the events leading to online hate: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/everyone-hates-me.96108/

Seeing the never ending hate comments, judgement blowing up on my timeline even though the comments were just hurtful words on a screen it just felt like an entire angry legion of people were this mob gathered outside my home with their knives and pitchforks ready to break the door down and hurt me. I felt so powerless as insult after insult, criticism after criticism on how i am a horrible person, a weirdo, accusations of trolling, was coming towards me like an avalanche. The women who were offended leading the online mob was all acting as judge, jury and executioner some of these women were grown women in their 40s or with children.

All the hate made me feel like the worst person in the world and everyone hated me. I apologised to the victim of my comments. The victim blamed my comments for her mental health problems which was why I felt so guilty, absolutely guilty. Online abuse can make an individual feel they are the worst person in the world for some it is too much.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people are just so cruel and it's terrible the way that many people treat others. There is certainly enough suffering already in this world without other people making things worse. I just think that sometimes it's best not to open up about our struggles. Many others will never be able to understand. When I hear of the way that many people behave towards others it just makes me want to leave this world even more. It's such a horrible, unfair world.

 

[Pluto]

Sorry to hear you have gone through this. The first question: do these people have access to your personal accounts or is this just abuse happening on a particular online community? If it's the latter, all that is needed is departing the community via pressing a few buttons rather than exiting planet Earth. If it's the former, there should be means of improving your privacy settings.

I was expecting some serious transgression, but it sounds like you just opined a sense of frustration about personal characteristics.

Most subcultures, particularly highly-strung political groups, have a default narrative, and conformity of opinion within strict boundaries is expected. When people take themselves extremely seriously, through being on a self-appointed mission to save the world or through being in the throes of PTSD-induced hypersensitivity, the tolerance for dissent is reduced to virtually nil. And the consequences for overstepping the line would be a gang-bashing like what you've experienced.

I'm like you in the sense that I would agree with 85% of what people might say on a group like that, but because I'd have points of contention or my own angle around certain issues, I would simply avoid the communities outright lest I be branded a foe for minor deviations of the groupthink.

 

[CTB Dream]

Human really cruel online harm no joke really harmful. People underestimate put cruel response down vote etc think normal think other person only username. Many people damage even ctb comment special anonymous reddit come attack some people trauma some people hurt feel ctb comment can do that humans cruel sorry suffer. Addition this one person let alone community avoid vommunity best all make rule make minority outside not allow different type people better avoid human really harmful communities worse mob mentalities lower intelligence one person. Really sorry hurt human not safe anywhere

 

[theboy]

stupid bulling. ruining lives since time immemorial.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I understand your point, but as far as I'm concerned, as soon as you felt remorse and apologized, your end of it was done. The onus was on them to forgive, and if they can't do that, fuck them. You did the right thing, they did not. They're the pieces of shit. The world's full of these holier-than-though types of people whose shit doesn't stink and who never make mistakes (in their minds).

 

[makethepainstop]

I never used to understand how an individual can be driven to suicide from social media comments on a screen sent from strangers you will never see until only this year when I became so low and suicidal over months of social media abuse mob mentality after making controversial comments on a platform. It was NEVER my intention to upset anyone. I have apologised for the harm and feel remorse. I am here to talk about how online hate really feels and why an individuals end up killing themselves. I am very open about my anoxeria and body image issues, I am annoymus online. I wish I had normal thoughts,.

Here is the full story which I shared on here about the events leading to online hate: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/everyone-hates-me.96108/

Seeing the never ending hate comments, judgement blowing up on my timeline even though the comments were just hurtful words on a screen it just felt like an entire angry legion of people were this mob gathered outside my home with their knives and pitchforks ready to break the door down and hurt me. I felt so powerless as insult after insult, criticism after criticism on how i am a horrible person, a weirdo, accusations of trolling, was coming towards me like an avalanche. The women who were offended leading the online mob was all acting as judge, jury and executioner some of these women were grown women in their 40s or with children.

All the hate made me feel like the worst person in the world and everyone hated me. I apologised to the victim of my comments. The victim blamed my comments for her mental health problems which was why I felt so guilty, absolutely guilty. Online abuse can make an individual feel they are the worst person in the world for some it is too much.

My dear friend, never allow mean people to rain on your parade, they are worth less than the gum stuck on the sole of a shoe. You are of value, you are not wrong, you are yourself, and that is as it should and must be. Love and hugs to all our co-sufferers here.

 

[FireFox]

I understand your point, but as far as I'm concerned, as soon as you felt remorse and apologized, your end of it was done. The onus was on them to forgive, and if they can't do that, fuck them. You did the right thing, they did not. They're the pieces of shit. The world's full of these holier-than-though types of people whose shit doesn't stink and who never make mistakes (in their minds).

@locked*n*loaded I spent the past couple of months feeling absolute pure guilt because the woman really complained about how my comments on brown eyes and black hair made her feel so bad about herself and she has severe mental health issues already and has had difficult life so I was really worried. It was the guilt made me suicidal and almost drove me to suicide as these feelings were just awful.

