Venting I must make a decision, quickly

[Judah]

Honestly, I find myself trapped, cornered and with no escape living a damn loop that does not stop, I am so unstable that I do not feel safe about the things I do, and that worries me.

Damn, I want to live to the fullest and in a pleasant way, but it seems that life hates me and eludes me every time I try to take a step forward looking for recovery, I really tried and it was almost impossible to recover with the current circumstances that I have, With my past, and my future absolutely black and empty ahead, I have no idea what to do with my life, but I also do not want to take desperate measures, I really hate being trapped, caged and quite limited, but I guess death will solve everything So I'll do my best to find N, I don't want to go through these things over and over again without seeing any signs of improvement.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

You are certainly not alone. I think a lot of us feel trapped in our own lives. I know I do.

 

[Soul]

@JustJudah, beautiful, I know and dislike that "must decide fast!" sensation. For now please focus on your breathing or some music you love or cuddling a pet, because you don't have to decide under duress or in a hurry. You get to decide when you're ready. x

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Feeling trapped is one of the worst predicaments to be in. Happiness is an extension of freedom, it is hard to feel content when one exists under duress rather than genuine fulfillment. I wish you did not have to find yourself in such a suffocating situation, Judah.

The circumstances that lead to this are not your fault at all, we don't choose the cradle that we're born in. It is so so frustrating that there isn't a clearcut way for you to find a home, a place to settle, and an identity that you feel comfortable with.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

You don't have to make the decision that quickly though really.

That's one of the perks of this thing. It's like the ace in the hole. You don't have to do it ever, but if stuff really gets too unbearable it's always an option. I keep putting it off since I'm stupid and keep wanting to see how much the next day is going to suck.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

You don't have to make the decision that quickly though really.

That's one of the perks of this thing. It's like the ace in the hole. You don't have to do it ever, but if stuff really gets too unbearable it's always an option. I keep putting it off since I'm stupid and keep wanting to see how much the next day is going to suck.

I don't know how people go through life without suicide in their back pocket. Just in case.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know it can be awful to feel trapped, I'm sorry you are in this situation. I can imagine it must be a hopeless feeling when you try to get better and things do not work out. Living can be very painful. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Judah]

The circumstances that lead to this are not your fault at all, we don't choose the cradle that we're born in. It is so so frustrating that there isn't a clearcut way for you to find a home, a place to settle, and an identity that you feel comfortable with.

In fact, there are solutions, but they require highly bureaucratic processes and absurd amounts of money, it is as if life itself does not want me to recover or find a more comfortable and fulfilling life.