Venting i miss the void

[sadghost]

I've only gotten through about 25% of my life and I've struggled for most of it. I cannot even imagine living for 80+ years, the thought of that is horrifying to me.

When I think of the future, I just think about how much suffering lies ahead: bills, finding employment, maintaining employment, and most of all, not killing myself.

I can't believe we are expected to go to school + work for most of our lives. I'm so burnt out already and I'm only in college.. I feel so defeated. People laugh when I express that I feel "old" but I guess most people don't plan to prematurely end their lives..

My anhedonia and suffering only dissipates when I am sleeping. Is it much of a wonder why I want to sleep for eternity?

I resent the day I was conceived - the day that I was forcefully taken from the comfortable void and abused by life. Earth is a prison and this house is my cell.

 

[Green Destiny]

I can get where you're coming from. I envy those that won't ever be born and brought into this forsaken existence. I'm a person that was better off in the void, not coming to this life.

 

[sadghost]

I can get where you're coming from. I envy those that won't ever be born and brought into this forsaken existence. I'm a person that was better off in the void, not coming to this life.

I feel that very much, I don't think I'll ever be okay with being born

 

[ClownMe]

Ive been suffering with similar feelings for a while now. Basically every old person ive seen/met seem miserable. I keep thinking, "what am i working for?" to become old and miserable?

 

[sadghost]

Ive been suffering with similar feelings for a while now. Basically every old person ive seen/met seem miserable. I keep thinking, "what am i working for?" to become old and miserable?

I have observed the same! Honestly every adult seems miserable to me.. I understand though I mean the world is a dumpster fire. I just don't understand the blind optimism and love for life that everyone around me has.

 

[Bigpink]

I have the same feeling, wish I'd never come into existence, my life experience tells me I should not be here, everyone dismisses and ignores me.
If I had just one wish, it would be to never have been conceived.

 

[WornOutLife]

I can't imagine living +80 years either.
I mean, why does this society think that it's a good idea to get to be a very sick old grey man/woman? Nonsense!

 

[FuneralCry]

I have the exact same feelings. I sometimes think I was never meant to be born, that I was meant to just stay in the void but by mistake was brought here. We suffer so much in this life, just for the sake of it as death makes all life meaningless. I dread the thought of getting older too.

 

[sadghost]

I can't imagine living +80 years either.
I mean, why does this society think that it's a good idea to get to be a very sick old grey man/woman? Nonsense!

I know, it's honestly mind boggling to me. I was talking to a friend about this and she told me she wanted to live as long as possible and I was like

 

[sadghost]

I have the exact same feelings. I sometimes think I was never meant to be born, that I was meant to just stay in the void but by mistake was brought here. We suffer so much in this life, just for the sake of it as death makes all life meaningless. I dread the thought of getting older too.

The whole suffering just to suffer thing really upsets me.. I really find life to be a cruel joke of some sort. After watching my parents grow older and seeing them develop all these painful health conditions, I'm afraid of aging too