I did everything I could to fix the damage first by publicly apologising to the woman, taking full responsibility for my actions and trying to build a good relationship but in the end I now have nothing to feel guilty about anymore because the woman herself is actually a horrible woman eventually it began to show. I never met a human being so spiteful, so judgemental and just so pure hateful.

After she accepted my apology she wanted to message me on discord and we got on so well, i thought i found a friend. We both shared stories of how our teenage years effected as adults. I shared how the humiliation and pure disrespect from boys I loved made hate the features I have that is why i dont like having dark brown eyes and black hair. The guys I liked including the non white always picked the white girls over me, one of them even worst of all racially abused me. The black boys in my class always made fun of the black girls appearance, I was a regular target of their bullying, misogyny whereas they were nicer to the white girls.

The woman then makes public our private discussions on discord to her feminist friends on social media. She was mocking me and even my attacked my privileged upbringing. She goes on about how she is a rape survivor and I am a weak individual for being upset over the rejection I experienced from men throughout my life. Her feminist friends she applauded her and laughed at her jokes about me. She blocked me on discord over something petty and then decides to publise it.

After that I finally stopped guilty because she is an actually a miserable evil b*tch. I made mistakes, but I will never ever reveal private discussions or gossip about anyone ever this i how i have always lived. She is uses transphobic slurs on social media left, right, centre. She even mocked her old childhood friend for transitioning into a man. She was publicly showing his Facebook account as well. She spends her time gets mad at transgender news culture wars stuff on social media.

Sorry to hear you have gone through this. The first question: do these people have access to your personal accounts or is this just abuse happening on a particular online community? If it's the latter, all that is needed is departing the community via pressing a few buttons rather than exiting planet Earth. If it's the former, there should be means of improving your privacy settings.

I was expecting some serious transgression, but it sounds like you just opined a sense of frustration about personal characteristics.

Most subcultures, particularly highly-strung political groups, have a default narrative, and conformity of opinion within strict boundaries is expected. When people take themselves extremely seriously, through being on a self-appointed mission to save the world or through being in the throes of PTSD-induced hypersensitivity, the tolerance for dissent is reduced to virtually nil. And the consequences for overstepping the line would be a gang-bashing like what you've experienced.

I'm like you in the sense that I would agree with 85% of what people might say on a group like that, but because I'd have points of contention or my own angle around certain issues, I would simply avoid the communities outright lest I be branded a foe for minor deviations of the groupthink.

@Pluto When talking about issues I am very passionate, outspoken and I do ask very difficult questions I admit sometimes I go too far. If I cause harm or hurt then I do apologise and take full responsibility for my actions.

The point I was trying to make is society favours and loves blue eyes more than brown eyes, the existence of scientific technology to help couples choose an eye colour for their unborn baby is evidence of societies favourism and absolute love regarding blue eyes this is a point i raised with evidence on my social media thread. It is a fact couples in the United States of America to use Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) choose their unborn child's sex and eye color and there has even been debate on whether should this practice be regulated in the USA because in European countries the use PGD is restricted and regulated. In the UK where i live couples using sperm or egg donors have requested egg and sperm donors have blue eyes or a particular eye colour the couple desires this is a practice that is happening in the UK and other western countries.

People use these treatments because they do not see brown eyes as an attractive eye colour and that is why the market for these fertility treatments and clincs providing these services is booming and is a industry worth billions. It is unethical such treatments are allowed to exist and I emphasised this a lot.

I admit the choice of language I adopted was very poor and inflammatory but it is a fact society loves blues eyes a lot.

Just rescently on reddit I discovered an old thread where mixed race people of colour discussed how their own parents were disappointed thier kids had brown eyes and others even discussed how they knew families who wanted their kids or grandchildren to have either the blue eye or green eyes that the family had.

It was so sad and heartbreaking to read the repiles.

We have a very big problem in society.

 

[FireFox]

Human really cruel online harm no joke really harmful. People underestimate put cruel response down vote etc think normal think other person only username. Many people damage even ctb comment special anonymous reddit come attack some people trauma some people hurt feel ctb comment can do that humans cruel sorry suffer. Addition this one person let alone community avoid vommunity best all make rule make minority outside not allow different type people better avoid human really harmful communities worse mob mentalities lower intelligence one person. Really sorry hurt human not safe anywhere

@CTB Dream It was the absolute guilt and personal attacks on my character that made me suicidal and almost drove me to suicide as these feelings were just awful and so tormenting. The woman really complained about how my comments on brown eyes and black hair made her feel so bad about herself, how needs a social media break because of me and she has severe mental health issues already and has had difficult life so I was really worried and felt bad. I never intended to cause hurt. I apologised and took full responsibility.

When talking about issues I am very passionate, outspoken and I do ask very difficult questions naturally I am like that and always been like that. Yes I acknowledge I do go too far at times I don't mean too. I have reputation for being controversial ever since my teens so I am used to criticism.

I can take criticism for my views and value open debate but when to comes to abuse, attacks on my character it is something which does hurt a lot.

The personal criticism made me feel like I was a very bad evil person and even I began questioning myself a lot, my experiences of life that made me have those views and I even doubted myself a lot too. Even the accusations of being called a racist was the worst one. I am black and have opened up about my own experiences of racism one social media and then to be called one was just hurtful. I even had to explain my own experiences of racism and rejection made me hate my body. I began to doubt myself completely. It was mental torture, pure mental torture. .

