Foogs
Give me your blood
- Jun 22, 2021
- 64
The one I had to let go of because my disability, which developed in the middle of our relationship, was making our lives (and especially hers) awful. Full story if you care: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/why-i-want-to-ctb-and-my-method.69381/
I had just went into the room where she stayed because I had to get something from there. All of a sudden it was like I realized where I was and immediately started weeping. It was like I could almost still see her there, laying in the bed poking at her phone. When I gathered the strength to leave the room I closed the door behind me and still just wept with my head up against the door. I've never felt loss like this. She's just gone, almost like she's dead to me, because there's no point in ever trying to speak to her unless I can fix my disability. We had one beautifully sad last meeting and that's how I want to leave it, rather than poison that memory with new attempts to communicate with her when I still can't type or speak much. It would just be pathetic. If I ever speak to her again it will be because I'm healed. I'm trying really hard to make that happen. I just miss her so much in the meantime. I hope she's happier now. I hope I get better soon. I need her.
I had just went into the room where she stayed because I had to get something from there. All of a sudden it was like I realized where I was and immediately started weeping. It was like I could almost still see her there, laying in the bed poking at her phone. When I gathered the strength to leave the room I closed the door behind me and still just wept with my head up against the door. I've never felt loss like this. She's just gone, almost like she's dead to me, because there's no point in ever trying to speak to her unless I can fix my disability. We had one beautifully sad last meeting and that's how I want to leave it, rather than poison that memory with new attempts to communicate with her when I still can't type or speak much. It would just be pathetic. If I ever speak to her again it will be because I'm healed. I'm trying really hard to make that happen. I just miss her so much in the meantime. I hope she's happier now. I hope I get better soon. I need her.
Last edited: