Venting i miss my friend so fucking much

[feliksy magaliNé]

she was such a wonderful person, the only person in my life who actually cared about me and i wasted our friendship by being a piece of shit
the only person who knew everything about me, and still stuck by my side
all the constant venting and mood swings must've been hard on her
although she did some questionable things too, i don't blame her because in the end i was the bigger pos
if i could turn back time and live out that time when we were friends forever, i'd take that at all costs
maybe i'll meet her again in my next life when i ctb, and i'll get to tell her how sorry i am…
i'm so sorry Z, if only you knew how much i regret everything…

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

I think we all have a friendship/relationship or two like that...
I remember when I used to forgive people for everything because they were worth so much to me even if the things they did destroyed me.

Sometimes people are just better apart and even see things more clearly that way... What they did wrong themselves and what others do.

It's a lesson at the very least.

 

[feliksy magaliNé]

that's true… i guess i improved in some ways when our friendship ended
i became more self aware at the very least
it still hurts and the grief disables me so but at least i have that
thank you for your advice and kind words :D

 

[lost_ange2211]

It is sad to lose someone who we really trusted and counted on. But what I learned is that every person in your life is just a "visitor". While some stay for a good while, others will go sooner or later. They just leave to get on another way. I know it's hard but nothing is permanent unfortunately.
I think you should try to forgive yourself as you are the one you have to live with until your end.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

she was such a wonderful person, the only person in my life who actually cared about me and i wasted our friendship by being a piece of shit
the only person who knew everything about me, and still stuck by my side
all the constant venting and mood swings must've been hard on her
although she did some questionable things too, i don't blame her because in the end i was the bigger pos
if i could turn back time and live out that time when we were friends forever, i'd take that at all costs
maybe i'll meet her again in my next life when i ctb, and i'll get to tell her how sorry i am…
i'm so sorry Z, if only you knew how much i regret everything…

Oh this post hits me like a fucking brick…it's so relateable you have no idea

If you ever wanna talk abput your story in detail or vent at all…i'm here for you ok? I promise

 

[Eternal Eyes]

I don't know your circumstances, or what happened between you and that person. But I can strongly relate. I've never found it easy to make friends (moreso impossible). But a few years ago, I did make one, I'll call them C. I honestly fell in love with C. They were probably the first person to ever love me, and look out for me. They seemed to take a genuine interest in my life. They actually seemed to like me. I felt emotions with them I'd never felt before. C knew everything about me, from my greatest traumas, to seeing holiday photos of me as a child.

Eventually however, we began to argue, it was my fault. I was mentally ill, badly ill. It was in the pandemic, I was coming off three terrible years in a row, and I finally found a hobby (travelling)...then the pandemic happened. Lockdown was awful. I lost C. I had one breakdown too many, and they felt we couldn't be friends anymore. For years I often thought about C on Christmas, on their birthday, if something traumatic happened in the news I'd think of C. Even when my pet cat died I thought of C's dog and prayed C wouldn't lose their dog like I lost my dear cat. I often thought of reaching out, but was worried I'd hurt them.

Four years later, I befriended someone, just like C. So much like C, that I plucked up the courage to browse around on my laptop, to find C's email, and email them. Apologizing for what I did four years ago. I didn't expect a response.

C responded within 24 hours, and said they had felt the same as me for years, they wanted to reach out, but just couldn't get the courage to do it. Now it seems we're friends again.

Don't give up. I don't know when you lost this person. But who knows, maybe someday you can get this person back. I hope you do. There's nothing worse than deeply loving someone...and seeing them fade away.

 

[feliksy magaliNé]

It is sad to lose someone who we really trusted and counted on. But what I learned is that every person in your life is just a "visitor". While some stay for a good while, others will go sooner or later. They just leave to get on another way. I know it's hard but nothing is permanent unfortunately.
I think you should try to forgive yourself as you are the one you have to live with until your end.

i know that everyone leaves eventually, but i didn't expect that it'd be so soon… i thought that the two of us would be friends forever
i've been living for so long but i haven't made peace with that fact yet
it hurts too much that we're not friends anymore, but i'll try my best to move on as i have since that day
thank you for your advice, it motivated me a bit to get on with my life just as she did

Oh this post hits me like a fucking brick…it's so relateable you have no idea

If you ever wanna talk abput your story in detail or vent at all…i'm here for you ok? I promise

i'm really sorry that it happened to you too… i wouldn't wish this pain upon anyone else but at the same time i'm grateful that you're here for me despite the grief that you're in
it would help a lot if we could talk, but i might be going to sleep soon so i'll be afk after a while

I don't know your circumstances, or what happened between you and that person. But I can strongly relate. I've never found it easy to make friends (moreso impossible). But a few years ago, I did make one, I'll call them C. I honestly fell in love with C. They were probably the first person to ever love me, and look out for me. They seemed to take a genuine interest in my life. They actually seemed to like me. I felt emotions with them I'd never felt before. C knew everything about me, from my greatest traumas, to seeing holiday photos of me as a child.

Eventually however, we began to argue, it was my fault. I was mentally ill, badly ill. It was in the pandemic, I was coming off three terrible years in a row, and I finally found a hobby (travelling)...then the pandemic happened. Lockdown was awful. I lost C. I had one breakdown too many, and they felt we couldn't be friends anymore. For years I often thought about C on Christmas, on their birthday, if something traumatic happened in the news I'd think of C. Even when my pet cat died I thought of C's dog and prayed C wouldn't lose their dog like I lost my dear cat. I often thought of reaching out, but was worried I'd hurt them.

Four years later, I befriended someone, just like C. So much like C, that I plucked up the courage to browse around on my laptop, to find C's email, and email them. Apologizing for what I did four years ago. I didn't expect a response.

C responded within 24 hours, and said they had felt the same as me for years, they wanted to reach out, but just couldn't get the courage to do it. Now it seems we're friends again.

Don't give up. I don't know when you lost this person. But who knows, maybe someday you can get this person back. I hope you do. There's nothing worse than deeply loving someone...and seeing them fade away.

thank you so much for sharing your story and for those encouraging words
your story and mine are really similar in many ways
hopefully i can talk to her and be on good terms with her again just like you are with C
i'm not sure if she'd want to talk to me again though, it really seems like she wanted to cut me off for good
thank you again though, your story helped me regain a little bit of hope
i hope it's not a weird thing to say btw but you're very well-spoken, i hope you have an easier time making friends now :)