My argument was society loves blue eyes more than brown eyes, the existence of scientific technology to help couples choose an eye colour for their unborn baby is evidence of societies favourism and absolute love regarding blue eyes this is a point i raised with evidence on my social media thread. It is a fact couples in the United States of America to use Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) choose their unborn child's sex and eye color and there has even been debate on whether should this practice be regulated in the USA because in European countries the use PGD is restricted and regulated. In the UK where i live couples using sperm or egg donors have requested egg and sperm donors have blue eyes or a particular eye colour the couple desires this is a practice that is happening in the UK and other western countries.

People use these treatments because they do not see brown eyes as an attractive eye colour and that is why the market for these fertility treatments and clincs providing these services is booming and is a industry worth billions. It is unethical such treatments are allowed to exist and I emphasised this a lot.

I admit the choice of language I adopted was very poor and inflammatory but it is a fact society loves blues eyes a lot. I was criticising my OWN eyes because I don't feel attractive having dark brown eyes. I am very open and too open about my anoxeria, body image issues.

The women participating in the online mob and some of them were mothers it was so disturbing because what are they teaching their children? This is why school bullying will never end because too many parents do not raise their children to think critically and not to follow the crowd. Every woman in the online mob who disagreed with me constantly argued how they were so offended and how I am a bad person, "a werido" rather looking at the fact we live in a very shallow society that sees certain features a human being possess more valuable than others. I provided evidence for my arguments.

In the end I stopped feeling guilty because the woman who complained about me actually is a very horrible person. I never met a human being so spiteful in my life.

After she accepted my apology she wanted to message me on discord. We both shared stories of how our teenage years effected as adults. I really thought I found a friend because we have similarities actually we later discovered.

I shared with her how the humiliation and pure disrespect from boys I loved made hate the features I have. The guys I liked including the non white always picked the white girls over me, one of them even worst of all racially abused me. The black boys in my class always made fun of the black girls appearance, I was a regular target of their bullying, misogyny whereas they were nicer to the white girls.

The woman makes public our private discussions on discord to her feminist friends on the feminist social platform. She was mocking me and then goes on about how she is a strong rape survivor and I am a weak individual for being upset over the rejection I experienced from men throughout my life.

I later discovered this woman is a transphobic bigot.She throws transphobic slurs left right and centre and even mocked her old friend for transitioning. She was publicly showing his Facebook account as well. She gets mad at transgender news culture wars social media stuff online and the woman has no life.

In the end I had nothing to feel guilty about anymore because I did everything possible to fix the harm I caused. I apologised, showed genuine remorse and took full responsibility for my actions.

stupid bulling. ruining lives since time immemorial.

@theboy this is what f*cking irritates me people in society express shock whenever someone kills themselves and start preaching about mental health saying " why didn't reach out this is so sad oh my god" or tweet the number of the suicide hotline when a celebrity kills themselves.

What are the f*ck were people expecting to happen?

We live in a toxic world where people like to look down upon others different to them, excluding them socially and always being so mean and showing no kindness to their fellow human being and so judgemental as hell when people do open about their problems.

This is toxic society will unfortunately led to some people ending their own lives. After all why should a person live in a world where nobody wants them around, judges whenever they open up about their problems.

The same hypocritical arseholes who tweet the suicide hotline number whenever a celebrity kills themselves are the same people that participate and perpetuate a system of bullying, excluding other people and failing to show kindness to their fellow human being. These sanctimonious arseholes can't see they are part of the problem.

The women participating in the online mob judging, condemning me, bullying me some of them were mothers it was so disturbing because what are they teaching their children? This is why school bullying will never end because too many parents do not raise their children to think critically and not to follow the crowd. That was the most disturbing of all.

I acknowledge my comments were a very poor choice of words but the women in the online mob judging me, attacking my character, expressing their anger and offence towards me are acting as if they are better than me. The amount of never ending comments lecturing me about how I am a bad person, "all irises are beautiful" "you are so offensive " was just pure insanity these people remind me of those mean christians in the church who think they are superior to others just because they follow a certain set of beliefs. It was just disturbing to experience and it was a feminist secular women's forum. These women mirror the similarities of the Christians I grew up with and it is sooo scary

I wish I didn't think these things but my own experiences of racism and rejection and humiliation from guys made me hate my body and the self loathing. I am just product of society. People should be condemning the system and society that made me like that way in the first place. Monsters are not born they are made.

Society and all its hypocritical arseholes can go f*ck themselves. Suicide prevention is the biggest hypocrisy ever.

 

[CTB Dream]

Understand how feel human small problem turn big snowball always conflict, see out no see in loom only nothing more, human same no improve keep fight toxic pretend never problem think ctb strange truth ctb mNy human reason toxic cruel. Human one can make mistake other not turb mistsjr fire instead water

 

[ever so lonely]

social media has so much to answer for, does anybody else feel it has damaged society in many ways, like social media has made people so fickle and superficial, and has damaged relationships does anybody here agree plus i swear it has made people meaner in general, it is like people on there are mean because they can be, it is why i swore off shitbook twitter and insta years ago, being on there made me suicidal too, does anybody else feel on a similar wavelength ?

