Venting I Might Do It Today

[MBiopic]

I might do it. I hate myself so much I can't take it. I ruin everything I touch. I lost a person I loved very much because of my stupid impulsive actions. I have to pay for what I've done, I'm a bother to everone who knows me. I'm going to try and jump off a tall university building, I don't have any other way to do it. I'm supposed to go to my first group therapy meeting but I'm at my limit. I am very scared, terrified even, but I just don't know how to deal with it all anymore. I can never be forgiven and I deserve to die. I hope I can force my way through the fear and just do every person I've ever known a favor.

 

[Trav1989]

I might do it. I hate myself so much I can't take it. I ruin everything I touch. I lost a person I loved very much because of my stupid impulsive actions. I have to pay for what I've done, I'm a bother to everone who knows me. I'm going to try and jump off a tall university building, I don't have any other way to do it. I'm supposed to go to my first group therapy meeting but I'm at my limit. I am very scared, terrified even, but I just don't know how to deal with it all anymore. I can never be forgiven and I deserve to die. I hope I can force my way through the fear and just do every person I've ever known a favor.

I know the taste of that particular flavor of loss all too well... I also made mistake after mistake in regards to not being mentally/emotionally available enough for my ex-wife which wasn't the primary cause of the divorce but certainly didn't help. I have tried to give life another chance but nothing has worked out and the damage has been done so I've since acquired SN and I'm going to be joining you soon more than likely.

This life is difficult to say the least.