 

[Final-push123]

Another victim of the mob

Sorry you had to go through this, people become uncivilized real quick when someone say or do something too far out of the mob's standards.

Good or bad the mob will riot

 

[blue_muse]

I've experienced a mob mentality on SS, when I tried highlighting some users's hidden agendas that's now led to problems acquiring N. One of the mods, RainAndSadness, invalidated me by indirectly calling me silly.

 

[FireFox]

My dear friend, never allow mean people to rain on your parade, they are worth less than the gum stuck on the sole of a shoe. You are of value, you are not wrong, you are yourself, and that is as it should and must be. Love and hugs to all our co-sufferers here.

@makethepainstop I can take criticism for my views and value civilised open debate especially on controversial topics but when it comes to pure personal abuse, mocking attacks on my character it is something which does hurt a lot. When you have community of women social media so offended, outraged and upset over your comments it feels like the entire world is against you.

The personal criticism and attacks on my character from the avalanche of outrage made me feel like I was a very bad evil person and even I began questioning myself a lot and the fact the woman really complained about how I made her feel bad about so herself I felt so guilty as that was never my intention to. I acknowledge went too far expressing my own dislike at my dark brown eyes

. I did apologise publicly and took full responsibility

It was just disturbing seeing older women especially mothers joining in the online mob. I am 25 years old and these grown ass women are participating in the online mob mentality. That was the most disturbing of all.

The whole thing has now taught me there is no such thing as women's solidarity. Solidarity only exists for women who fit in well and popular within a community. All my life I felt like an outsider amoung women. Most women talk so fondly of their deep friendships with women but I can't relate to that because all my life women pretty much excluded me. The girls at school excluded me from their friendship groups, the girls at school joined in the bullying I experienced, my own friends who were girls even said mean things about me when I was not around and I am woman but I feel just too different from the other women because of my experiences of life.

I have met some amazing compassionate women throughout my life I have met more bullying and judgmental women from all races acting as judge, jury and executioner instead of trying to help me.

Reading the bluest eye by Toni Morrison last month did more to help me deal with years of insecurities. I was wrong, foolish and naive for ever believing that I would feel safe for opening up my feelings with women in a women spaces.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

@firefox ......................... Unfortunately, the world, and its people, are what they are now. No doubt human behavior has degraded over time. I can tell from the words you write that your remorse about what was originally said is heartfelt. You are not the one with the problem, they are. This girl and her enabling cronies seem to lack the most basic humanistic qualities and that is forgiveness. I feel sorry for them. It must be hard to live that way. I'm sorry she fooled you for a short amount of time in thinking she was sincere in her friendship with you. It was good that her true colors eventually shown before you got in even deeper. I'd consider myself lucky to have gotten out when I did. You can't change a leopard's spots. And BTW, some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen had black or dark brown hair and brown eyes. As a guy, I have always preferred brunettes.

 

[Anonperson1]

Which country are you in? If in the UK, you can go to the police as she's commited an section 50 offence. Fuck her 'rape survivor' bullshit, being a rape survivor isn't a licence to be a cunt to other people, I know plenty of rape survivors and they never used it as a stick to beat people with.
And yea, I get you with the brown skin thing...I have had racist crap thrown at me since primary school being the only brown person in a very white christian school

 

[FireFox]

social media has so much to answer for, does anybody else feel it has damaged society in many ways, like social media has made people so fickle and superficial, and has damaged relationships does anybody here agree plus i swear it has made people meaner in general, it is like people on there are mean because they can be, it is why i swore off shitbook twitter and insta years ago, being on there made me suicidal too, does anybody else feel on a similar wavelength ?

@terryjw84* I believe the Internet and social media is a mirror exposing society and individuals for who they truly really are as people. The social media is society.

Black Mirror was warning us at how dangerous the mob mentality is as shown in the episode of Hated in the Nation. In the episode the British public use the #DeathTo to express their anger at public figures and celebrities they do not like. In the beginning people think the hashtag is joke and used it to express their hate and anger at a journalist called Jo powers who became the most hated woman over her controversial newspaper article she wrote. The journalist dies a painful death in her home

The hashtag is actually deadly whoever has the highest nominations from the hashtag will die. The public become aware of how deadly hashtag really is and all begin participate even more in nominating people who they believe deserve to die and even justifying their reasons. The end result is society becomes depraved because people are enjoying the suffering of the population and lose all sense of right and wrong. The social order breaks down as everyone is consumed in enjoying the humiliation of other people and imposing their perverted sense of morality and mob justice because the public were even justifying their reasons why the individual deserved to die and receive the highest nominations.

People on social media especially in a pack are incapable of listening to different perspectives they never heard before especially if that opinion or experience is something that makes them so uncomfortable or they don't understand at all. Instead of listening it's easier for people to attack, gaslight, bully, mock and express offence.

This creates perfect conditions for mob mentality to flourish.

How can school bullying end when adults everyday join the social media online mob? What are these people teaching their kids ? These people are certainly not teaching their kids to think critically and to be able to reason rationally.

 

[brokensea]

You have to unplug from those people and disable your account. People online can be vicious and toxic. They love drama and it all has a sense of unrealness on a screen that gives them permission to say whatever they want to demean someone to get a little sense of power and esteem by degrading someone else. You shared your own feelings. You apologized and were tricked and exploited. That sucks ass. Those are not good people to be around or think about. Try and let go of the shame and guilt. Keep posting in here which ironically is a healthier community online and super supportive compared to a lot of places. Just try to block and stay away from all of them eventually they will be forgotten. Forgive yourself. People can be savage to each other. This society sucks but you are beautiful and of value and a kind person you even care what those hags think or feel like. Give yourself a break and some compassion. Give yourself permission to say fuck them all and everyone and what they think. Their opinion means nothing.

 

[FireFox]

Which country are you in? If in the UK, you can go to the police as she's commited an section 50 offence. Fuck her 'rape survivor' bullshit, being a rape survivor isn't a licence to be a cunt to other people, I know plenty of rape survivors and they never used it as a stick to beat people with.
And yea, I get you with the brown skin thing...I have had racist crap thrown at me since primary school being the only brown person in a very white christian school

@Anonperson1 I felt so guilty when she really complained about how my comments on brown eyes and black hair made her feel so bad about herself mentally I don't like seeing other people upset. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. I acknowledge I went too far sadly I am a very naturally outspoken person. I felt genuinely remorseful

In the end I stopped feeling guilty once I learnt more about the womans life and how she has no life. She has no life. She works in a petrol station on minimum wage and she is still with her loser boyfriend who beats her up night and day. She didn't go to university. She has no real life friends and she spends time on the feminist social media group and getting mad at transgender news stuff on social media ie pronouns, she uses transphobic slurs left right and centre like it's confetti.

She wanted to study law at university but couldn't because of her controlling boyfriend. When I mentioned I studied law at university and would love to do a masters in law that is when she revealed all this to me. When we got along orginally I mentioned the countries I have visited.and my love for learning new cultures. The woman mentioned she never left Canada.

She even attacked my privileged sheltered upbringing. Her family are abusive and dysfunctional whereas mine are not and I has a stable upbringing.

The pure jealousy really started to show. In end I had nothing feel guilty about anymore because I showed her nothing but kindness and felt remorse and took full responsibility.

I live in the UK and the woman lives in Canada. The platform we used is an American social media platform which has users from different countries. Luckily online I am anonymous and use different pen names so I am untraceable.

 

[FireFox]

Another victim of the mob

Sorry you had to go through this, people become uncivilized real quick when someone say or do something too far out of the mob's standards.

Good or bad the mob will riot

@Final-push123 I love your Courage the cowardly dog profile picture so much. Courage the cowardly dog was my favourite cartoon show as a child.

I acknowledge I went too far but my arguments are still valid and strong. It is a fact there is a strong favourism and admiration regarding blue eyes. The sanctimonious online mob who act holier than thou in who lecturing me about how am i a very horrible woman and preach to me how everyone is beautiful are in complete denial of the shallow vain world we live in and people are actaully suffering because of the shallow standards of beauty.

In 2015 in America there was legal case about this married lesbian white mother who sued a sperm clinc for wrongful birth after she was accidentally ended up getting impregnated with a black man's sperm after an administrative mix up at the sperm bank. Her name is Jennifer cramblett and she lost her case.

Jennifer cramblett requested a sperm donor had blonde hair and blue eyes because she wanted the daughter to look like her wife who has blonde hair and blue eyes. The woman complained about how life has been difficult not being prepared in raising a mixed race child. Cramblett even said had 'limited cultural competency' with dealing with African-Americans and she was raised around stereotypical attitudes toward minorities growing up. She even complained about struggling to do the child's hair and having to drive far to see an African American barber.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...awsuit-mistaken-sperm-donation-dismissed.html

The child is so beautiful it is so sad she has that vain self centred woman for a mother.

Actually I was rescently I was scrolling through the childfree sub on reddit and I found a very old thread where people of colour and mixed race people in the comments section shared their own experiences of their own parents being disappointed they did not inherit their white mothers green eyes or knew families who wanted their children and grandchildren to inherit the blue eye or green and expressed disappointment when the child didn't turn out the way they wanted.Honestly it was so heartbreaking to read.

The sad thing is society really admires and sees blue eyes and other lighter coloured eyes more beautiful than brown eyes and thier many people who desire their children to have these eye colours. This shallow behaviour is all around us and is enabled by mordern fertility
All the woman typing at their keyboards telling me I am a bad person, an offensive person and how " brown eyes are beautiful" are literally blind ( no pun intended) to the reality our world. Yes there loads of beautiful people with brown eyes but society loves and sees blue eyes and other non brown eyes even more beautiful.

 

[FireFox]

@Anonperson1 Rescently I met a black woman who is Greek and it was so shocking how similar we are despite growing up in different countries. We had a conversations about what is life like growing up in Greece and the UK.

It was so shocking how similar we are despite growing up in different countries. She told me her experiences of frequent racism bullying at school made her feel like she was not pretty like the other white European girls in her class. The woman also told me how the black boys the ones she grew up with builled her over her appearance regularly and made her feel bad about herself. She said the school bullying harmed her confidence into adulthood.

I was regularly builled at school but I fought back against the arseholes bullying me and I got into loads fights at school. School was lonely as I was the social outsider girl who struggled to fit in and everyone thought was werid. Even though I fought back the bullying still harmed my self esstem and messed me up in many ways.

At secondary school the black boys in my class always made fun of the black girls appearance, I was a target of their bullying whereas they were always nicer to the white girls and wanted relationships with them. I went to a diverse school but I still experienced racist bullying and the school did not take it seriously at all. The racist bullying only stopped because my mother threatened to report the school to the board of governors and take further action against the school. Some of the black boys in my class even laughed along when I was being racially builled.

She explained to me the being a black woman how society "expects" me to be strong and the fact I expressed my vulnerability online it was inevitable I was going to be met condemnation from other women including from own my race because my expression of my vulnerablity went against the established status quo and social norms, people will not like that at all

Very interesting point she made and she actually understood how I felt. Honestly hearing her talk about her own experiences i could relate to everything she said and for once I didn't feel crazy,

When I open up about my own experiences of school bullying especially racist and how it still effects me into adulthood people don't believe or take me seriously at all i began to feel crazy. One white mother even told me online i should "get over it "

 

[FireFox]

You have to unplug from those people and disable your account. People online can be vicious and toxic. They love drama and it all has a sense of unrealness on a screen that gives them permission to say whatever they want to demean someone to get a little sense of power and esteem by degrading someone else. You shared your own feelings. You apologized and were tricked and exploited. That sucks ass. Those are not good people to be around or think about. Try and let go of the shame and guilt. Keep posting in here which ironically is a healthier community online and super supportive compared to a lot of places. Just try to block and stay away from all of them eventually they will be forgotten. Forgive yourself. People can be savage to each other. This society sucks but you are beautiful and of value and a kind person you even care what those hags think or feel like. Give yourself a break and some compassion. Give yourself permission to say fuck them all and everyone and what they think. Their opinion means nothing.

@brokensea I was so wrong, foolish and naive for ever believing that I would feel safe for opening up my feelings with women in a women spaces. The women who participated in the online mob judging, attacking and mocking me call them proud feminists passionate about women but actually their behaviour was exactly just like the mean christians in the church I grew up with. The mean christians see themselves as superior to others just because they hold a set of beliefs and live a particular lifestyle and bullies and shames anyone in the community who doesn't follow their beliefs. My experience is not the first time I experienced online hate from women whenever I opened up about my insecurities.

Just rescently I met a lovely black woman who grew up in Greece and we both had interesting conversations about life in our countries. The woman explained how she still suffers from the trauma of experiencing racial abuse as a teenager in Greece and struggles to love herself because of it.

She explained to me being a black woman society "expects" you to "be strong" and the fact I expressed my vulnerability online it was inevitable I was going to be met condemnation from other women including your from own your race because my expression of my vulnerablity went against the established status quo and social norms.

She also explained to me that a lot of people do not understand or even care about the damaging effects racism has on a person and how a person see themselves therefore I shouldn't feel bad or upset about the online hate and criticism I have received from the mob.

 

[brokensea]

@brokensea I was so wrong, foolish and naive for ever believing that I would feel safe for opening up my feelings with women in a women spaces. The women who participated in the online mob judging, attacking and mocking me call them proud feminists passionate about women but actually their behaviour was exactly just like the mean christians in the church I grew up with. The mean christians see themselves as superior to others just because they hold a set of beliefs and live a particular lifestyle and bullies and shames anyone in the community who doesn't follow their beliefs. My experience is not the first time I experienced online hate from women whenever I opened up about my insecurities.

Just rescently I met a lovely black woman who grew up in Greece and we both had interesting conversations about life in our countries. The woman explained how she still suffers from the trauma of experiencing racial abuse as a teenager in Greece and struggles to love herself because of it.

She explained to me being a black woman society "expects" you to "be strong" and the fact I expressed my vulnerability online it was inevitable I was going to be met condemnation from other women including your from own your race because my expression of my vulnerablity went against the established status quo and social norms.

She also explained to me that a lot of people do not understand or even care about the damaging effects racism has on a person and how a person see themselves therefore I shouldn't feel bad or upset about the online hate and criticism I have received from the mob.

I think your friend is right. People took what you said wrong and didn't understand what you were saying.

It's wrong how you were bullied in your past and now again by the online group you were a part of.

Not everyone thinks the way those people do. People will always find something to dislike about someone from their race, weight, gender, hair, height and they will tear you down but there are others who will value you and see you and your unique beauty and how special you are. Society and cruel people their opinions don't matter. Would you want to hang out with such superficial people or be friends with them? Then why care what they think? The whole world can be completely wrong and screwed up. It has been countless times. It doesn't make you any less beautiful of a person.

I think dark skin is pretty and brown eyes are really nice.

 

[Final-push123]

@Final-push123 I love your Courage the cowardly dog profile picture so much. Courage the cowardly dog was my favourite cartoon show as a child.

I acknowledge I went too far but my arguments are still valid and strong. It is a fact there is a strong favourism and admiration regarding blue eyes. The sanctimonious online mob who act holier than thou in who lecturing me about how am i a very horrible woman and preach to me how everyone is beautiful are in complete denial of the shallow vain world we live in and people are actaully suffering because of the shallow standards of beauty.

In 2015 in America there was legal case about this married lesbian white mother who sued a sperm clinc for wrongful birth after she was accidentally ended up getting impregnated with a black man's sperm after an administrative mix up at the sperm bank. Her name is Jennifer cramblett and she lost her case.

Jennifer cramblett requested a sperm donor had blonde hair and blue eyes because she wanted the daughter to look like her wife who has blonde hair and blue eyes. The woman complained about how life has been difficult not being prepared in raising a mixed race child. Cramblett even said had 'limited cultural competency' with dealing with African-Americans and she was raised around stereotypical attitudes toward minorities growing up. She even complained about struggling to do the child's hair and having to drive far to see an African American barber.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...awsuit-mistaken-sperm-donation-dismissed.html

The child is so beautiful it is so sad she has that vain self centred woman for a mother.

Actually I was rescently I was scrolling through the childfree sub on reddit and I found a very old thread where people of colour and mixed race people in the comments section shared their own experiences of their own parents being disappointed they did not inherit their white mothers green eyes or knew families who wanted their children and grandchildren to inherit the blue eye or green and expressed disappointment when the child didn't turn out the way they wanted.Honestly it was so heartbreaking to read.

The sad thing is society really admires and sees blue eyes and other lighter coloured eyes more beautiful than brown eyes and thier many people who desire their children to have these eye colours. This shallow behaviour is all around us and is enabled by mordern fertility
All the woman typing at their keyboards telling me I am a bad person, an offensive person and how " brown eyes are beautiful" are literally blind ( no pun intended) to the reality our world. Yes there loads of beautiful people with brown eyes but society loves and sees blue eyes and other non brown eyes even more beautiful.

So many points and events through out history lead up to the obsession societies have the world over European/whiteness features in men and women.

It so messed up and then when you point this out to people, they will attack you for being "insensitive" or something like that.

The only thing I could say is to try to find self help therapy such as rational emotional behavior therapy to try to work through the trauma. I worked for me (relatively speaking).

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful

 

[Dans117]

Hi FireFox,

I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I quit blogging for the exact same reason: promoting my blog on social media was hell because all I got was insults and criticism. It is so sad that the women couldn't accept you as you are, your skin color doesn't change the fact that you are a human being deserving of compassion. I do believe social media has simply exposed and magnified the ugliness that has always existed in the hearts of humans. I sometimes wonder if I am an alien soul who got stuck on this planet somehow. The technology we have seems just that to me: alien. I don't even like TV / movies / videogames anymore because it feels so toxic, nothing but violence, hatred and petty drama. I just feel like my mind is being violated and my schizoaffective makes that feeling even worse. I hope you find support here or somewhere else for the trauma you have gone through. Best wishes to you.

 

[FireFox]

So many points and events through out history lead up to the obsession societies have the world over European/whiteness features in men and women.

It so messed up and then when you point this out to people, they will attack you for being "insensitive" or something like that.

The only thing I could say is to try to find self help therapy such as rational emotional behavior therapy to try to work through the trauma. I worked for me (relatively speaking).

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful

@Final-push123 I know I went too far and my language was a poor choice of words but the fact the online mob of women were frequently me calling a "horrible person" and attacking my character was just NOT fair. I am not Jeremy Dahmer( I rescently watched the Netflix TV series that Ryan Murphy made, i enjoyed it, Ryan Murphy did a great job and so did the actors), I am not a mass murderer, I am not animal killer but oh my god they were acting as if I was a mass murderer instead of seeing me as the unhapy vunlerable person who feels unattractive because she has dark brown eyes . That is what the criticism felt like reading the comments.

Actually the whole thing has been a eye opening learning experience which has opened my eyes on how the world actually works. In a way I am glad this has happened to me now.

We live in a world where people DO NOT want to admit that some features a woman has are seen as more beautiful and desirable than others by society and men. Men are attracted to women that have particular features. There plenty of men who do see women with blue eyes, green eyes and Hazel etc as more beautiful than that brown eyed girl. I am jealous of women who have blue eyes or non brown eyes because the love they get and their eye colours are so pretty and my dark brown eyes are just so boring. All my life I have felt like this I do not want to be this way.

It is impossible to have a civilised rational mature discussion about this and that pretty much the last time I am sharing my insecurities with people. I have encountered good women who do care but there far more women who actually enjoy judging, lecturing, dismissing and gaslighting other women wherever they open up about their insecurities.

We live in a depraved world where within the population people actually enjoy imposing their perverted sense of "morality" and go on this moral crusade in condemning and judging others all because their opinions and perspectives made others feel uncomfortable.

The whole thing has shown me how hypocritical and pathetic people actually are. The funny thing is the woman who complained about me she throws transphobic slurs and even publicly made fun of her childhood friend who transitioned into a man as she publicly revealed his Facebook account which showed his post op transition photo

She is big enough to be a prejudiced transphobic bigot but she can not handle my comments criticising my OWN brown eyes. She kept portraying herself to be this fragile vunlerable mentally unstable lonely woman but actually she is a piece of sh*t . The more I learnt about her vile nature I stopped feeling guilty because I did everything to fix my mistakes. I apologised publicly to her and took full responsibility for my actions.

Now I can not stop laughing because i couldn't believe i was feeling guilty the past couple of months because of her

 

[ts0hill]

I agree 100%. I hate cancel culture. You know that woman Erin the vegan? Everyone hates her and she did nothing wrong. I don't understand how people can't understand why hating someone is ok. Everyone has done bad stuff in their lives

 

[FireFox]

I think your friend is right. People took what you said wrong and didn't understand what you were saying.

It's wrong how you were bullied in your past and now again by the online group you were a part of.

Not everyone thinks the way those people do. People will always find something to dislike about someone from their race, weight, gender, hair, height and they will tear you down but there are others who will value you and see you and your unique beauty and how special you are. Society and cruel people their opinions don't matter. Would you want to hang out with such superficial people or be friends with them? Then why care what they think? The whole world can be completely wrong and screwed up. It has been countless times. It doesn't make you any less beautiful of a person.

I think dark skin is pretty and brown eyes are really nice.

@brokensea I read the Bluest eye by Toni Morrison last month and this book has really helped change my perspective.It's about a 11 year black girl called Pecola who wishes she had blue eyes so she can feel more beautiful and loved. Be warned it is can be difficult to read especially with references over rape.

The book made me realise that self hatred is ulimately destructive and only true freedom can be found by loving and accepting one's self. Only I can fight this war within myself. This book has helped me deal with my years of insecurities. I still have a long way to go but my a shift in my perspective has been amazing.

I agree 100%. I hate cancel culture. You know that woman Erin the vegan? Everyone hates her and she did nothing wrong. I don't understand how people can't understand why hating someone is ok. Everyone has done bad stuff in their lives

@ts0hill this is what f*cking irritates me people in society express shock whenever someone kills themselves and start preaching about mental health saying " why didn't reach out" or tweet the number of the suicide hotline when a celebrity kills themselves.

What are the f*ck were people expecting to happen?

We live in a toxic world where people like to look down upon others different to them, excluding them socially and always being so mean and showing no kindness to their fellow human being.

This is toxic society will unfortunately led to some people ending their own lives. After all why should a person live in a world where nobody wants them around, judges whenever they open up about their problems.

The same hypocritical arseholes who tweet the suicide hotline number whenever a celebrity kills themselves are the same people that participate and perpetuate a system of bullying, excluding other people and failing to show kindness to their fellow human being.

Society and all its hypocritical arseholes can go f*ck themselves. Suicide prevention is the biggest hypocrisy ever.

 

[FireFox]

Hi FireFox,

I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I quit blogging for the exact same reason: promoting my blog on social media was hell because all I got was insults and criticism. It is so sad that the women couldn't accept you as you are, your skin color doesn't change the fact that you are a human being deserving of compassion. I do believe social media has simply exposed and magnified the ugliness that has always existed in the hearts of humans. I sometimes wonder if I am an alien soul who got stuck on this planet somehow. The technology we have seems just that to me: alien. I don't even like TV / movies / videogames anymore because it feels so toxic, nothing but violence, hatred and petty drama. I just feel like my mind is being violated and my schizoaffective makes that feeling even worse. I hope you find support here or somewhere else for the trauma you have gone through. Best wishes to you.

@Dans117
Virtual hug and i wish you well too

Schizoaffective disorder is an awful mental illness I am sorry you are suffering and in pain.

I can criticism for my views as I have been a controversial person throughout my life due to my outspoken nature and not being afraid to ask difficult questions but when it comes to attacks on my character and being frequently accused of being a "horrible" person by the online mob, this is something I can not tolerate and the criticism really hurts.

I am not perfect, yes can be stubborn at times and I have made mistakes but I am not a horrible person, i know i am not. A horrible person is someone like a mass murder or just someone who brings great suffering to people's lives. To put in the same league as these people just because my views upset people is NOT fair.

When you have this avalanche of outrage from a large community of people you begin question yourself and who you really are as a person. I began to feel like I was the worst person in the world who deserved to die because of the online hate and criticism.

I wish you well. I just think it so sad that in this advanced age of medicine and technology we can't find a cure or relief for schizoaffective disorder and other severe mental illnesses. Then we have people in society thinking mental illness is a joke look at how everyone is laughing at Kanye west's meltdown and all the crazy antics he keeps doing when it is so clear this man needs treatment. Kanye West is still out of control he is not taking medication or anything really for his bipolar disorder.

I am worried one day Kanye west will end up killing himself or severely hurting someone ie Kim karadashian or his kids because of the crazy antics he keeps doing as his bipolar remains untreated and then people will cry " oh my god this so tragic we need to do more for mental health" but these are same people who kept laughing at a ill man as they thought this was entertainment. Disgusting and hypocritical society we live in.

 

[Kattt]

I had someone tell me that my life is worth less than a pint in the pub and that I'm just "collateral damage". This because I have an auto immune condition so have to self isolate mostly.
I've never asked anyone to do anything to protect me or go out of their way at all.
But yeah...it seems whatever people thought in the sanctum of their vile hate filled domicile is now fine to throw about in public with all abandon